“It’s just over here. It’s no smoothie place, and I probably don’t hold a candle to your mom, but it’s rather nice. If we eat fast we’ll be back before Donny decides to take someone else in.” She says as we walk along the side walk rather far from the salon.
“I don’t have money Clara. I’d rather just wait till I get home…” I say looking at the little sandwich shop she stops in front of.
“Nonsense! You have to eat. Its mid-day and you haven’t eaten anything. I’ll pay.” Clara says. I feel the need to bug her further, to demand she let me be, my hunger shuts me up as she rushes me into the shop.
My mouth waters at the sight of all the delicious food plastered in the store. The tempting posters. The aroma of deli-meat coming from behind the counter. I see people around me biting into their sandwiches and my stomach growls. Oh gluttony thou art one ruthless bitch. Despite my hunger something still reaves a sour taste in my mouth. I turn to Clara who’s been ecstatically talking about the menu to me.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I say clenching my fists and looking at the floor. I’ve been so awful toward her and she still insists on driving me here, introducing me to a friend, and paying for my meal? Either she wants something out of me or she wants to get back at me.
“What do you mean?” Clara asks and I look at her. She looks scared and uncomfortable.
“We don’t even know each other. Why are you doing any of this? What do you have to gain from being nice to me?” I ask in a low voice for only to two of us to hear.
She crosses her arms over her chest and I see her nails dig into her skin. She swallows hard and then looks at me like a lost puppy and smiles.
“I’ve never been the type of girl to be close with girls. So when I saw you this morning. I was shocked sure who wouldn’t be, but I wanted to be your friend. It’s ridiculous I know, and I know you probably want nothing to do with me, but that’s all I have to gain from being nice to you. A friend.” Clara says taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I know how you feel. You seem like a nice person, and I admire that about you.” I say and she laughs dryly. “Well. The owners are going to yell at us if we don’t order anything soon. Let’s hurry up and decide.” I say and she looks up at me in disbelief.
“Right!” She sighs in relief letting go of her arms marked red by her palms. I didn’t think she would have such a hard time making friends. I thought the pretty ones always had everything.
After a minute of looking at the menu we order what we want. We pick out a table once we have our food and begin to eat in awkward silence. This is the oddest way I’ve ever made friends. I hide my smile with a bite of my sandwich and think of something to ask. I feel better now and more willing to talk to her. I do tend to be irritable when I haven’t eaten… I’m no better than a toddler! Don’t tell me I was just hungry this whole time?
“Do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?” I ask. It doesn’t hurt to ask does it? I can guess but id rather not.
Clara looks around the Deli and then at me. I see a blush enflame her cheeks and she stares at me pressing me to say something else. I don’t know what she wants from me.
“I used to be an assistant, but I wasn’t any good at that. I got dropped from so many jobs it’s hard to count. I gave up and decided I’d just be a..a-well what you caught me doing.” She says and then looks down into her cup.
“Wait you’re really a-you know?” I ask her and she scowls at me. This is the first time today I’ve seen such an ugly look on her face. Can you really blame me for being intrigued? You hear about whores on television, on the news, you never meet one unless you’re looking.
“You do what you got to do. The world told me I couldn’t do any better for myself over and over again. Do you blame me for believing it?” She says.
“I’m sure you’re worth much more than that thing between your legs. I bet she would bite if she could.” I say and before I can wonder if I’ve gone too far Clara bursts out laughing so hard she snorts. Her laugh makes me laugh, and soon we’re both in a laughing fit with the other patrons of the sandwich shop staring at us.
“Sometimes I bet it would if it could.” She says and that only adds fuel to the fire. I hear my cackling resonating everywhere. Oh, how I’ve missed that old sound.
“Hey! Ladies if you don’t mind I’d like to eat my sandwich in peace.” A man shouts at us.
“Sorry.” I say shaking off my laughter, and trying to catch my breath.
Once both me and Clara get a hold of ourselves we decide to pack up what’s left of our sandwiches, and head back out to the salon.
“Donny will probably be wondering where we are.” Clara say and I fluff up my hair dramatically.
“Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting then.” I say and we laugh as we exit the shop.
“You really don’t mind what I do? I know just form side long conversations that a lot of people look down on what I do.” Clara says looking down at her heels as we walk.
“Shockingly I don’t. I do feel like you could make better use of yourself, but it was your choice. I cant shame you for doing something to keep food on the table and money in your pocket.” I say and she smiles shyly at me.
“You’re the first person I’ve told this to. It feels strange finally spilling everything out.” She exclaims spreading her arms wide to the sky.
I look at her and she smiles brightly at me. What could drive a woman so far down that she would think all she was good for was a night in bed? I don’t know. I guess the same thing that made me angry with Ralph for wanting to use me, and for ultimately deciding I wasn’t worth it…
Clara and I walk into the salon the bell at the door chiming as we enter. We look around and Donny looks at the both of us with relief. She hustles over after saying something to her client.
“Where have you two been? You’re up next in my chair, Ruth. Do you know how slowly I’ve had to cut this woman’s hair to give you enough time to get back?”
“I’m sorry.” I say my cheeks warming slightly.
“No matter. I was just about finished styling her hair when you came in. I’ll go finish and I’ll call you when you’re up.” She says and then hurry’s off to finish blow drying the woman’s hair.
“Lucky. She would’ve gone on without us.” Clara says looking at all the women sitting in the waiting chairs.
“Ruth?” Another client calls and I get up leaving my sandwich with Clara.
“Have a seat my beautiful, Ruth.” Donny says and I sit down in the haircutting chair. Donny puts a smock around me and ties it around my neck. My hair drapes over the black material like a curtain. I say my final farewell to this hair. To all the things I wanted and never got and never will. . To my mother who stares back at me in the mirror.
“Now. What do you want to do with this gorgeous hair today?” Donny says taking a comb and brushing it through my hair.
“Cut it as far as you can without making me look like a man.” I say and Donny stops combing my hair.
“That’s going to be drastic difference. Are you sure?” She asks and I chuckle.
“Donny, drastic is exactly what I’m looking for.” I say.
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