Me: [frustrated] SON OF A BITCH!

Yup. Just like I told you in the previous chapter, I ended up back in the goddamn forest alone that night. And you know what? I was right to be frustrated. Who wouldn’t be at least a little disturbed by what I was going through? I lost my girlfriend - no, you can’t fault me by saying I dumped her because I factually didn’t - she left me for another dude she was already sleeping with. I didn’t even chase her into the arms of another man [read: grown ASS man]. Mom looked like she was stewing on something I probably had nothing to do with. I could just feel a new and unjustified beating coming to me soon. I was short, still poor, stuck with some low grades from fucking off a large part of the school year, stuck in a gang, addicted to drugs, selling drugs, and then this shit - lost in the fucking forest with these high ass walls and no reliable way home.

So I walked my regular lap around the structure. The damned thing got bigger. No, it’s literally bigger - much bigger - and I’m going to tell you how I knew. In my previous visits, I walked around the structure and noted the terrain was kind of rough, remember? Well, I quickly became pretty well acquainted with a nice sized gopher hole right next to what I later came to learn was the east wall of the structure. And I get it, you wouldn’t think two feet more added to one, two, or even each side would be significant to a structure already so large. I understand that. But don’t be so hasty with your assumptions. See, I went in again. Yeah, I know…

Me: [sighs] Clearly I didn’t learn shit.

In my defense, it was rather drafty outside. It wasn’t terribly cold but the wind made it feel that way. We had rain most of the day and maintained heavy cloud coverage the rest of the way. It had taken a few hours for the ground to dry and the temperature didn’t go back up. It was a pretty mild day - maybe about room temperature at the hottest point after the rain. Anyway, the wind was cold that night and I wasn’t in the mood to stay out in it until I was magically transported home. You know how those dickheads at some libraries sit around with the air conditioning on IN THE FUCKING WINTER as if that makes for a comfortable reading environment? That’s how it felt outside of the walls whenever the wind blew, and it blew a lot. So, yeah, I went-the-fuck-back inside. Sue me.

It was different this time, and that turned out to be a good thing. The cold air would have just rolled over the top(s) of the giant wall(s) because there was no roof. But there was an added layer of security starting with this visit. There were walls equally as large and imposing inside. Actually, no, they were the original walls. I circled around and marveled at the amount of change until I spotted that old iron door from before. Previously I had thought the door was moved and updated, but this old monster was in the same place and not properly closed, as usual. The corridors were very wide. The new and nearly identical exterior walls were set about fifteen feet from the original ones. The gopher hole was in the same place as always. That’s the level of growth I’m talking about - and it was like that all the way around. Yeah, we’re adding over thirty feet to both the length and width of this beast. The overall area changed greatly.

You’re probably crossing your eyes trying to visualize this, so let me help you out with some geometry.

Each of the original walls was about a mile long. That’s 5280 feet long. Multiply the length by the width to get the area, or square footage. That’s 5280 x 5280 = 27,878,400 square feet. That’s exactly one square mile. Getting a better idea of the size of this thing? That makes my experience inside the time I went after that giant jewel all the more terrifying, doesn’t it? Okay, the walls were about three feet deep and the corridors I was wandering around were about fifteen feet wide. So, we’re adding eighteen feet to each side. Remember when I said it was over thirty feet larger in each dimension? That’s true. In fact, we’re adding 36 feet to each dimension. That’s now 5316 x 5316 = 28,259,856 square feet. That’s a difference of 381,456 square feet! That’s enormous. It’s around 8.76 acres larger than it was before. The average city block is about two acres in total area. It’s over four city blocks larger than before. That’s what we’re dealing with here. Crazy, right?

The wind swept right over this monstrous square and I was able to warm up a little as a result. It was nice to not have this cold front turning me into a human popsicle while I was stuck out there. As the air passed over the open box structure, it howled and whistled. It wasn’t fast but it was dense and persistent. The noises it made kind of creeped me out. It was the atmosphere, you know? OH, and the memories of that one time.

I looked to see if there was anything hovering high above me like before. It was just like I remembered it. The walls meant to guard the heart stone hung perfectly still from the platform in the sky. I still didn’t know how or even why it was done that way though.

It was remarkably quiet while I hid inside the east corridor that night. The outer wall was oddly warm to the touch when I leaned against it. It was pleasant and relaxing. I wanted to sleep. I sank to the ground to take the pressure off of my feet and wait for sleep to take me. It was safe to assume that I wouldn’t make it back home unless I went to sleep, so I at least tried to sleep. It wouldn’t be so easy though.

I gradually began to obsess over recent events as I got settled. I didn’t really mean to, I just couldn’t help myself. Things didn’t make sense to me. This girl chased me all school year and when she finally got me, she destroyed the budding relationship. She could have at least avoided making a bigger mess by telling me what she was up to outside of school. Sure, I would have passed on her back then but I wouldn’t be so angry. Maybe we’d be friends even now if she had just been honest with me from the start. I just can’t stand getting played with like that. I’m not a toy, I’m a human being. I have emotions and feelings, I have my own thoughts, and I can make my own decisions. It makes me angry when disrespectful twats play games like that. I try not to give a damn but I still get angry. I got angry even back then.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I felt low, like I wasn’t good or attractive enough for her. I felt inadequate. Was I too short? Was a bad kisser? Did she dislike the way I touched her? Was my pace too slow? I thought most girls our age then wanted to take their time before having sex. What the hell did I do wrong? She didn’t even say anything, she just disappeared and left me alone for what felt like forever! I didn’t do anything to deserve that, did I? I didn’t think I did and I still don’t. Why did she do that to me? WHY?! I TOLD HER that I didn’t want to get into a relationship because I had issues and I knew something like that would happen! I TOLD HER I wouldn’t be good enough for her! I TOLD HER I didn’t have ANYTHING to offer because I was poor and a nuisance and somebody took something from me that I couldn’t get back - that I wasn’t sure I could be a good boyfriend because I wasn’t even sure I could feel that warmth again yet. I TRUSTED HER!!!

Me: [frustrated] GODDAMNIT! If it’s not one thing, it’s another!

The ground and walls had started to rumble and debris fell from high above my head. You don’t really realize how high thirty feet is until you’re looking up at it from the inside. You expect to see a ceiling within jumping distance but you don’t. It’s vertigo triggering. There was debris falling from as high as the tops of the walls. I couldn’t see the walls shaking but I could certainly feel them. There was a deep grinding noise rolling over me like the roar of a large stone rubbing against another just as large. It made me nervous. I wanted to find the source so I could predict what would come next. I scrambled toward the entrance as the corridor began to darken. I noticed the edge of a shadow gliding across the field the structure and I were standing in. I looked up in shock and saw a gigantic slab sliding across the tops of the walls.

Me: [worried] Awwwww SHIT!!!

I tried to make my way out but I wasn’t quick enough. The slab closed the remaining distance and I lost my source of light. I couldn’t see to gauge any distance. I was stuck clumsily stumbling and feeling around in the dark. I was basically sealed inside now.

I made my way over to the inner wall and followed it by touch. I couldn't find the entrance in the exterior wall. It was suddenly gone. I was actually sealed inside now. I made my way back to the rough iron door that led deeper inside and passed through it. I needed to find some sort of light and there was a very faint red glow coming from inside. I had an idea that it was coming from the heart stone, and that was absolutely better than nothing. At least I could somewhat see with it.

The cavernous inner room was almost completely dark with the exception of a pillar of moonlight coming from the new ceiling. There was a small opening in it that let in the light, which shined down on the heart stone. The heart stone seemed to pulsate with some sort of energy and its light warmed the room. I felt comfortable and secure. I took a seat on the ground.

Me: [exhales] I guess I'll be here for a while. I might as well get comfortable.