Me: Why, Theresa? Why do you have to do this? Why are you doing this to me?!

Theresa: Shut the fuck up! You let a bitch burn you. I should KILL your motherfucking ass! Get the fuck over here and sit your ass down!

She slapped me. The back of my head and neck tingled. I was hurt by that and was powerless to do anything about it. My ears got hot and I really wanted to cry out of frustration but she'd only hit me again.

Me: Would you stop hitting me?!

Theresa: [dark] Beat my ass then. Go 'head. Do it. Make me stop! BEAT MY ASS!

She hit me a few more times with both hands. Her thin, ringed fingers and hard knuckles cut deep into my flesh. Her blows hurt. Cuts opened up on my skin and I bled onto my clothes while I sniffed back the blood running down my nostrils.

Me: I can't.

Theresa: Thought so, nigga. Fuck wrong with you?! Stupid motherfucker! I should cut your stupid ass!

I knew better than to even consider hitting Theresa back. She'd stab me without hesitation. Defending myself simply wasn't worth the risk. I looked over at her aunt who shook her head cautiously. She clutched the phone and tried to quietly remove it from its cradle. But Theresa was hyper aware of everything in this state. She could detect even the slightest movement.

Theresa: PUT THAT PHONE DOWN, PRISCILLA! Matter fact, GO upstairs! I don't need no snitches down here!

Her aunt hurried away.

I was involved with a dangerous woman and had no way out. She told me she did this because she loved me and that I just needed to learn to act right so she doesn't have to hurt me again. My fool ass knew the first part was true and assumed the second was too. Ghada had put me in more danger than I had been in for a while. As petite as Theresa was, she was terrifying, and Autumn was like a perfect accomplice. She ordered me to give Theresa Ghada's address. But I couldn't do that. I just wanted the shit to be over.

That was a mistake.

Soon after Ghada and I parted ways, I heard tale of Theresa finding her. Not only did Ghada's mom kick her ass, Theresa reportedly kicked her ass even worse. Rumor had it that Ghada had been hospitalized.

I visited Theresa again a few weeks later. Her favorite gray sweatpants had blood stains on them when she answered the door. A sour taste filled my mouth as I stepped inside and glared at the fabric.

Me: [disgusted] Take those off. I don't want to see that shit.

Theresa: Take 'em off me then, stupid.

I grabbed her waistline and pushed on them. I was irate. I meant what I said. Then it happened. She made me look weak again. Her right hand wrapped around my throat and her left palm landed on my forehead with a loud thwack. She gave me a peck on the lips.

Theresa: I missed you too, stupid.

She then pushed me inside. I was cured by then and sat quietly by her on the sofa. I knew better than to speak without permission and instead boiled over with rage. I still wanted to kill Ghada, and now you know why my reaction was that severe when I actually attempted to. I was humiliated; cussed out and beaten up. I went to work and hustled with bruises and scars all over me. Cats stopped taking me seriously and I had to flex muscle on them to prove that nothing had changed as far as they were concerned. Still, in the back of my mind, I knew I would never be able to end Theresa's control over me unless she wanted to be done with me. And that made me hit them harder and even more times. I stewed on those memories while I sat there silently, awaiting her prompt to speak.

Theresa: I'm listening.

Me: I'm sorry.

Theresa: For?

She didn't look away from the television. She was that confident in her power over me. She was right to be. She was used to bigger men and knew how to handle herself perfectly well. She held nothing back when she hit me, and that made me reluctant to disobey her.

Me: [quietly] For ever trying to move on from you.

Theresa: And you can't do that because?

Me: [ashamed] I'm yours.

She turned and stared a hole in me. Her face was blank; completely absent of emotion. She unsettled me.

Theresa: [emotionless] And don't you EVER forget it.