I’m back, fuckers! Did you miss me? The fuck am I saying?! Of COURSE you missed me! How do I know? Come on! I walk through the fourth wall like it’s a revolving fucking door. How the hell else do you think I know?! I read the damn comments! THIS! This right here is how I know every single one of you thirsty twats missed m-- wait, that didn’t actually make sense. Pussy is wet, a twat is a pussy, pussy is vagina, vagina is always moist. A twat literally CAN’T be thirsty in life because it’s always-- I’m getting distracted. Okay, here’s the evidence, AND I QUOTE:

OH! And, my favorite chapter would probably be An Empty Mind for now (since Adam's savage mouth still has more to say lol). Adam's pure, unrestrained sassiness just made my day reading it and it was so funny, but there was also another whole different view to life that was so interesting to read that I didn't honestly know what to do ahaha... But, now, thinking about it, it just gave me another way to look at our society. In short, ADAM'S A FOOKING REBEL ANDILOVEHIMHE'SMYHERO - Mikiwi

You see that? I CANNOT make this stuff up! Go to the CrushUniverse page and read all of that love yourself. I mean it. Actually go do it! Go! Go for it right now! I’ll actually wait for you to go look.

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1...

See? Did you see it? Am I lying? HELL no, I’m not lying! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, hater. I am LOVED, got it? LOVED!!! I love you too, Mikiwi. You’re the fucking best. The BEST!!!

Now, where was I?

My footsteps echoed as I walked down the broad, empty halls. The ground rumbled beneath my feet as if my every stride caused a small earthquake. I navigated the corridors like a seasoned professional as they changed shape around me. For some reason, despite all the alterations, I seemed to know exactly where to go. The complex morphed outside and in, growing steadily in size. I could feel it. As I moved deeper inside, I could feel the vibrations under me and see the dust cascading down the stone walls, but I could no longer hear the sound of it transforming.

I spoke my thoughts out loud along the way. It didn’t really seem like a bad idea, honestly. Why not? I was completely alone. I always was. Maybe the other was listening, maybe not. It was pretty hot and cold. As you’re already aware, it didn’t much respond to me verbally. At this point, it would be odd if I didn’t reveal what I was thinking while on campus. I wasn’t accomplishing anything by hiding it.

Me: Let’s see what sort of secrets you hold…

Voice: I hold your secrets.

Ha! How did I not see that coming? It’s always when I least expected it that I'd have that voice booming in my head. To think it actually startled me! Well...I guess it should have when one considers how much it doesn’t respond to.

I ran my hand along the stone as I paced the halls. I could feel something like a pulse from it. I was certain that was the frequency of a heartbeat and I was even more certain that it came from the heart stone deep in the core of the structure. Remember that thing is shaped like a heart. Hell, it’s even red. I told you all of that but it’s important for you to recall it because it fit my reasoning at the time. Also remember how I described the frequency of the light pulses. This makes total sense, right? Okay, you’re on the right path.

Me: And what secrets are those?

Voice: All of them.

Well, that didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Talk about a conversation with a closed off other party. I had to press with more penetrating questions after finally getting it to actually say something to me. I took a few minutes to ponder my next move. I had one question bouncing around my head for a while but I had become unsure of myself over time. After about five minutes of wrestling with it, I figured eh, fuck it, I might as well go with the obvious on the next one. So, I did.

Me: Where did you come from?

The ground shook and I could hear the stones rubbing against each other. I was used to weird shit like that happening and wasn’t bothered. The silence following felt awkward. That’s right, crickets, people. Can you believe that? As opposed to getting used to returning to this place, I actually wanted to go back this time and the son of a bitch wouldn’t talk to me when I asked about its background. How nice! Way to make a brother feel welcome.

The apparent rudeness was infuriating.

Me: Word, so you got nothing to say all of a sudden?

Voice: There was no better answer to give you.

Me: Why the fuck not?!

Voice: Because you would not understand. You can’t yet.

Me: Condescending much? Who do you think you are?!

The NERVE of this bitch! Can you believe it came at me that way?! Where did this...thing get off talking to me like that? Like I’m some kind of small-minded hick? I was, and still am, way too smart to be spoken to that way. I may have done some stupid shit in my life, everyone does, but I’m a certified goddamn genius. This thing had me all the way fucked up! Y’all got me fucked up if you think I stood for that shit. I did not. I can turn this shit on like a faucet. Peep game…

Voice: I am--

Me: Shut the fuck up. Listen, you’ve got another thing coming if you think you’re going to respond to me like I’m an idiot. I can’t understand. Ha! You got shit twisted, homie! Talk to me with some respect if you’re going to do it. I looked forward to coming all this way to visit your punk ass and you turn your nose up at me? Do you even have a nose to turn up at anyone? Fuck outta here! Get your life together before I get it together for you!

Voice: The intention was not to offend…

Me: Fair enough. So, I won’t understand, right? Is that because you don’t think I’m intelligent enough, or because the truth doesn’t make any damn sense?

Voice: The truth defies reality and will offend your sensibilities.

Got it. That’s all I needed to know at the time. I could take my time learning more from that point forward. Baby steps. I reasoned that taking in new information a little at a time would be grossly beneficial to me in the long run. I already saw this giant as paradoxical because I was the only person Earth who could find it back then. More, I couldn’t go there on my own, I had to be transported there by some other means. Not only that, I had to go to sleep for that to even happen. What’s even more fucked up is the fact that no one else was disturbed or even noticed it happening. As a matter of fact, everything around me was left undisturbed the entire time I was gone.

It wasn’t all bad though. I didn’t have to stay in the cold the entire visit anymore. I hadn’t endured that for a long time, and my beloved fucking floors prevented me from getting grass stains on my sleepwear anymore. Sure, it wasn’t perfect but things were sure starting to go well for me here. I just needed to jump that communication hurdle.

To be continued...