O Herrick, Herrick, wherefore art thou Herrick? Why doth thou have to be taken? She stared across the training class upon the visage of the man she wished to be with so. A man she will never have...a man out of reach, or so she thought!

One thing you should already be quite aware of is that I am a massive, unrelenting, unabashedly stupid dork when it comes to romance. I know just about nothing going on inside the female mind. It is for all intents and purposes pandoras box...no idea what is inside, but if I open it...change! 

I spend a lot of time on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Hinge...okay yes I have a problem and an addiction...but no one has had an intervention with me yet, so who am I to complain right? (Seriously though. In the words of Jim Carey from the Mask "Somebody stops me!") 

Anyhoo, I am trolling about tinder when I happen upon a profile that looks vaguely familiar. It took me all of thirty seconds to realize I used to work with her. And by work with her, I mean she was in a training class with my ex at the same time and I thought she was gorgeous, buuuuuuuuuuut I abide by the agreement my ex and I had at the time, which was monogamy and I did so without hesitation. 

Once again, a little lesson for you. Always lay out exactly what is expected in a relationship. I realize that this may in some ways be one of those situations where it should be "Obvious" but ground rules go a really long way, trust me. 

- Can you look at other women/men?
- Can you flirt with other women/men? 
- Can you date other women/men?
- Can you have relationships with other women/men?

For some people this can feel like "Well duh," but it isn't always as cut and dry as you may believe. There are even scientific studies that state that cheating and/or having other partners can strengthen the primary relationship, because it takes a lot of stress of staying "True" to the partner away and instead makes it so staying with that primary partner is a choice out of legitimate long term pleasure as opposed to the necessity of staying out of being trapped within an agreement which can after many years begin to feel suffocating (thus, why some couples call their relationships "Dead end"). 

I 4 PMfind a lot of satisfaction out of having one partner and one partner only and don't have the mental faculties to maintain multiple partners at one time, so I stay monogamous, and I'm happy with that type of arrangement. However, I have dated people that were polyamarous and been fine with them having other partners. None of my break-ups with polyamorous people, other than one were about another partner. For the most part, it was just that our life paths diverged. 

I digress, so she apparently had a pretty legit crush on me at the time, but for obvious reasons that I have explained, it did not work out and I did not even pursue the interaction because: 
A. I'm incredibly dense and would not have seen it anyway
B. It isn't within the relationship structure that I am most comfortable with
C. I later found out from her that (according to her) she engaged in a legal battle with my company and for obvious reasons did not stay. I cannot confirm or deny this one because I have neither proof or care to investigate further. 

So, when she and I first started talking we exchanged pleasantries and realized we both had a thing, so we decided to meet up. This is one of the easier meet up scenarios where you ask someone out because the two of you already know one another, so there isn't any sort of first meet discomfort. 

The meet was actually for the same day! This is also quite rare, but it does happen, and as a result, I got kind of excited. I then prepared in my usual way: Shower, shave, cologne, and dress up, but not enough to appear over dressed. A collared shirt and jeans are enough for guys, don't ask me what girls should wear. I know absolutely zip about matching colors and the like. White, blue, black, and dark patterned flannel is the extent of my personal wardrobe. I probably need to go on Queer Eye and get my wardrobe retrofitted because I have so many flannel shirts that my mom called me a lumbersexual. Thanks, mom! (Please don't be reading this). 

So I get ready, and we have a plan to meet at a hookah lounge. I'll make a post at a different point about choosing locations for dates, because "Let's go to coffee" or "Let's meet at a bar for drinks" are god awful date ideas. 

So, I get there and I'm ready for this date. It's going to be pretty fun! (Right?) Am I going to meet up with a hot gal right? (Right?) So there I am...waiting and she doesn't arrive at the appointed time (4PM). So I wait, ten minutes go by...she has still not arrived...fifteen minutes and I decide to call. 

It rings three times and she picks up. And real quickly, I see the first sign that this date was going to go badly (For once, I was wrong!) She explained to me that she had forgotten that we were meeting up that day...when we had straight up made a detailed plan to meet up a few hours prior. 

Join me next time for the continuation of this odd, yet charming story. 

 - End of Episode -

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