Ugh, I hate classes. There is way too many of them. But at least I get to see my girlfriend. Yay. *jazz hands* Yeah, I mean, I do like her but something inside me keeps saying to break up with her. But I don't want to.
I keep going to my classes, going through the same routine: Going to classes, dying of boredom, seeing my girlfriend, wanting to break up with her because it's starting to hurt inside the more I keep from not doing what my self is telling me to do, eating, and leaving, on the bus, going home. Arriving at home, doing my Home work, Reading BL, fangirling, looking up Klance pics, reading klangst/langst/angst and crying over what Lance is doing to himself or what is going on from it, reading fan fictions from Wattpad, talking to my internet friends on there, staying on there for hours: role playing, talking to friends, writing and making up poems. Thinking of new story ideas and thinking my stories are terrible. Then going to bed, to dream about my ships.
So yeah. Same old, same old. Except that day.
I was starting up my routine, getting asked(Yeah, that was a regular occurrence, plus being called names. Oh goody!) if I was dating Kaylea(that was her name) and saying that yes I was. Then hearing people gossip about it, calling me names in the process, ignoring it, yet still hurting inside from it.
But before I go into this, I should probably mention what happened the day before. I was walking to my bus and had greeted my two friends, Hannah and Infinity. They had come to know the day before, the day Kaylea asked me out and I said yes, that I was dating her and wasn't straight. I asked them,"Do you not want to be friends with me because I'm not straight? Do you mind it?" And they said,"No, Of course not. We are your friends, Leah. We wouldn't do that." Then I'm like," phew. Thought you would for a second there." Then they asked the one questions everyone asked: "Are you dating Kaylea?" Then I would say the same thing I told everyone else: "Yes"
Couple days later:
I walk into 3rd period, to see one of my best friends, Jaylen, sitting at our usual table. I walk over just as my other best friend, Hannah, walks through the door. I greet her and she does the same. We both sit down and go on our chrome books, me reading fan fictions and talking to friends; them, doing essays that was our work that was supposed to be done. But nope, that, for me, was fan fiction and messaging friends time.
I'm just reading when my friend, Jaylen, asks me a question: "Do you have a crush on me?"
You could assume that I either said,"Yeah, I do." But nope. I didn't. I hadn't even thought about it. I start thinking about it after saying,"No. I mean, I might have before but no. No, I don't."
Then she said,"You know I don;t like girls like that."
And I put my hands up saying,"Yeah. I know, Jaylen. I know you. So I know you don't."
"good. Phew thought it would be awkward if you did."
And im like,"Yeah, it would've" That is when I thought about it. And I realized I did indeed have a crush on her. For at least 2 years now.
After that realization, I, after having nightmares and getting haunted about that feeling I had in my chest, broke up with Kaylea the only way I knew how: Nicely. I don't really remember much from that day. It was so long ago. I wish I could tell you but I can't recall what was said except that I roasted people that day. Great day. And the feeling had disappeared after I broke up with her. But that was also the day that more problems started popping up.
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