Do you ever look back, and realize that there was a single moment where everything changed? A single moment that determined everything that has come after?
This is Nimue's Bar.
In the moments before she and Marie are swallowed by the mass of mouths and eyes that is apparently called Pete, a lot of thoughts go through Kaia's mind. Most of them involve Nimue saying, “I told you this was a bad idea.”
Then all at once, she and Marie are no longer in the church. Instead of the dingy must and darkness of the building, the air is fresh, and stars sparkle in the sky above. Odd, Kaia thinks. She hasn't seen stars like this in years, since there was a school trip out to the country. Not to mention that in the Grotto, fresh air is in rather short supply.
Then Kaia looks down at her feet and screams. Grass, long and green, grows around her ankles. The two of them are surrounded by countless trees, and in the distance is what looks like a prairie, lit by the light of the gibbous moon. She hasn't seen anything like this since before she came to the Grotto. It's somehow terrifying.
“What do you think?” Marie says expectantly.
“I think I'm freaking out,” Kaia responds, her throat tight. “What happened? Where the hell are we?”
Marie pulls her hat down more tightly over her ears. “K, we're outside of the Grotto.” Kaia reels. That's impossible. No one can escape the Grotto. Even if someone could get outside, Lorelai's call would draw them back in as soon as they heard it. “Pete's body is a portal, and for a small fee he lets me use it.”
“You thought I would like to see this?” K bursts out angrily. She can still barely comprehend what has happened. They are outside the grotto. This should be impossible.
“I have something I wanted to tell you, K,” Marie says, before Kaia can continue her rant. “I'm a witch.”
Kaia's heart tumbles. She never expected that she would have to deal with someone revealing their nature on a first date. After dating for months, maybe. It almost drives the absurdity of where the two of them are right now straight out of her mind. Almost, but not quite. “Thank you for telling me, but—“ she begins, barely keeping her voice in control.
Marie reaches up and rips the beanie off her head, and this does temporarily make her forget her anger. Instead of hair, a column of inky blackness trails off from behind Marie's scalp. Perhaps “blackness,” is the wrong word, Kaia reflects. It is not so much black as it is a rip in space, without depth, dimension, or perspective. “This is what I really look like. It's why I can do magic,” Marie whispers, looking at Kaia for her reaction. Her voice is full of poorly-disguised hope, like someone in a failing marriage trying to propose. “Do you want me to tell you how magic works? I'm not technically supposed to discuss it, but—“
“Marie, I don't care!” Kaia yells.
The two of them are quiet, and they listen to the sounds of nighttime around them. The chirping of crickets and buzzing of cicadas fills the air, and in the distance bullfrogs croak. Instead of being calming, the noises seem to fuel Kaia, and her rage from before begins to build.
“What do you think of this place?” Marie asks again.
“I hate it,” Kaia says, and then before she can stop herself the words are tumbling from her mouth. “It reminds me of everything I can't have.”
“I thought you would enjoy it,” Marie says, glaring at her and sounding affronted.
“Enjoy it?” Kaia yells, not caring that her voice is echoing through the forest around them. “Marie, we would be killed if the Circle knew we were here! I'm not like you. I hate taking pointless, stupid risks. Why would you do this?”
Marie sighs, and from within her coat she withdraws a small bundle. At first, Kaia thinks it is the package that Cahiel left her, but then she realizes that it is a pack of pieces of paper, no, letters, tied together loosely with ragged twine. Marie walks to a tree several yards away and nestles them next to the roots. They look lonely there, but inviting. Just waiting to be picked up and read.
Marie takes a cigarette out of her pocket and pulls a globule of blackness from behind her head. She puts it to the cigarette, and it transforms into a small burst of black fire. She takes a long drag on the cigarette before looking at Kaia again. “I've worked a lot of nasty jobs in the Grotto. I've stolen, fleeced people, smuggled, and done everything just to get a little bit of a thrill. The job you got me is the first legit one I've ever done, and I'm thankful for that. But this right here is the one thing I can't quit. People contact me to send letters to the mortal world, usually to friends or relatives.” Marie raises an eyebrow at Kaia and grins sheepishly. “You're right, it's the most illegal thing there is. But you can't tell me that you haven't ever wanted to talk to someone in your previous life. That it wouldn't be worth the risk.”
These words, combined with Marie's stupid grin, are too much for Kaia. “I'm a shade, Marie,” she says harshly. Marie's grin slips away, replaced by a look of horror. “Oh good, you know what that is. But do you know how someone becomes a shade?” Marie shakes her head mutely, and Kaia clenches her fists. She's never said any of this out loud before, but she is well past the point of no return. “A shade forms when someone dies, and no one is impacted by their passing. No one alive truly cares about them. Most of the times it's the elderly or children who turn, but I was lucky enough to transform into one when I was eighteen.”
Kaia swallows. Tears drip down her face, and she roughly wipes them off with the back of her hand. Even though she has done nothing but talk, it feels as if someone has punched her in the stomach.
“How do you think it feels seeing all this, and being reminded of that fact? Knowing that no one ever truly cared about me? Not my teachers, not my classmates, not even my foster parents. Let me tell you: It feels like shit. This is a world I was never truly a part of, even when I was alive. There's no one here for me to write letters to, and nothing here for me to miss besides being remembered. And you know what? The only shot I have at people remembering me again is by not getting killed. So no, I don't appreciate you putting my life in the Grotto in jeopardy, and I sure as hell don't have anyone left over here I want to talk to.”
A long moment passes where the two of them do nothing but look at one another. Marie's eyes crawl across Kaia's body, from her icy skin to her still chest. It makes her feel naked, and vulnerable.
“I can remember you,” Marie says slowly. She looks at Kaia, anger and confusion dawning on her face. “Is that why you got me hired? Just because I could actually remember your face? Is that the only reason you're on this date?”
“Is that seriously your only takeaway from this?” Kaia yells, her temper finally boiling over. “You forced me to break the law!”
Marie throws her head back in frustration, sending her hair into a frenzy of whipping tendrils, which score the ground around her with smooth cuts. “I can't believe I was so stupid to think that you actually cared about me! You're just out to get me because it lets you pretend you're less alone than you actually are!”
“Better than rebounding by taking advantage of a lonely girl!”
“Do you even like women? Or did you just not want to spend another night alone?”
“Stop making this about you!” Kaia screams.
“Stop making this about you!” Marie screams back. The two of them fall silent, both breathing heavily. The forest around them has gone completely silent. Kaia eyes Marie with hatred, and Marie looks at Kaia in the same way.
After a moment, Kaia drops her gaze. “Just take me home, Marie,” Kaia says wearily. “Your secret is safe with me. I won't mention what you do outside of work.”
Marie throws her cigarette to the ground and grinds it into the dirt with her heel. “Fine,” she says shortly. “And I won't mention to anyone just how broken you are.”
A moment later, they are gone, and the sounds of the forest begin again.
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