Okay, so the stronghold developed the most in the aforementioned period of time. At first it was gradual, like when I was 17. Autumn and Theresa were generally good to me, so to speak. Kind of. Theresa just had a bad habit of being highly physically aggressive with me quite often, both were domineering, and both tended to talk to other guys. In hindsight, that last part wasn't all that bad. It's a normal occurrence to me now. I just ask not to fall second because I'm usually the good guy who was there first. If I treat a woman like she's always first in my love life, I should be treated the same. They at least gave me that much. Other than that, my life was literally like an anime.

I maintained two emotional relationships deep into my adulthood. I visited with Theresa often. We did a lot of foreplay but never got to have sex. She would later get pregnant by another man and, even then, we were in a good place. I was enthralled by her. I had to seek her permission to even be with someone else - even if she was involved with someone. She made sure I regretted it whenever I didn't. She'd scream at me and slap me, then kiss me and feel my body. She'd grab my throat and growl at me…

Theresa: You're mine, got it? I'm just sharing you with these other bitches. Don't get it confused, I'm in charge.

Me: But I haven't…

Theresa: Shut your ass up!

Then she'd grab me down there and kiss me longer. She liked to wrestle and she was surprisingly strong for her size. She often caught me by surprise and pinned me to the sofa, where she'd mount me, bare her breasts, then place a large hickey on my neck. It was her way of branding me so that other women would think twice before trying to muscle her out of my life. If she could do that to my big ass, they could only imagine what she'd do to them.

On the other side was Autumn. She liked to do fun things with me online. We talked a lot and she knew all about the other girls pursuing me. She just didn't care. She wasn't shy either. I saw every part of her. She had flaws but she was beautiful inside and out. She tried her level best to ensnare me but I always slipped through her fingers. She knew I couldn't get enough of her though. I wouldn't say it but it was clear I loved her. We'd fight over me not declaring it but we always made up.

That was my life until I was 18, when Nina came along. That's when the balance was broken and the other girls could tell something was off about me. I was present less and always had an excuse for not being so intimately involved with them. I had my first real love and my computer love. That was our dynamic. Nina obstructed that. She was terribly jealous and I followed her around like a lovesick puppy. She came all the way from Connecticut to be with me.

I tried. I really tried. Aside from being taken against my will, I was good to her. I learned that I couldn't be with her and maintain my friendships at the same time, so I tried to choose her. Theresa and Autumn weren't having it. They practically stomped on my neck and told me she won't be around any longer. Nina could sense this and instead faulted me.

Nina: You fucking around with other bitches on me?! I'm NOT the one! I'll cut your fucking dick off! Call 'em! I'll take care of that REAL quick. Keep playing with me. I'll kill your ass and them too!!!

She wouldn't hear me, and when she finally went back home, she was gone just as quickly as she came. I anxiously searched for her for months but I couldn't find her. I just wanted to know she was okay and tell her I was sorry. A sorry man who couldn't get these other women off of me or make them supportive of my relationship and decision. They were stronger than me in ways I couldn't understand or explain, and I did all I could to walk away. But it's hard to say goodbye when someone is dominating a person and threatening to kill them if they ever left. It's even harder when they've literally got them by the balls.

I wasn't as tough as I thought I was. I've killed before and couldn't do a thing about these girls. For the first time in a very long time…

I was scared…