Lawson and I spent an hour after that going over the quirks of humanity and the basics of how searching the internet worked, and another few hour after that searching for furniture for my room. I felt like I finally understood some of the questions about human behaviour that had always bothered me, and I was starting to get what Lawson was doing with the “laptop,” even if I wasn’t always quick enough at reading to comprehend what he was searching for until he told me.
By the time Lawson started closing the browser and shutting down the laptop, we had, in my opinion, gone way overboard in terms of ordering furniture online.
After much deliberation, I picked out a couch I liked, a standard sofa with black fabric cushions, and a new bed to replace both the tattered and stiff mattress and the creaky bed frame itself. The bed was composed of a wooden bed frame and a new mattress made of something called “memory foam.” I wasn’t certain what that term meant, but Lawson assured me that it was the choice I wanted. He also introduced me to the world of bed sheets and let me pick out a few patterns, including a set that was sky blue and grey like my feathers, and a set that was black with star print on it. We also looked at pillows. When I heard that they made pillows that were stuffed with pellets similar to the ones in beanbags, I didn’t even have to ask, Lawson knew I wanted one by the look on my face. Even though we didn’t talk about ourselves much directly, I felt like I was getting to know Lawson, and I could tell he was also learning about me.
There was more that we picked out, but it was mostly less important stuff. Lawson, while scrolling through the results of a search for room decorations, found a bluejay “plushie.” I wasn’t sure what a plushie was, but before I could ask, he had added it to the cart and moved on down the list. I knew bluejays existed only because trainers and the owner had constantly told me how much my feathers looked like the feathers of a bluejay, but I didn’t actually know what one looked like until I saw the picture next to the plushie description.
The fun had to come to an end eventually, though, as Lawson turned off the laptop and put it back in its case.
“Well, some of that will be shipped here within a week. The rest of it will have to be picked up from the store. Some of it is already held, but the rest of it they will have to order into the store. I can make a run tomorrow and get the stuff that’s already ready in the store.”
I nodded.
“In the meantime, I know there’s not a lot to do around here, but feel free to wander around and try to find something to do. And I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but I imagine you’d still be recovering from everything, so if you just want to rest that’s fine too. It’s really up to you.”
I nodded again, and offered an honestly appreciative thanks, for both the furniture and the relative freedom. Even while being confined in the building, my world had expanded hugely since I was secluded in just my room.
Curious about why Lawson couldn’t stay, I decided to just ask, “Why does Lawson keep leaving? What is Lawson doing?”
“Well… To be honest I have a lot of complications to deal with as a result of buying you, and on top of that I don’t really have any help in taking care of you yet. I’ve been trying to find people to help with your care, but I don’t have a ton of connections and people seem hesitant, and I don’t blame them. After you mentioned Kairen, I did think he might be one willing to work with you if I could find him. On top of that, I’ve been fending off tons of people who want to see you killed and preparing equipment and strategies for my experiment in case you decide to help me.”
I felt a feeling that I didn’t really understand tighten around my chest as he talked. When I thought about its origin, I realised what I was feeling must’ve been guilt for causing him trouble. I felt awful that he had to spend his time defending me, accommodating for me. It was a confusing feeling.
It had only been hours since I met him, and I knew hours wouldn’t undo what an entire lifetime did to me, but while I didn’t trust him, I wanted to trust him. It was a first step.
“I’m sorry Lawson has to do that for me.”
He looked surprised at my apology, “Listen, Eclipse, I know I keep saying I have no way of knowing what you’ve been through, but in the time that I’ve known about you, I have never once seen you be aggressive unless you had a right to be. As far as I’m concerned, everything you did was self-defence, which you are entirely entitled to. If I can spend a few hours of my time here and there to reestablish your good character and try to find people who will actually care about you and help you, of course I will. It's inhumane to let others be abused for years and then hate them and try to kill them when they finally decide to protect themselves. Some people just don’t see the other point of view, especially when the other is different from themselves.”
Comments (1)
See all