Though the school was new to her, there was a familiar routine that was easy enough to fall into - classes were on schedules, as were lunches and breaks, so there was very little time to be lost among the students and even less time to be nervous. She had been shown around by a member of the faculty and everyone here was nice enough. By her third class, she had already met a couple of people she could see herself becoming fast friends with.

Everyone seemed interested in her appearance, as per usual, and according to the bathroom stall covered in various writings, she was officially the 'albino chick that you should check out' before the day was over. Amanda decided that she was going to take that as a good thing and let her pride get a boost.

She was not oblivious about her appearance - Amanda did not consider herself to be beautiful by any means. Her face was too round, nose to long and to upturned at the end, her limbs to long and body unshapely, long but flat in all regards. She was cute, maybe even pretty when she did her makeup right, but not beautiful. What set her apart was her coloring. She was pale everywhere. Pale skin, pale lips, pale lashes, pale blond hair - her family had always affectionately called her moonbeam, a nickname shared with her Father and his Father before him for the similar appearances. The only thing that broke up her washed-out coloring where her dark brown eyes, a tight ring of honey around each of her pupils.

By the lunchtime, she was already the 'must see', according to the bathroom stall in the girl's bathroom. People couldn't believe that she didn't bleach her hair, girls reaching out to feel the soft texture of her hair to confirm it wasn't damaged. She didn't mind the attention. After seventeen years of everyone wanting to pet your hair and face, she was used to it.

By the time English rolled around, the nervous butterflies in her stomached settled enough that she didn't have to obsessively check the little stack of papers that all the students got to explain the school's rules, specifically the dress code, which seemed to be the biggest issue for her classmates, who growled and scowled every time they were reminded about the rules.

The teacher had been wrapping up what he expected of his students, of the caliber of essays he was expecting them to turn. She was trying to write down as much as she could when the teacher brought up how important it was to do proper citations when the girl next to her scoffed and said very quietly -

"Ugh. Another year of Mr. Peters going over our work with a fine toothed comb. Slit my throat now, please."

And Amanda had just lost it. She had broken the tip of her pencil into her paper, jolted, and then just started sobbing, right there in the middle of the class. She couldn't stop. She tried. She held her face, tried to will herself to stop, but couldn't. When the teacher began to make his way over to her with a look of genuine concern she bolted from the classroom and hide in the furthest stall of the girl's bathroom.

She didn't know how long she had been there crying. It couldn't have been longer than a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours, the only sound here her loud and childish wailing. She knew why she was crying. She knew what had triggered it, but she wasn't willing to allow herself to dwell on it. If she thought about it, thought about what she had seen, she couldn't pull herself back together.

And Amanda had to pull it together, terrified of what would happen if she let herself go.

She drew her knees up to her chin and tried to gather herself. She was able to swallow her wail, take a few calming breathes to stop the tears as well, but couldn't quite stop the sniffling. Her mind was blank, she forced it to be, but the emotions were still there, pouring out.

The door to the bathroom opened and she tried harder to be quiet, but the sniffling gave her away. There were careful footsteps, the sound of the sink's facet coming on, then a moment later, off. Amanda's sniffling got a little worse and she screwed her eyes shut to tell herself to stop, to pull it together.

There was a knock on the bathroom stall, then an unsure voice of a girl. "Hey...are you okay?"

She chewed on her bottom lip. She wanted to say yes, if only to be left alone, but lying had always made her extremely uncomfortable, like her entire system rejected it. She could lie, she had done it before, but she found it easier to just tell the truth as the overwhelming guilt, the unease and anxiety and the heavy drop in her stomach that followed were not worth it.

Her father was like that. He never lied. Ever.

Her Father.

Amanda began to cry again, hard sobs shaking through her entire body. She buried her head into her arms and stayed like that, hiding from everything. She lifted her head at the sound of scuffling to see someone crawling under the stall door on her elbows and knees. Amanda recognized her from two of her earlier classes, the girl named after a city and distinguishable by her dark ebony skin and bright, bright pink lipstick, matching the color of the scrunchie in her hair, her nail polish, leggings and blazer. She hadn't really been hanging out with too many others, just sort of read her book and gave a polite, bright smile to those that greeted her.

Amanda sniffled and buried her head again, chewing on her bottom lip. How embarrassing, crying in the bathroom on the first day.

The girl came over and placed a hand on her shoulder, her fingers warm and slightly wet from just having been washed. "What's wrong?" Amanda just shrugged, preferring silence over a lie. The girl clicked her tongue. "Come on now - we can't conspire if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Amanda shrugged again, but lifted her head when something soft was pressed to her forehead. She saw the girl offering her the ends of her scarf and Amanda gave her a wobbly smile, taking it to dab at her face. Luckily, she hadn't worn much eye makeup today. When she was done she returned it to the girl who tied it back around her neck and offered her best smile.

"I'm Sicily - you're Amanda, right?" Amanda nodded and the girl nodded as well. "Why are you crying?" Her face suddenly scrunched up in annoyance, "Is someone picking on you because you're the new girl?"

Amanda dropped her gaze and shook her head. "No...it's just...family stuff." she croaked, sniffling. "Some bad family stuff."

"Oh." Sicily said quietly. "I'm sorry. I know family stuff can be...upsetting."

Amanda nodded again, chewing on her bottom lip, pulling at a strand of hair as she sniffled. "I thought I was over it, but I guess not."

"What happened?" Sicily asked innocently. There was an openness to her big eyes, a curiosity that Amanda didn't think held a drop of malice.

Amanda didn't reply right away. Instead she stared at the ground. She shouldn't say - she didn't know Sicily. For all she knew, she could be the school gossip and everyone would know by tomorrow that Amanda was messed up and that'd be her title - the girl with issues. But the other girl seemed nice. Amanda dug the toe of her sneakers into the ground. "My Dad died last month."

Sicily's face fell. "I'm so sorry." Amanda shrugged. "I lost both my parents when I was little." Amanda looked up to her then to see a look of sympathy on her face. Sicily tucked her legs underneath her and sat close to Amanda, holding onto her knees. "Was he sick?"

"In the head." Amanda said quietly.

"How did he die?"

"He, um, he committed suicide."

The was a flash of surprise on Sicily's face that made Amanda flinch, but it was gone as soon as it came. "That's awful."

"Yeah. It...it came out of nowhere." Her voice began to tremble, "He was fine. Completely fine. And then..." She lifted her gaze to the cracks in the ceiling to trace them. "He just went crazy. Talking to himself." She let in a shuddered breath. "Lashing out. And then all the sudden he just..." She grabbed at her throat and rubbed at it, squeezing her eyes in a hard blink. For a moment all she could see was that woman on the floor, the look her Father gave her, like he hadn't even known her. Her face was wet again from all the fresh tears and Sicily handed her back her scarf, Amanda used it again with a quiet thank you. She didn't return it this time, instead keeping it against her face. "That was why we moved here. To get away from the memories, but they came anyway and I don't know what to do about it."

They sat in there in silence for a while. It wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, it was nice. It felt good to talk about it with someone that wasn't directly involved in it all. She couldn't talk to it with her mother or grandmother - they would get upset, and that was the last thing Amanda ever wanted, so she kept it to herself. Getting it out though helped her calm herself, and after a few more minutes she felt able to pull herself together and she was able to trade a little smile with the other girl.

Sicily helped her up and brought her over to the sink to help her clean up her face. Just as she finished the bell rang and they both turned to look toward the door. Sicily was the first to look back. "Well, it's over. The first day at a new school is always the worst."

"It wasn't that bad, really." Amanda insisted. "Just - just the last part, and it was my fault. No one was mean." She looked at her reflection and rubbed at her face, sniffling one last time before she reached up to fix the side ponytail that kept her long, ash-blond hair up. When she was all fixed she turned off the water and screwed her eyes shut again, wincing. "I ran out of English crying." She cracked open an eye to look to Sicily. "You think the teacher will be mad?" She asked in a tiny voice.

Sicily's face hardened. "No." She shook her head. "Not when I'm with you." She hooked her arm with Amanda's and pulled her out of the bathroom, marching through the crowds of students rushing to leave and entered the classroom Amanda had fled without word.

The teacher was concerned, but understanding – if not noticeably uncomfortable - when Sicily explained without shame that Amanda was having a 'rough time of the month', which had Amanda turning beet red from the roots of her hair all the way to her collarbone, but it got her off the hook. Once she collected her things she went with Sicily to her locker, where her bag was.

"I skipped my last class." Sicily said with a frown and a spin of her lock, turning to Amanda when she was done. "I just wasn't feeling it." She slung her backpack strap over her shoulder and walked with Amanda toward the exit, Amanda waving goodbye and exchanging smiles with familiar faces from earlier in the day, Sicily offering smiles as well, and others gave her smiles that almost edged on sympathetic.

When both girls established that no one was picking them up they decided to walk as long as they could together - they lived two streets apart, as it was.

As they walked Sicily told her about all the cool spots in town, where everyone hung out, who the most popular kids in school were. She said that she preferred hanging out in the library after school, where a couple of the clubs would go to use the conference rooms there.

When Amanda asked what books she liked Sicily whipped out the book Amanda had seen her reading earlier. "Interview With a Vampire. It's been out for a couple years, but when I asked the librarian for a vampire romance, she showed me this little gem. The sequel to this just came out, so I'm rereading the first so it's all fresh in my mind." Sicily said as she handed it to her, "Anne Rice is my new obsession."

Amanda opened it to read the jacket flap. "Is she any good?"

"My Aunt says she's trash, but I like her." Sicily stated. "I saw the Lost Boys last month and now I'm really into vampires. I've read all the classics - do you like vampires?" Sicily asked.

Amanda did not miss the hopeful tone in her voice. "I like, um, Dracula, but I didn't see the Lost Boys."

Sicily's eyes nearly bulged out of her eyes - "You haven't seen the Lost Boys yet?!" Amanda shook her head as she handed the book back to Sicily, who held it against her chest possessively with a wild look in her eyes. "Oh my God - you need to see it as soon as possible! It is the best movie ever!" She paused, pursing her lips. "You know, I would totally be down to seeing it again, if you want to go this weekend."

Amanda's face brightened. "That would be great!"

The talked the entire way to where Sicily pointed out was their parting street, the girls saying goodbye and making plans to walk together to school in the morning.