The next day I arrived at my first lesson tired, but not exhausted. I had finished twenty more stones before my fingers started to tremble with fatigue. It was enough to force a halt for the night, due to the sensitivity of the engraver. I planned to finish at least twenty more tonight so I could get my hands on those Rune instructions in time for the Guild to be distracted by a week of Ball celebrations. It would be ideal for avoiding as much attention as possible.

Nerves fluttered in my stomach as I tried to convince myself I wouldn’t be caught. Rune instructions were a jealously guarded secret in all Guilds; nothing would stop me from being kicked out if I was caught with a stack of them. I just had to remain cautious, and not let myself get swept away by the temptation of learning new skills. If I kept my head down like usual, nobody should even notice me.

“Sierra Rivergold.” The Guildmaster’s voice boomed from the front of the class.

My head jerked up to find Rin standing next to my instructor. What now?

“Yes, Guildmaster?”

“Gather your things. You are excused from the rest of your day’s lessons.” He gestured to the prim boy beside him. “Please accompany Rin Dezinson in his duties and be sure to adhere to his instructions.”

“Of course, Guildmaster.”

I followed Rin out into the hallway and, even though he’d called me out here, he was ignoring me to shuffle through papers instead. I glared at his back.

“So, Rin Dezinson,” he flinched at the use of his full name, like I knew he would. “How may I be of assistance?”

He turned stiffly, not quite masking his frown. A powerful flash of irritation ran through me, and I realised his beautiful face was starting to lose its charm after his betrayal. Especially as he had no idea what would happen to me if I were sent home in disgrace, and hadn’t bothered to ask.

“Please refrain from using that name.” His eyes returned to the documents, but I could tell he wasn’t reading them. His voice was low when he spoke next. “That man is not worthy of having children.”

You should know the burn of a family’s name branding you, Si.

“Rin…sorry.” If we had to work together today, it would be easier if I remembered my manners. Teek’s small but sincere face came to mind, and I smiled. Thinking of the boy’s requirements for forgiveness, I held my hand out to Rin. “Truce?”

His body seemed to lose its rigidity for a moment, and he took the hand that was offered. “I’d like that. I’m glad they allowed you to stay in the Guild.”

No thanks to you.

I forced myself to move on, pushing more feelings to the corner of my mind.

“Me too,” we shook three times. “That was uncalled for on my part. I understand not wanting to be associated with your father’s name.”

I regretted saying it immediately. I wasn’t free of my family yet, and implying that I didn’t want to be associated with my father, in front of someone who had already reported my “inappropriate” behaviour once, was truly careless.

Rin scoffed.

“Your father is a respectable and influential member of the nobility. He provides and cares for you. Mine couldn’t even comprehend loyalty to his own family.” He halted and took a breath, his fingers releasing the documents they had begun to clench and crease. When he spoke again, his tone had changed from one of rebuke, to tolerance. “I appreciate the sentiment, Sierra, but there is nothing for you father to be ashamed of.”

Not if you’re looking while the doors are open.

Unconsciously, my fingers reached up to stroke the patch of smooth skin where my hair should be, neatly hidden beneath dark layers cascading from above. I don’t want him to come here. My mouth went dry and my heart sped up, sensing the memories close to the surface. I don’t want him to-

“Sierra?” Rin’s hand was on my shoulder, genuine concern in his eyes. My hand snapped back to my side.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” I stepped out of his touch. “Why am I here anyway?”

“Kixi is worried about you.” He stated. “Seeing as you just zoned out from exhaustion, I think her concern is justified.”

“Are you serious? That’s why you pulled me out of classes?” I spun around. “I’m going back.”

“Sierra, wait.” He pulled out his big brother voice. “While I do have some authority as Guildmistress Ada’s assistant, that doesn’t include taking students from classes just to chat. I was asked to choose an assistant for an important Guild task.”

I stopped and swung back around, arms crossed.

“Then hurry up and tell me what it is.” There was no way I was sharing anything personal with Rin. He’d already proven I couldn’t trust him. “Let’s keep this Guild related.”

He sighed.

“Will you at least promise to talk to her? You’ve really upset her.” Guilt twisted my stomach. “She said you haven’t been returning to your room until late, and haven’t been to the workshop either. I shouldn’t have to remind you that there’s a curfew for students.”

Anger surged to override the guilt.

“Oh, I suppose you’ll report me for that too.” I spat.

“If it continues, as someone concerned for your safety,” his stern gaze came down on me, “then yes. I will.”

“Then you don’t know anything about loyalty either, Dezinson.”

I saw the agony in his eyes. I didn’t care. He was just like everyone else, dictating what was best for me. Using my own wellbeing as the excuse for their actions. I was barely resisting the urge to scream about what methods my family used to keep me on the path of what was best.

He’s coming to the Guild.

My skin began to itch like ants crawling all over my body. The sensation began to take over my existence. If I started scratching, it wouldn’t end.

“Sierra?” A voice echoed from far away and I stumbled back from it.

I couldn’t breathe. Frantically I pulled at the necklace hanging beside my ID tags, fumbling with the catch that would release the emerald inside. As soon as I felt it drop into my palm, my desperate fingers sought the Rune on the back. Heal.

“Sierra?” I curled away from the voice, wrapped around the stone.

I poured magic into it.This can fix it. This can take the pain. You made the Healstone for this. Whatever happens, whatever breaks. You have the power to fix it now.

“Sierra!” The voice was closer now. Clearer. I was starting to become aware that I was still breathing.

You have the power for this now Si. Use it. The power to put yourself back together.

The itching began to fade.

You are in control.

My vision focused and I realised I was on the floor, Rin crouched over me, face flooded with terror.

“Sierra?” he whispered, as my body began to uncurl.

“Move back, please.” I wasn’t sure if I was loud enough, but he moved away, eyes scanning the hallway.

I took my time to breathe again, tucking the Healstone back into the clasp so it looked like an ornament once again. I stood on shaky legs, one hand braced against the wall.

“Sierra are you-“

“I’m fine.”

Tuck the emotions back in the box. Take control.

I straightened and met Rin’s bewildered eyes.

“I’m fine.” I repeated, though who I was talking to I wasn’t sure.

Back on task. No more weakness.

“I heard you. I will speak to Kixi.” I heard the monotone in my voice, but couldn’t manage anything more. “What is the Guild task?”

“Sierra, you don’t have to. I think it would be best if you-“

“Rin. Tell me what the task is.”

He nodded and straightened his papers. Maybe he was finally realised he wasn’t the only person in the world with problems.

“Do you want to talk about whatever…that…was?”

“No.”

I walked over to him, only my weaker right ankle still wobbling.

“Show me the task.”

I saw the moment he finally switched back into Guildmistress Ada’s assistant. Good. I needed to move on from this. Work would help.

“I have lists here of a section of the students currently attending the Guild.” I nodded and he continued, confidence returning. “In preparation for the Ball, we are one of a few teams tasked with ensuring all students are wearing fully functional ID tags.”

At least we had this in common. We could both pour all our energy into work, so that nothing was left to feel. We could make everything about the job.

“Does that mean we’ll have to charge them too?”

“Yes. Have you been through the process of charging Bloodstones before?”

“I’ve only had it done for me, but it seems simple enough.” I fished out my ID tag from around my neck. “Show me now on mine?”

“I will, but let’s go into an empty room. I need space for the equipment.”

Rin led me into a deserted classroom, and I felt some of my tension ease as I left the hallway. He spread a few items on the table and pointed to each one.

“Needle, candle, flame stick, etcher, cloth. Put your ID tag down here, with the Bloodstone Rune facing up.”

I complied.

“Start by lighting the candle. We’ll just need to do this each time we move.”

I etched an Ignite Rune into the end of the flame stick and watched it flare up, using it to light the candle.

“Now burn the old blood off the needle, and prick your thumb.”

I watched blood well from the tiny wound.

“Now place the fingers of your other hand on these two Runes on the metal part of your ID tag, next to the Bloodstone. Small power only.”

I nodded and the Runes flared to life under my touch.

“Alright, now you can add your blood to the stone. Make sure the blood touches the Blood Rune on the stone, or it won’t soak properly.”

Pressing my thumb to the Bloodstone, it was actually fascinating to see my blood absorbed into the gem, changing the stone from a wispy red to a near black.

“When you see blood pooling in the Rune instead of being absorbed, you can stop. That indicates it is full.” He pointed to the sheets of paper. “Find their name on the list and tick them off as having a fully charged Bloodstone. The cloth is for wiping the needle. Students can deal with their own pricked thumbs.”

I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. The work would be enough, but I appreciated that he was letting me choose how to cope, instead of forcing me to the Guild medics.

“I don’t mind the work.” I said. “But is there a really a point to doing this when at least half the door sensors don’t even register Bloodstone movement anymore?”

“Shhh!” He laughed, maybe out of relief that I seemed to be functioning again. “Don’t let any of the Guildmasters hear you say that. With other Guilds visiting for the Ball, they want everything up to standard, even though we’re one of the oldest Guilds with the least advanced buildings.”

“Of course. We must keep up appearances.” I knew all about that.

“I think they might be working on the sensors in the entranceways too, so the ID tags may not be as useless as they have been for monitoring student movements.” He looked at me pointedly. “Perhaps something you should keep in mind.”

“Yes, big brother.”

He rolled his eyes and packed up the materials.

“I’m just trying to do what’s right.” He sighed. “Now, let’s get this done. The closest class is the Second Year one I took you out of, so we may as well start with them.”

I took the kit and paper he handed to me, and we spent the rest of the day immersed in repetitive, reliable work.

Even after hours of slave work to the Guild, I was still determined to work towards the fifty Runestones that would get me those new Rune instructions. However, by the time I staggered up the stairs at Rosie’s, I had accepted the fact that I wouldn’t be finishing off another twenty stones that night. My body was in desperate need of rest, both mental and physical, and all my reserves were nearly depleted. I could also really use one of Kixi’s incredible meals.

I had compromised, and my target for the evening was five stones. Still a far cry from twenty, but with my hands already close to shaking, it was probably more than I could handle. So it was pure unexpected joy that filled me when I lifted the floorboard for the kit and saw that Agate had left the Rune instructions there anyway, even though he’d only taken twenty stones in return. I almost cried.

It was like a sign from the universe giving me permission to go home. Maybe I would be able to apologise to Kixi tonight for not being there. Maybe the universe only likes to pretend it’s being nice, before it deals the death blow, because it was at that moment the door to the room burst open to reveal Kixi in full fury. She pointed a wrathful finger at me as soon as we locked eyes.

“You. Will. Explain.”