Today, my Trial officially began. There is so much I want to explain because time is so limited here. Yet, it still feels like a lifetime away until the Trial ends.

For my sake, I will start with the Trial itself. I know I will need to remember this again.

I want to become a Guardian. They are angels granted authority to watch over the spiritual welfare of humans. They try to guide their wards on the straight-and-narrow path toward happiness. Each human still keeps their own free will, but Guardians offer suggestions—for lack of a better term—anyway.

To become a Guardian, I must live on Earth again, but with no protection from sin. In fact, my “goal” is to sin as much as possible in a controlled fashion so I can guide others. How else will I know what another is experiencing?

To ensure my success, I will have a Demon to guide me. Assuming we succeed, not only will I achieve my goal, but I will redeem the Demon. If we fail…

I try not to dwell on the negatives, but it is always a possibility. If we fail, I become a Demon while my Demonic companion will become a Devil. He would lose everything: his identity, his memories, his family. He would be a slave to Satan, tormenting the souls of the fallen forever.

I cannot let that happen!

When He called me to the Boundary—where Heaven meets Hell itself—I saw him in the darkness unable to protect himself or do anything except whatever Satan forced upon him. I always thought Hell was just fire and brimstone with Satan ruling over all by oppression.

It is far worse than that.

He—Kiran—told me he couldn’t see anything further than his hand. They wracked his entire soul with the most unimaginable pain that never stopped, even for a second. The Devils lurk in the darkness, causing pain and whispering evil things. Kiran said they told him things about his wife he knew were wrong, but still believed them.

No matter what happened that put Kiran in that situation, he never deserved so much agony. Satan himself towered over Kiran, holding his shoulder until it was time to release him. Even just the touch marred his soul. It was horrific! Kiran said the damage it inflicted was even on his physical body.

The worst part was when Satan freed Kiran and He gave us our assignments. Kiran could not look me, nor his Maker, in the eyes because he was ashamed. He said he could feel the weight of his sins.

I never want to feel that way. But I will. I know I will. For now, I need to press on with faith, humility, and patience to learn what I must.

—Excerpt from the personal journal of Ms. Flora Fairview, written March 4, 2015