Dysphoria is super unpredictable. Some days I'm more ok with my fleshly vessel than others. Some days I'm less affected by being misgendered. Since I'm not out to everyone, and I can't pass very well, I've grown to numb myself from dysphoria by dissociating. But some days, it's vicious and clouds my mind completely. A couple weeks ago, my mom called me a girl, quite obviously to reinforce her not accepting me. It sent me into a spiral for three days, where I couldn't focus and was nauseous all the time. I outwardly flinched at misgendering and couldn't look into a mirror or down at myself without literally crying. Yesterday, in the other hand, I felt semi-comfortable in my body and was able to overlook misgendering easier. Today I'm in between the two. Every day is different. And everyone's experience with dysphoria is different.
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