The walls of the study were covered in books on all sorts of things. The ground floor housed a cozy sitting area with an unlit fireplace. On an elevated platform sat a desk overflowing with papers and documents. My brother started going through the books looking for something that would indicate the species I had encountered. We had to have looked through dozens of books but there was nothing. Not one single mention of such a creature. We were about to give up when we heard footsteps closing in on us. The foreign sound of our father's voice could be heard through the door likely talking to one of his advisors. Laith instantly morphed into his crow form flying off out of a small window leaving me behind.

At the sound of a key turning in the door, I ran to hide out of direct view from the door behind the couch nearest to me. I heard a single set of footsteps enter the room and walk towards the steps leading up to the platform. I had to move, once he got to the top and turned around he’d spot me instantly. I risked a peek behind the couch and saw his back turned as he ascended the stairs. I took my chance and slowly crawled to the fireplace. I stepped inside and pulled myself up so he wouldn’t see my legs poking out of the chimney. My back against one wall with my legs bent against the opposite holding my weight up. It was extremely uncomfortable but better than having to deal with him.

I held myself in that uncomfortable position for about ten minutes before it really got bad. Not only were my legs and back hurt but it was also extremely cold down here. Apparently, my father had the same thought as he decided it would be a good idea to light a fire. There was no way to get to the top of the chimney, I was too big and there was no way to climb up anyway. I looked to the sky and saw a single looming crow looking down at me with sad eyes. It then flew away into the dark and glittering sky. I could hear my father attempted to start the fire below me. My heart started beating rapidly at the idea of being so near a flame. My eyes began to tear up and it became hard to breath after a while. The heat was intense and caused me to recall a memory I had tried so hard to forget. I tried inching away from the fire but there was no use and I couldn’t get out without alerting my father and getting myself burned. I tried to come up with what to do but came out blank. I was about to call for help from my father when the fire suddenly went out. I breathed a sigh of relief upon realizing. My heart slowed and my eyes dried.

“Why did you put out the fire?”

“I was too warm,” Nya’s familiar voice answered my father's question. Nya was there, most likely alerted by Laith. Thank the spirits they saved me. I wouldn’t have outlasted the fire. I would have simply burned along with it.

“Very well, I hope you are here to discuss the matter of your attendance at the ball.”

“Yes, father,” Nya replied with a moment of hesitation and a strained voice, “I was hoping we could discuss this with mother as well. She’s in the gardens at the moment, we could join her?” Louder, heavier footsteps than Nya’s walked to the door and opened and held the door till a much lighter pair of footsteps passed them. My father forcefully closed and locked the door behind him. At that moment my whole body collapses, more from stress than exhaustion really. I rolled out of the fireplace onto the cold wooden floor. Once my heart stopped beating so fast, I got up and noticed a glint of metal in the fireplace beside me. In between burnt logs and ashes laid a silver key. Laith must’ve dropped it in earlier for me. I picked it up out of the ashes, its heavy indent remaining behind, the only sign that I had ever entered this room, and walked straight out. I’m not sure if anyone noticed me but if they did they didn’t dare reproach me.

I kept my head down as I rushed outside. In a tall tree overlooking the gardens sat my brother, dangling his legs precariously as he watched me approach. I took hold of one of the steadier branches and my brother's arm and pulled myself up to his level. “Thanks for that,” I said, “One more minute and I would’ve been fried.”

Sadness and pity overtook Laith’s once stoic features. I hated it. I didn’t need his pity and sorrow. The scars and nightmares were enough of a reminder. Nya doesn’t look at me like that. Whenever it comes up she can’t look me in the eye anymore until we’ve all forgotten again. There’s always a strange look in her eyes, one I could only characterize as regret, which has always lead me to believe she had something to do with the incident of that night. Though I would never tell her directly, her eyes alone tell me to avoid the topic altogether. She has nightmares too. I’ve seen her cry silently in her sleep and the look in her eyes in the mornings she remembers her dreams. She has never once told me what she dreams about despite my insistence. My nightmares are always different and yet so similar.

The fire burns me, my clothes, my hair, my skin. It burns and I try to scream but I can’t. I’m trying to put out the fire with buckets of water and yet it only serves to feed it and strengthen it until it eats me alive. The fire burns around me, or my spirit forms a powerful lion apparently impervious to flames until the spirit keeping me safe leaves and I burn anyway. It always ends that way. With me burning in the middle. No matter how hard I try to fight it, it’ll always win. The worst ones are with her when she’s sitting there curled in a ball tears streaking her face. I’m helpless, only a child, weak, spiritless. If I could have flown out for help or been quick and brave enough to run through a blazing fire with her in tow. But I wasn’t, I’m not.