Sunday, April 16th, Evening

One hour remaining.

The two of us walked out of Cafe Tristan, holding hands. Sirius was incredibly awkward about it, and before I started looping through time, I probably would’ve been, too. But at this point, I had bigger metaphorical fish to fry.

During dinner, I’d gotten a text from Antares. I spotted him lingering on the crosswalk across the street, wearing a pair of freebie sunglasses, the most hipster beanie in the world, and a sick mask. Had he not been a hulking mass of muscle, he absolutely would’ve been mistaken for an otaku stalker of some variety.

[Antares] I see her but she didnt go inside

Shes waiting around outside

Be careful.

I texted back that I would, and relayed the information to Sirius.

He nodded, as his coffee arrived.

“You sure you’re not gonna order anything else?” I asked. I ate a spoonful of chowder.

“Not hungry.” Sirius sipped his coffee. “How can you eat?”

“Keep your strength up,” I said.

“I feel like I’m about to throw up.” All day, Sirius looked as if he were going to be sick. I felt bad for ruining what was supposed to be Anna’s big date, but…

That was another thing. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Anna had been trying to say, dressed as me. Sometimes, she wants… what? She said that I’m always protecting her. She doesn’t want that?

Why wouldn’t she want someone to protect her? That’s what I’ve spent my whole life doing.

Why?

I set it aside. I have more important issues at the moment. I… But I couldn’t shake that bitter taste.

“Lyra,” Sirius said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, shoot.”

“It’s kind of insensitive, though. I mean, it’s the sort of thing that I really shouldn’t be asking, but I’m just… I can’t help but be curious, but—”

“Spit it out,” I said.

He took another long gulp of his coffee. When the waiter asked him if he wanted it with a cream and a sugar, he had muttered yes, without really listening. I know he hates coffee with cream and sugar. But I don’t think he noticed the taste. His fingers wouldn’t stop twitching. I reached over and gripped his hand.

I’ll bet he would prefer if Anna did this, huh?”

“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” On instinct, I blurted out, “I’ll protect you.”

Sirius bit his lip. “Do you say that to Anna a lot?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I do.”

“So I’ve heard…” He pulled his hand away. “Lyra… Anna’s been telling me, recently, that it really bothers her when you say stuff like that. Do you know?”

“W-What?”

“She told me once…” Sirius lowered his voice, “that she feels like she can’t do anything without you coming to her aid and looking over her shoulder. Did you know that?”

Slowly, my head wavered, from side to side.

“I figured.” His eyes trailed off to the side. “I’m a middle child, so I’ve been on both sides of it.”

“Wait, I always thought you were the oldest.”

“I don’t talk a lot about my oldest brother,” he said. Or at all, really. This is the first time I’m hearing about him. “But… when she told me that… it’s like not being able to breathe, I kind of got what she meant.”

I gained a sudden interest in my bowl. “I’m just trying to—”

“—help her. I know. I’ve been on both sides,” he said. “But you need to let her breathe, sometimes,” he said.

I didn’t know what to say.

“Please don’t take this as an accusation or something,” he said. “We’ve been talking about that a lot, recently. I just… thought you should know.”

I wonder why this didn’t come up in the previous loops. Probably because… they were too preoccupied with each other. And because I hadn’t really been paying attention to Anna. What kind of a sister am I? There was a knot in my stomach.

“Sirius…”

But he wasn’t looking at me. He ducked down, and looked in the other direction. “Lyra. Don’t look now, but I see a girl in a hoodie, who keeps looking in our direction, pacing outside.”

“Is she wearing her hair in a side-plait?”

“Yes.”

“That’s Velora,” I said. It was almost 7:30, now. I had to set that aside. I’d talk to Anna about it later. We needed to get a move on, soon. The longer we wait, the more the crowds in the city would thin out, and give her the opening that she would need.

I downed the rest of my soup, and had Sirius flag down a waitress. It would’ve been out of character for ‘Anna’ to do it. “Keep the change,” I whispered, thrusting a twenty and a ten in her hands. I had Sirius lead me out when Velora was the furthest from the entrance to Cafe Tristan.

We booked it to the Astronomy Building.

The stage was set for the final plan. We’d shaken off Velora Navis at some point, but I was sure she would arrive at the Astronomy Building soon.

I stood on the roof of the Astronomy Building, overlooking campus. The sun had set. Millions of lights flickered above and below us. The wind picked up, just a bit. I brushed my hair out of my face and looked over at the members (and former member) of Ireilas standing in front of me.

All but Antares. He’d found a hiding point with a view of the Astronomy Building’s main entrance.

[Antares] Shes here.

Im calling the police.

Okay. Thanks. [Lyra]

Be careful.

[Antares] Thats my line

You too lyra

I set my bag down, and took out my phone and the airsoft pistol. Exchanging one last glance with the members of the band, I shut the door behind me, and stepped down the stairwell.

The sound monitor was where I’d told them to set it up. I plugged the aux cord into the monitor, and into my mic. A power cable was running along the ground into a nearby classroom. Then, I set up my phone, a finger on the flashlight and the Play button, and waited.

If I needed to, I would pretend to fire a gunshot. I didn’t know how convincing the flash of an iPhone camera would be… but I just needed to stall for time.

Come to think of it, I never told Antares or Rigel that the gun wasn’t real. If I did end up firing, I suppose Sirius or Mintaka would explain it to them.

I waited.

Footsteps approached from the stairwell. Distant. Maybe they were on the first floor. I looked to the side. There was a faint green light about a floor below. In the vestiges of its rays, I could make out the sign. 5F to Rooftop.

Footsteps.

I drew the pistol from my pocket and fingered the trigger. I hoped I wouldn’t have to use this.

Actually, I had a bad feeling about something. I wanted to have this card up my sleeve in case it came down to it. If I was right… I really, really, need to refrain from using this.

Footsteps. Closer, now. Judging from the shadow of a girl, running up the stairs. She was either on the third or fourth floor.

I backed up a bit.

Footsteps. Louder, now. Echoing louder.

I traced the hammer of the gun with my thumb. It felt good to hold onto it, though. Should I let her know from the start that I have one?

No. That’s no way to negotiate with someone.

Footsteps! Footsteps! The sound of running shoes, rapping against metal stairs. The waves bounced like pinballs against the enclosed space of the stairwell.

I shoved the gun into my sweater pocket, hoping that it wouldn’t show through.

And the footsteps stopped. She came face to face with me. A girl in a hoodie, with her hair pulled into a side plait.

I recognized those eyes. Her knife was already drawn.

Velora Navis.

“You… Anna.”

Here goes nothing. “You’ve been following me around all day.”

She raised an eyebrow. “So you can talk. You tricked me.”

“I tricked you?”

“Did you trick my Sirius in the same way you tricked me? Lying to everyone, you thief?” Velora pointed the knife at me. “Huh?”

“I have tricked you,” I said, “But not in the way you might think.” I pulled away the scarf covering my neck, chin, and the mole on my chin. I let it tangle from my hand.

She narrowed her eyes, struggling to see it against the dim green light. “You’re not… Where is she?” Velora demanded. “I’ll kill you!”

She charged, but I drew the pistol and pointed it. “Don’t move. I will shoot you.” Okay. This was already not going well. I needed to get through to her. But how? “Velora.”

“You know my name?”

“I do. You know ours, so I think it’s only fair.”

“You, fair? Shut up.”

“Velora, please,” I said. “Put down the knife, and I’ll put down the gun. I just want to talk to you.”

“Tell me where Anna is! And where Sirius is! I saw him come up here with you!”

“Sirius is on the roof,” I said. “And the door is locked. Even if you kill me, you won’t be able to get to him.” This was a lie. We had no way of locking the door, but Velora didn’t need to know that. “And if you kill me, the police will get you. There’s only one route down, and Antares is blocking your path. Even with a knife, do you think you can take him?”

Her voice was cold steel. “I don’t care. I just want my Sirius.”

Okay, trying to threaten her was a bad idea. I held up the gun, and lowered it slowly, to the ground. Draping the scarf over my shoulder, I held up both hands to show that they were empty. “Please, I just want to talk to you.”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“I like Sirius too,” I said.

Velora didn’t move.

“But it seems… he doesn’t like me back.”

She spat. “Like.”

“I love Sirius,” I said. ““Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love.”

Her eyes widened. Her knife hand lowered, just a bit.

“Velora, I get it. I really do. I like Sirius, just like you.”

“You don’t… you don’t get it at all…”

“And I… I almost… I almost killed someone, because I love him. I get where you’re coming from.”

“What do you know about me?” Her voice echoed in the corridor. “Do you know what my Sirius is to me?”

I paused. “I don’t. But I do know that you’re one of our oldest fans. You’ve been with us since the very beginning, haven’t you?”

No reply.

“Velora… why don’t you tell me, then, what Sirius means to you?”

The knife hand was dangling by her side, now. Distracting her from wanting to kill me… it was working. I didn’t know how long I could keep this up, but… it was working, for now.

She broke into a long speech, barely stopping to breathe. About how she’d been popular in high school, but couldn’t find a circle in college. But then, she’d discovered our band. Our first performance, at the start of the semester. I remembered that performance, too. That feeling… it had been special to her.

I was only half listening. As cold as it was, I’d heard a similar sentiment from other fans, too. Sirius’s voice had something about it, that filled people with that wonder. It was something that Rigel tried, so desperately, to grasp. Perhaps in a few years…

But not now.

I stepped closer and closer to her as she talked. She was crying. Perhaps if I’d been listening closely to her story, I would be thinking of crying too, but I kept one eye trained on her knife.

“And now I’ve lost him…” she wailed. “I just…”

“I know, I know,” I said. “I know how you feel. You might not want to hear it from me now, but there will be someone else out there for you. But if you do this now, you’ll throw that away.”

“There’s no one!”

“There is.” I looked her right in the eye, and put on my best reassuring voice. “There is, Velora. Believe in me.”

“Believe in you..."

I pulled her into a hug, throwing my right arm around her, patting her. “There is.” And with my left hand, I tugged at the scarf draped loosely at my shoulder, and slowly, slowly, as I caressed her head, and pulled it into my chest, I draped layer, after layer, of the scarf, around her knife.

I had been planning on wrapping it in cloth, so that even if she did try anything, her weapon would just be a balled up scarf. But it seemed I didn’t need to. The handle had been held so loosely that the added weight of the scarf pulled the knife from her hands. It slid down the steps, fell under the railing, and continued to fall. I could hear its clatter as it went further and further down the corridor.

With both hands, I pulled Velora into a hug.

“Y-You’re crying…” she whispered.

Velora let go of me for a moment. I realized what had happened. I’d done it.

I’d disarmed her. And she wasn’t going to kill Sirius anymore.

Oh my god. I did it.

“Y-Yeah… because… I love Sirius too.” I put on my best smile. “I guess… we’re two of a kind, huh?”

I hugged her. Pulled her in close. Grasped her. I did it. I saved Sirius and Anna. I saved them.

I really did it.

She wanted to kill my sister. She wanted to kill Sirius. Because of some form of maligned love. I didn’t really even know. Why did she want to kill Sirius? Did she ever talk about that? I don’t know. I hadn’t been listening.

But there would be time to hear her out later. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be friends with someone like her, but…

I was feeling sympathetic right now. I could at least hear her out.

I did it!

And then a piercing scream cut through the air. From the other side of the door.

The door burst open. Anna threw her hand against the wall, feeling frantically for a light. “L-L-L-Lyra! L-LYRAAA!”

I turned. “Anna?”

The lights turned on. She was wearing my blazer. And my blazer…

It was covered in blood.

“Oh my god. Anna? Anna!”

I was paralyzed. But how? The knife… it had gone downstairs! There was no knife! And Velora Navis was right here! She… I was… I was holding onto her.

I’d done it! But how?

“I-It’s Sirius… he’s…”

“My Sirius?”

“Sirius…” There were no tears in Anna's clothing. It wasn't her blood.

As I looked up at the door frame, I saw a form back up, past Anna. There was a knife sticking from his chest. The face turned. I would recognize it anywhere.

Sirius had been stabbed.

My body… move, dammit, move! No… No… no… no, no, no, no! This can’t be! I felt like I was choking.

No, no, no!

“Out of my way!”

A hand was on my shoulder. She pushed me aside, and used me to pull herself up. Velora Navis jumped up the stairs, into a sprint.

She pulled herself up, and pushed me down. Down, down, down, the stairwell, to the side. Off the railing.

I fell.

I fell. And then I hit the ground.

Sunday, April 16th, Early Morning

I woke up with a start. Sirius had been stabbed, again. And I…

I must’ve died. I must’ve hit my head. I pulled out my phone and checked the Redshift.

4 uses remaining.

I died. I definitely died.

Oh my god. I sat up. Get it together, Lyra. Oh my god… I stood, and lumbered towards the door.

With both hands, I managed to slap myself. That woke me up. Get it together, Lyra.

I haven’t done it. There’s something that I’m missing.

What remained of my brain function realized that Sirius was about to come through that door. And if I couldn’t convince him… then I’d be back to square one.

No… I refuse… I refuse!

I threw the door open and bolted down the hall, and collided with Sirius.

“Ow!” He fell back, and I fell on top of him. “Lyra! What are you doing up here so early?”

“Guten Morgen, Sirius,” I said. His eyes widened. Bingo. “Let’s go…” I was panting, heaving. I couldn’t breathe. “Let’s go to the clubroom. I need you to just listen to me, it’s life and death.”

Something was starting to click.

I think I know what’s going on.