I rubbed at the dark circles under my eyes, and sighed softly.

I didn’t want to go to school. But I had to.

Will Austin be there today? I thought to myself as I got out of the shower and slipped my clothes back on. Charlie knocked softly on the door, and I let her in.

She silently lifted my shirt and ran her hand gently down the scars that dad had left. She sighed, and stepped away. “You okay? Do they still hurt?”

I shook my head, looking down. I didn’t want her to worry. She had enough to worry about.

Charlie suddenly lunged forward and embraced me tightly, as if this was the last time I’d see her. “I love you, Reeve. And I believe that we’ll get out of this one day. I just know it.”

I smiled at her and held her at arm's length. She looked just like mom.

I stepped out of the bathroom so she could get ready. I walked down the stairs slowly, cringing at every creak the stairs made. Dad was probably still asleep, as he would stay all afternoon. He had drank a lot yesterday night.

As I put a piece of bread in the toaster, I thought about something. Do we have a bus? I mean, me and Charlie walked to school yesterday.

I shook my head. We’d probably be walking to school again. And probably for the rest of the school year.

I jumped as my toast popped up. I grabbed it and poured myself a glass of milk, downing my medicine along with it.

I coughed, and went over to my oxygen tank that stood in the corner of the living room.. The constricting in my throat had gotten worse.

I grabbed the tube and shoved it up my nose, and turned the valve to the on position. There was a low hissing from the green tank, but I didn’t worry.

I took a deep breath in, and the oxygen flew past the barrier in my throat, and I sighed in relief. I didn’t want to have an incident at school.

Speaking of school, I reminded myself not to talk at all. A couple times in some classes, I had wanted to raise my hand and tell the answer, but I was dumb. I couldn’t talk.

I was suddenly overcome with such strong emotion, that I sank down onto the kitchen floor and drew my knees up to my chest. Quiet, unwilling sobs racked my body.

Why was I like this? Why do I have a stutter? Why does dad do this to us? Why did mom leave us? Why can’t we run away? WHY US?

Charlie stepped into the kitchen, and saw my pathetic form curled up against the wall. She hurried to me, and sat beside me. She hugged me.

“Shh, It’s okay, Reeve. It’s okay. No need to cry, it’s alright. Shh,”

I sobbed into her shoulder. “It hurts. It hurts so much. I can’t do this anymore.”

Charlie pulled back. “Hey. Don’t talk like that. You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, I promise. It’s alright. You can’t leave me to face this alone,”

It was as if a dam of tears broke inside me. I cried, sobbed, wailed. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything right now.

Looking back, I would have to say that this was probably the one day where I slipped off my mask. I had never cried like this. I had never spoken like this. I had always bottled up these feelings inside me. And now, I was letting them out. The dam had finally burst.

I held tight to Charlie, as if I was a ship and she was the anchor in a raging storm. Lightning kept striking me, but I still wouldn’t break. But cracks had started to form along the side of the hull, and I couldn’t keep throwing water out of the ship with a tiny bucket.

I cried, and Charlie held me. “Shh, It’s alright. It’s okay, everything will be okay. We’ll get through this, I promise,”

“I can’t hold on, Charlie,” I whispered in between sobs. “It hurts so much. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Shh, Reeve. Please don’t talk like that. It’ll be okay, I promise.” Charlie rubbed my head, and I curled up against her.

“I’m broken,” I started to hyperventilate. A small voice somewhere inside my head started to say that I had to calm down, that I had to breathe, but I was too far into a state of depression. And I couldn’t listen to common sense.

“I hate it!” I suddenly shouted, surprising Charlie and myself. “Why does he do this to us? Why did mom have to leave! Why do I stutter? Why does he hurt us? What did we do to deserve this! I hate it! I hate it all!”

Charlie was crying now. “Reeve, please. You’ll wake up dad. It’s okay to be angry. Shh, it’s alright. It’s okay. Please stop crying. It’ll be okay,”

I buried my face into Charlie’s chest, which helped to muffle my sobs. She made soothing noises, and patted my back like mom used to do.

“Why does he do this to us?” I shouted. “Why does he hate us! Why did mom abandon us?” Then I suddenly broke free of the angry feelings that had started to consume my mind, and stopped screaming and sobbed.

“We’re broken, aren’t we? He’s broken us. He’s never going to stop,” I stared ahead, seeing nothing. My chest heaved in and out, desperate to receive air.

“Shh, Reeve, stop talking,” Charlie said firmly. “You’re having an attack. It’s alright. You need to breathe.”

But it wasn’t alright.

It never would be.