While standing in front of the bookshelves, I heaved a long sigh of relief. Now that I've given it a second thought, didn't I spilled oil to the fire with how my actions turned out?

I'm dead… that's for sure.

As a matter of fact, what I did was a direct insult towards them. They'd be burning with hate now. I scratched my hair and yelled in my inner thoughts:

I don't have to keep worrying about that, with what'll happen tomorrow… I'll accept it!

Forget about that for now, because I just discovered a great place. The library…

Why is it that all this time, I didn't know how amazing this place is?

From my field of vision, I see plenty of books and a few students reading all by themselves. The library was the sanctuary for loners. Since you could read the "Keep Quiet" sign in every corner of the room, it was no doubt a peaceful place. If I always stayed here after school, would I be all right? For now, let's look for a book to read. To be honest, I was not interested in reading, and because I have no interest, I don't know what to grab on the shelf. If any book was fine, then I'd took a random one.

The book that I get a hold of was a novel. It was a classic foreign book of the author named Lewis Carrol -Alice in Wonderland [1]. I gave it a read and I was absorbed by the story. Alice -the main protagonist- fell to a hole after chasing a rabbit. After that, she was transferred to wonderland. Right there, her surreal adventure began. From becoming big to small, meeting a smiling cat, a smoking caterpillar, and a strange queen, she was free to do all that she could in that world. Anything could happen in wonderland, sometimes I wished this world was like that too. A place filled with plenty of possibilities was something that my heart fully desired. I wished to be free.

Today, I was nothing but a prisoner locked in my small wonderland which was the library. Once I get out of this place, the darkness would engulf me again. Rubbing my eyes that was not used to reading, I found myself tired and took a break, but when I looked outside I realized that it was getting dark. Also, most of the students inside the library were tidying up their things. It was closing time, I've got to prepare too. I returned the book to the shelf and picked up my bag. Before going out, the representative of the library -which was also a student- smiled at me. I was frustrated with myself that I couldn't return the favor.

I reached my destination safe and sound. Even at this late night, my parents were still not home. On the table of the dining room, I always find a prepared meal for dinner which left a note "Heat it first before you eat". This had been my daily life. Although my dinner was like this, I was still grateful to my mother by having a home-cooked food than those that we get from convenience stores. After heating, I ate it with all gratitude. I took a bath hereafter and went to bed. Closing my eyes, I imagined how tough my third day could be. I vision the faces of the three girls one by one. The leader, which was in the middle was the scariest, while the other two alongside her were having the same aura, although I could tell that they were just followers who abide the order.

When I was awake, I hesitated to get up upon being certain that this day would be a wrenching pain. It was unlikely to still go to school knowing that I would just be bullied. I knew all along that I would be hurt once I entered their premises, so if I still do, that would mean I was one hell of a creepy masochist. For god's sake, I don't want myself to be called a "Plague girl" but I ended up conducting a self-analysis of being creepy. Despite gathering those negative thoughts all around me, I still get up and looked myself at the mirror.

I will still go, if I don't… my parents would suspect.

For the first time I thought, why would I not want them to know about my problems? For sure my entire years on middle school would be terrible, so I must ask for their help if I wanted to survive, just like how I did my best to choose a school. When the sudden urge breakthrough me, I see my parents to my imaginary vision. Before, I often see them sad and worried about me. Both of them were good in nature. I neither see them having a fight in the family household nor outside the general public. They get along with their neighbors so well and always have a pleasing face in front of their customers. I thought that they were excellent when it comes to hiding their true feelings. But after we came here to know that I changed, they had been more enthusiastic about their work lately.

I find their happiness as my source of joy too. I knew, that once I confessed the truth, their good life would be devastated. I'd see them cry while apologizing for not giving much attention to me. I'd watch their madness while confronting the bullies and their parents. I'd observe them not able to maintain a pleasing face to their customers because of anxiety. I've heard of a saying before, "Pretty words aren't always true, but true words aren't always pretty". My confession would spread forth misfortune to this family. I deserve the title "Plague girl" for that reason. And so, I arrived at the conclusion that I'd keep my struggle a secret to them. It was okay to lie. After all, white lies were considered different, it has the intention of keeping a secret for good reason.

I put my school uniform on and maintained my fashion statement as of the first day. Whenever I head to school, I go with this disguise to delight my parents about my progressive status in life. Every time I go down the stairs headed to the dining area where we see each other, I sensed a heartwarming feeling, to the point that I developed pangs of remorse for delivering acts that deviated from the truth.

[1] Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - (commonly shortened to Alice in Wonderland) is an 1865 novel written by English author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson under the pseudonym Lewis Carroll.