I wake up the next morning at 7:30 just thirty minutes before I meant to. I don’t know what to do now that I’m out of school, and I obviously can’t work. I’ve been sleeping later and later just to see how many hours in my day I can sell away.
I get out of bed, and get dressed fitting myself into my corset and a dress. The cloth is worn to a soft texture, and I love the feel of it. It falls around me hanging loosely on my body, and I adjust it as need be. It’s at this point that I always begin to wonder why I insist on keeping my hair so dreadfully long. It’s a hassle to pin up every day in a way that it stays put and looks beautiful.
Maybe I should cut my hair. I think as I stare at the pile of pins on my dresser. I eye the money on my dresser and sigh. I can’t use it, can I? He did give it to me… no! It’s wrong I can’t accept that then he will think that money will solve every problem we have. Is that a horrible thing though? I’m not his mother. I shouldn’t have to teach him the right ways to apologize.
I begin to pace back and forth in my room trying to decide. Its money. Money is money. I would be a fool not to take that money when he so readily threw it at me. I doubt he would even take it if I did try to give it back to him.
“No!” I say snatching up the money and the card from my dresser and storming out of my room. I’m sticking to my morals here. If I lose my moral I lose everything.
I get to the foot of the stairs and hesitate at the bottom. He said I should never come up to the second floor.
“To hell with his rules!” I say storming up the stairs, becoming very aware of the awful state he’s going to see me in, but my nerve carries my all the way up the stairs and down the hall to the only door that’s open in the house.
“Ralph! I want to give-Oh my god!” I scream as I walk into his room and see him laying naked with a woman in his bed.
“Who the hell are you?!” The woman asks me covering herself up.
“I’m-I’m-“I look at Ralph and he gives me the deadliest stare I’ve ever seen. “I’m leaving.” I say and run down the hall and down the stairs.
“Wait!” I hear the blonde haired woman cry behind me as I stumble down the stairs thankful suddenly that I didn’t put on my shoes yet.
“Stop!” I hear a light voice shout as I try to turn the corner to go to my room.
I stop and turn around to see her standing there in her night slip, her blonde hair a disheveled mess. She’s beautiful despite the smeared mascara staining the bottom of her eyes. I just can’t stop imagining her in bed with him. She was in the house, and I didn’t know.
“What?” I ask her and she looks over at the stairs. She looks back at me and smiles awkwardly hugging her arm to her side.
“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know anyone else lived here. Are you his sister or something?” she asks fluffing her hair and rapping her pink robe tighter around her chest.
“That depends. What are you?” I say. I sound harsher than I mean to, and I don’t know why. I clutch his money in my hand. Money is more trouble than its worth.
“Well um…I’m no one special. Just a friend.” She says smiling again and looking down at the tile floor.
“I see you’re close.” I say and we stare at each other. I can see her eyes roaming my body settling on my hair again and again.
“I love your hair. Its so long and beautiful.” She says taking a step closer to me. I stand my ground, but I can’t imagine why I feel so defensive around her.
“I was going to chop it off today. I’m sick of it.” I say throwing every ounce of attitude my father would scold me about into the words.
“Are you his…um his fiancée?” she asks coming another step closer to me.
“Yes.” I say puffing out my chest and holding my chin high. If she wants to judge me for whatever he’s told her she can. I’m not the one standing in someone else’s house half naked talking to a stranger.
“I’m sorry. He invited me over late last night. He didn’t tell me you lived here.” She says looking at the ground again.
“That’s because it’s none of your business." We turn to see Ralph descending the stairs, clothed in pajamas. Our eyes lock in a dead stare, and when the woman notices she starts hanging off of him trying to flirt him out of a fight with me. “Just like the upstairs is not your business.” He says standing a foot away from me.
“You wanted it to be my business.” I whisper to him glaring all the hate I have into his eyes. I was right about everything. He just wanted me to take up her spot in his bed. An at home whore.
“No. No, man would dare take such a sorry excuse for a woman.” He says and I feel my cheeks redden with anger.
“I’m more of a woman than you can ever hope to have, for the simple fact that I would never keep your bed.” I say.
We stare at each other daring one another to look away, to break the stare. I’m not afraid of him, and he isn’t afraid of me. The question is; who is more of a fool?
“I want you out of this house for today.” He says turning and walking away.
“Gladly! I wouldn’t dream of staying here another moment.” I turn to the girl who looks terrified, “And you! Don’t throw his back out. Can’t you see how old he is!” she stares at me, and I see tears form in her eyes. I cant bring myself to care.
“Get out, Ruth.” He says from atop the stairs in a warning tone.
“After all you can only swing the trash bag so much before it tears!” I yell.
“Get out!” He shouts back, but I’m already on my way to my room to get what I can and leave.
How dare he take me for such a fool? All he wanted was for me to sleep with him! Men! The only ones I can trust is my father and Frank the ice cream man!
I feel my eyes tearing up from the anger I feel. At myself. At him. At my father who put me in this house to play wife. I open my hand and I see the crumpled up dollars in my hand soaked with sweat and hate. I kissed that man. I kissed him and when he didn't get any more than that he went and called some floozy to give him what he wanted.
"Manipulative piece of shit!" I shout as loud as I can. Let it burn through the roof. let the world know that Ralph Peterson is garbage!
I finish throwing things into an over night bag when I hear a knock on my door. What is it?! more money?! An early eviction? Is he calling off the "wedding"? God fore bid that happen!
“Hello?” I hear a faint voice say from the other side of the door. I can’t believe she would even walk over here. What makes her think she can talk to me?
“What?” I yell as I put my hair up into a bun on the top of my head. I will get my hair cut, and I’ll do it with his money. There’s no reply, and I think she’s gone, but when I open the door I almost jump when I see her there.
“Can I use your shower?” She asks me and I scowl at her.
“How much did he pay you?” I ask and she looks at me startled, and then her eyes narrow at me.
“Listen, I know you don’t like me, but I also know there is nothing for you to be mad at me about. There isn’t any love between you. I have every right to make my money as I please.” She says crossing her arms over her chest.
I suppose she’s right. I don’t have any right to be angry with her after all he isn’t my actual husband. Why am I mad? Why am I shocked?
“I’m sorry. He’s just-he’s not the nice man he seems to be.” I say putting my forehead to the door.
“I don’t need you to tell me that. Trust me I know.” She says rubbing her side.
“What did he do?” I ask and she smiles at me sadly.
“He’s just a bit too rough. He likes me when I’m in pain. I got good at pretending, so he’s a little softer sometimes. He’s still the nicest of my clients though, so I appreciate him. Doesn't try to scam me. Never yells at me. Even kisses me goodnight when I leave.” She says and my stomach flips. I’ve never taken a relationship so far. Are all men like that? I’ve never spoken with a woman like her either.
We look at each other for a long moment. Two girls caught in the web of a man that we can’t seem to escape. I look at her clothes in her arms and her disheveled looking clothes. I sigh and motion for her to enter my room.
She walks in happily, biting her lip, and ducking her head in apology. She walks to the restroom door when I point it out to her taking her time to stare at my belongings as she goes.
“Why my room? There are other bathrooms in this house.” I say while showing her wear everything is in the bathroom.
“I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t want him to try to get in the shower with me. Every reason works whatever one you want to take is up to you.” She says flourishing her hands dramatically.
“Well I’ll be leaving then.” I say and she grabs my arm
“No! Please I want to know you more.” She says. I pull my hand away and laugh.
“Why?” I say and she slumps onto the edge of the tub.
“It’s so hard to make friends when you’re a woman like me. Everyone is out to get you and other girls just think they’re better than you. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had girl friends?!” She say and I can’t help but feel bad. I can’t imagine not having anyone to go to. What do people with no Anna in their life do?
“I’m going to get my haircut. Maybe you can show me a nice place to do that.” I say and I walk out without looking to see her reaction.
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