We were getting to the point in life where my friends asked if I needed help with money. My clothes weren’t shabby but they weren’t new either. We couldn’t afford the new dresses that were being made and taking up place everywhere, not when my father was out of work due to his legs not working properly, and mother drinking herself to death two years ago.

“Ruthy, could you help me with my shoes?” my father called in his hushed voice from his room.

“I’m coming.” I say after placing one last pin in my hair and walk into his room. The smell of cigarette and whisky has been burned into the walls and the carpets, and it hits me as soon as I enter. I stoop down and help my father fit his feet into his socks and his shoes on over those.

“I could just get a job.” I say as I stand to get his cane.

“I’ll have no daughter of mine working. I already told you this before didn’t I? I can’t give you the life you want any more, Ruthy. The least I can do is hand you off to another man. One that I know has got the money and the means to give you everything you deserve.”

“I could do that for myself.” I say under my breath though I know it’s not true. I know all too well of the benefits having a husband can provide to me and my father.

“What was that?” he asks in a warning tone. I don’t need another linen shop incident right now so I shake my head and help him out to door.

“Nothing. Are we taking the bus?” I ask sliding my hat onto my head.

“Yes.” He says sadly, “We’re going to an old friend’s house.”

When we arrive at the house I wonder if my father has the wrong location. He said we were going to meet an old friend. I stare up at the beautiful two story house.

“Dad I don’t remember ever being here before.” I say adjusting my skirt after I help him out of the car.

“This is a friend of mine you’ve never met. Now, he passed away not too long ago, but he said if I ever needed anything I could go to his son.” He says looping his arm around mine.

We walk up to the big front gates and press a button on the gate like a doorbell. A tan man in a beige suit come striding out to meet us. He looks to be about 5 years older than me.

“Yes, how may I help you?” he asks us and my father smiles.

“Are you Ralph Peterson by any chance?” Dad asks in his kindest voice.

“Yes, I am. Who might you be?” The young man asks my father taking glances at me any chance he gets.

“I’m Harold Walker your father and I used to be good pals in school and in the military.” The man’s eyes widen with recognition.

“Of course. Of course. I’ve heard so much about you. Excuse my hesitant nature you can never be too safe.” He chuckles unlocking his gate and ushering us in.

“Not at all.” He smiles at me and I smile back. I suppose he doesn’t seem like an awful person to spend my life with, that is, if he agrees to marry me. He shakes hands with my father and leads us into his house.

We sit together in his elegant little living room and my father politely refuses drinks.

“Would you like anything miss?” Ralph asks me and I lift my hand to wave him away.

“No, thank you. My name is, Ruth, by the way.” He smiles slightly and then holds out his hand for me to shake.

“A pleasure to meet you.” He says.

I shake his hand and he sits across from my father and me. This is so strange.

“Now, I won’t beat around the bush, Ralph. I didn’t come here for afternoon tea. I came here because your father promised me that, no matter what, I could come to him for anything. Anything at all.” He takes a shuddering breath and Ralph looks at us both shifting uncomfortably.

“I need you to marry my daughter.” My father says softly tugging my hand into his lap.

“Sir?” Ralph asks and I avoid eye contact only looking down at my hand in my fathers.

“I’m an old man. I can’t even work the same way I used to. I want her to be well taken care of. Please, marry my daughter.” My father says and I’ve never heard him sound so desperate. It makes me sick. I could get a job. I could! I’d be damn good at it too, but he won’t hear any of it.

“I’m honored that you would trust me with Ruth, Sir, but what will you do without her?” He asks looking at me apologetically.

He thinks I want this?! I’ve wanted nothing less in my entire life! He has the nerve to look at me like I’m a pathetic school girl with a crush? My father looks at me and my throat tightens.

“You don’t have to worry about me, son. This girl, she’s strong and smart and beautiful. I’d be selfish to keep her all to myself over some rusty legs.” I feel tears well up in my eyes despite myself.

I can stay with you Dad! There’s no man in this world who I’d rather be with than you! But we’ve already had this conversation and I know that there is no winning against this stubborn man. So, I smile kindly at Ralph Peterson, and hold out my gloved hand for him to take.

What happened to the butterflies? He looks at me and smiles at me and my father. What happened to being happy to get married? He reaches out and takes my hand and my father audibly sighs. What happened to love?