It- it was completely normal to be nervous on your first day of high school, wasn't it? Or were the tremors forcing them to shake every few seconds entirely unnatural, and not what every other Year Seven starting at their school would be feeling at this exact moment in time? Everything felt too real - not in a fantasy vs. reality way, but in a being way too aware of your own existence way. Everything felt too close. Uncomfortable was too weak a word to describe it - it was more like feeling outside of their own skin, even as they knew they were themself and acting by their own will-

they were rambling. They needed to be in school in - what was it, an hour now? It took about half an hour to walk, and they knew exactly no one who would be in their new year, so perhaps they could try introducing themself to their new… could they call them ‘friends’, already? No, they were just… just acquaintances, for now. People were complicated. The world would be so much easier to handle if they could just get rid of everyone.

No, that was called genocide, and that wasn’t socially acceptable. They’d have to try and deal with everyone, for now. It was only five years of their life. After those five years, they would be free, to- well, they didn’t exactly know what they were doing after high school, or with the rest of their life, to be honest, but they’d find something to do, and it wouldn’t involve people. People could all go and… go and… they wanted to say die, but, again, that wasn’t socially acceptable, and if they wanted to make any acquaintances, and keep them, they’d have to get out of the habit of citing death as a response to every small inconvenience in life.

Pulling themself up off the plain duvet, tucked neatly into the mattress, they wandered over to the mirror hanging on their cream-painted wall, sparing a glance at the reflection which they’d been practically staring at since the dead hours of the morning. It looked fine. They looked fine. Their fingers found the lapels of their too-large royal-blue blazer, brushing against the material where, in the future, they could only imagine, badges of all sorts would be placed, replaced and removed. That was the fun of high school, after all - the ‘fun’ - earning achievements which could be displayed on their person proudly.

Or, they could get them bullied for all eternity within the ‘safe’ walls of their new high school. To be honest, they didn’t know, and they couldn’t decide whether to believe the horror stories passed around primary school or the garish educational posters and pamphlets, with cheesy logos and pleasantries meant to comfort the worried Year Sixes about their transition to high school. It… it was all too much to think about.

They just needed to find their bag, wherever that had gone, and get out of the door at some point in the next half hour. Then, they’d be safe. No, not safe - they still had to deal with their first day at high school, and all the turmoil which came along with it, but they’d be relatively okay, and that was enough, for now.