“Training? Why do I need that?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Just to keep my reputation up since you’re my personal servant.” Hijikata shrugged. From his sleeve, he took several copper coins and opened his palm towards me. I was skeptical about him handing some money over to me so I eyed him suspiciously as I stretched my hands forward.

“Good work so far.” Hijikata said, dropping the coppers into my palms. I didn’t expect such event but I had no intention of accepting money. So, I placed those coppers on the tatami floor and bowed.

“Do you mean you’re staying here on your will and not because you are hired?” Hijikata asked. His eyes were transfixed on me. I wasn’t sure about that. If I returned home, mother would have sent me for marriage but it didn’t mean I liked being in Shinsengumi. At least it’s better than being with a fake samurai with no courage.

“Are you sure about not returning home?” Hijikata continued. The end of his lip was tugging to a smirk but he seemed to be holding it back. It annoyed me. It felt as if I had lost to him in a way.

“For now, no.” I sighed. “Are you chasing me away?” I asked as I frowned.

“I’d prefer you being here.” Hijikata stated. Were my ears tricking me? For a moment, I stopped moving. There was no way I would believe in him. He accepted me randomly because Souji brought me into the headquarters. He’s definitely lying.

“…What are you up to?” I folded my arms, staring at him doubtfully.

“What do you mean? I’m serious.” Hijikata looked serious as he had said but it did not convince me. Hijikata stood and approached me, pulling me by my hand and led me into his room.

This is so out of place. If he plans to do something to me, I will punch him.

“Close your eyes.” He said and I didn’t obey so he repeated the same thing again. I didn’t heed so he recited as many times as it took for me to get bored and obeyed. With all doubt and reluctance, I shut my eyes. There was nothing for a moment, however, soon enough I heard a whisper by my ear. It tickled. “Give me your hands.”

Shivering from his voice, I stoned in place. Alright. No punch. But if he dares lay a hand on me I’ll slap him instead. I thought as I relaxed my hard-clenched fists and gave him both of my hands. I soon felt something on my palms. Curious, I opened my eyes and saw a box.

A…gift? For me? I tilted my head and looked at him.

“Deliver that to the gate guard and say that I want it delivered to Shiekan in Edo. It’s letters inside.” Hijikata snickered almost laughing out at the sight of my disappointed face.

“Deliver it on your own!” I threw the box at him and stomped out of the room. Once I stepped out of his room, his laughter just turned louder to my dislike. I thought it was just me who heard two laughing voices but the longer the laughter lasted, I was sure someone else was conspiring with Hijikata. I stepped down to the ground and peeked under the house. I found the mouse. Souji was laughing; so hard that tears began flowing down his eyes.

Being furious, I could only head to my next chore to distract myself. I went to clean the bathrooms. However, the bad luck seemed to be tailing me this whole day.

A woman? In Shinsengumi’s headquarters? It was not my place to get involved with it so I ensued my chores while ignoring the woman. I went to clear out dirty water in pails and a mouse came in suddenly. Apparently, the mouse startled the person in tub and revealed a manly voice. Huh? I spun reflexively and saw a naked man. Silence engulfed us for a while before we screamed in perfect unison. We lost our voices soon and returned to exchanging stares. Reflexively I threw the pail I had in hand and knocked him out. I ran.

Due to his long hair which obstructs his features, I mistook him for a woman from behind!

Π

Cowering behind bushes, I cried in anger as I broke some dry sticks found on ground. What have I done to Shinsengumi in my previous life that I am given such trial? I sniffed. I picked up a pebble and threw it straight ahead me. I didn’t expect that it would actually hit someone.

“Ouch! Who threw this stone?!” roared my victim. I recognized the voice and because I knew whose voice it belonged to, little fear crept on me. It’s Heisuke!  I crawled on four, away from where I was before. Sensing Heisuke would probably search for the criminal, I hid behind a tree and kept silent until he went away. There was almost no sound except the sound of breathing—no, not mine. It came from my side. Feeling the anxiety nibbling on my heart, I turned my head to see who it was. I was greatly startled by the presence of Souji who was smiling widely.

“Scared you?” Souji chuckled.

I sighed. “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” Souji replied.

“Aren’t you busy with your unit?” I continued.

“We don’t have patrol today. I’m running away from Hijikata-san. He was mad when he found out I was hiding under his room. Thanks to you, I was busted.” Souji laughed. He seemed happy but I had no idea why was he happy of being lectured. Nevertheless, seeing his smile calmed me down somehow.

“Hijikata-san is pretty harsh to you, huh?” Souji turned his gaze on me. “It proofs that he cares. Don’t take him too seriously. Despite his scary looks and bad mouth, he truly is delicate within.”

“He’s not.” I denied.

“Are you sure? Hasn’t he handled you gently?” Souji smirked.

Come to think of it…the way he pulled my hand—what the hell am I thinking?! I pouted, setting both palms on my cheeks, feeling it getting warm. I stared at Souji. “He tried to bribe me to serve Shinsengumi. He called me dog. He must have threatened my family.”

“Those coins were your pay. He was honest about it. About him calling you ‘dog’, he calls anyone that whenever he feels like teasing. He has been teasing you! Ah, about your family, he only sent a representative to speak eye-to-eye with your mother.” Souji explained as he chuckled playfully. “Nothing pathetic at all. Isn’t he quite the man?”

“Souji!” A voice shouted. “If you don’t come out now, I will half your pay!”

“Oh no, it’s Hijikata-san! Gotta run! Good luck!” Souji turned frenzy as he took his heels, crawling swiftly like a lizard to escape through bushes.

I need to do something about my red eyes. I thought as I wiped away droplets of tears off my face. I actually forgot to clear them away thanks to Souji’s surprise attack. He could be anywhere. I should be careful with my surroundings. Maybe Souji and I could be friends…

Bushes rustled and startled me that I instinctively looked towards the reason. It was enough embarrassing that Souji found me crying like a baby. I had had enough frustration throughout the day why must I deal with the main reason of my turmoil?

My pupils dilated that instant I saw ‘him’ and my adrenaline rushed me to run. I immediately stood up and sprinted as fast as I could upon the face of a nightmare. Of all soldiers in Shinsengumi, why must it be Hijikata-san?! I could feel my blood being drained off from my face.

There is no way I’ll show my weakness to him! Never!

“Halt!” Hijikata shouted. It was obvious that he chased after me.

Lifting up the skirt of my kimono slightly as not to hinder my moving legs, I darted. Coincidentally, the fifth unit had just returned from their patrol and they were blocking my way. Feeling the fire in my heart, I determined myself to break through their formation to escape. I swiftly flipped my geta up with my feet one by one and held them in hands. I took a deep breath and roared.

“If you treasure your life, move aside!!” Then, with every talent I had, I fired my clog straight across like a canon. It opened up my way immediately to my advantage. However, that was only for a while. Soon enough those soldiers grouped together again.

I tossed the other clog I had and the way was finally wide open. “Move!” I shouted and dashed passed them in a flash of lightning.

“Get away!!” Hijikata's voice was getting closer.

“Oh! Hijikata-san, what are you—“ Harada Sanosuke, captain of fifth unit, greeted but his sentence was interrupted.

“Teaching a dog some manners!” Hijikata replied, racing up to me with all his might as well. I was pretty sure I was doomed but I had no plan of stopping whatsoever. Catching up to me, Hijikata took a grip of my arm and yanked me backwards.

“Let go!” I knew he meant no harm and he was probably going to give me a lecture. Yet, I reflexively regarded his action as a form of assault which led me to slap him unintentionally.

“…Hit me all you like. I didn’t realize that I hurt you.” Hijikata spoke. Then, he seemed to be skimming around cautiously.

The way he was being cautious to the surroundings made me curious but his admittance that he ‘hurt’ me was my bigger doubt. He was totally different previously. It made me wonder which exactly his true self was. It also made me wonder whether he was serious. I couldn’t fathom how he behaved. I didn’t understand him and I couldn’t decipher his puzzle. Suddenly Souji’s words echoed in my mind.

Harsh words are just masks…he is truly delicate within…

“Are you a masochist Hijikata-san?” Of course. Is this what Souji means?  Staring at Hijikata with slight doubt mixed with slight compassion, I had a new impression of Hijikata.

“I’m not!” Hijikata shouted. His grip tightening and made me flinch.

“Souji said so!” I retorted, pulling my arm back.

“Why do you believe in his words?!” Hijikata countered, pulling my arm again.

“He said you’re delicate within! What else does he mean?” I fired back.

“As I have said, it’s all his nonsense!” Hijikata attempted to retort.

“Then what does delicate mean?! He can’t be talking all those things without actually experiencing it himself! Why do you call people ‘dog’ when we all have names?! Why are you the vice-commander of Shinsengumi?!” I unleashed my whole burden. What surprised me was, there was no reply from Hijikata. I won this round. Truthfully, it was refreshing to let out everything.

Hijikata released my arm and turned his back against me. He took a few steps away. “Harada! Control your unit! Or else, no dinner tonight!” he reprimanded.

“Oh no! Lovers’ quarrel! Run!” Sano spoke as he ran, leading his men.

Π

I thought of fleeing stealthily but Hijikata turned to me and grabbed me by my wrist, motioning to follow him. As he led the way, he picked up my clogs in the process. I can’t predict him. What does he want? I pondered. Eventually, we arrived in his room. He shut the door and spoke in whisper.

“We’re going out tonight to Shimabara.” He muttered.

Wait, what? Was it all just an act? I tilted my head to a side as I frowned in confusion.

“Saitou just caught several men of Chosu . In short, we’re going for a celebration—“ Hijikata continued but he was interrupted.

“Hijikata!” The door was slid open suddenly, ruining our conversation.

“Pervert!” I exclaimed reflexively upon the sight of a man whose body I had unintentionally seen in the bathroom.

“You’re the pervert!” He shouted back. “I must demand a private talk regarding this girl” To my discomfort indeed it was the man in the bathroom back then. He wore a burgundy kimono with souhatsu  hairstyle. His bangs were long and he let them down, framing his pretty face. I looked away, trying hard not to remember what had happened between us.

“Hijikata-kun, may I ask who this girl is? I heard about you having a woman but I doubt it. We must have a talk about this for our relationship to go on.” The she-man, more like a soul of man trapped in the looks of a woman dressed in male clothes, spoke with a tone which sounded as if he were begging. His eyes looked at Hijikata hopefully.

He speaks as if he’s Hijikata-san’s lover. Ah, maybe Hijikata-san was being cautious because he sensed this fox?

The pretty man’s coming was rude and certainly had ruined Hijikata’s mood. Hijikata let out a heavy sigh and introduced us, “He’s Shinsengumi’s Councilor, Itou Kashitaro. This girl is my servant as well as Shinsengumi’s maid, Sayo. If you have any problem, please sign a petition regarding the matter. And do you mind leaving us both since you disturbed our conversation about her schedule.”

But weren’t we talking about them going to Shimabara? Ah, so it is an act. A pang of disappointment filled my heart as I glanced to Hijikata and then to Itou. What a shame. I thought this demon could have a little sense of humanity in him. Hijikata seemed to dislike Itou yet, Itou seemed very much the contrary. For a while, Itou ogled at me, looking me up and down as he narrowed his eyes.

“I see no problem between us now Hijikata. Excuse me for ruining your talk.” Itou excused himself and disappeared with ‘hmph’ as well as a cold stare at me.

Hijikata looked at me seriously as he leaned forward. He whispered, “Do not get close to Kashitaro. He’s dangerous.” He sat straight and returned to the original topic. “Regarding tonight, we’re going to Shimabara. We will be back before midnight. Tonight, you sleep here.”

“Excuse me?” I almost choked on my saliva due to his absurd suggestion. Why on earth must I sleep in his room?! But…he must be planning something. I can just stay awake until he’s back then I’ll return to my room.

“As I have said. Do not step out of this room. Do you understand?” Hijikata spoke as if it was a matter of life or death with his eyes looking at me seriously. I nodded. “And about what Souji had said to you. Forget it.” He grimaced.

“Come to think of it…Why did want you hire me?” I asked. His frown is cute…

“I use what can be used. That’s all.” Hijikata replied swiftly.

Not cute.