An Observer got kidnapped. By their own Twin, no less. Apparently. Who knows.

I’m just a citizen. Alnitak, family value of 45 139 88, gender value of 5. I don’t know anything beside what is around me. Or, didn't. And as of now, almost everything the City had recorded.

No, I’m not really the City News. We don’t have a City News. We’ve never had City News during my lifetime, which will probably end in five days. I’m your makeshift City News. The softcore generic amateur city news. I don’t even have a name for this channel. Sure, we have the channel number, #789. That could be us. The identification. I just typed 789 in a row because it was the top row of the num part of the num pad.

I don’t have a script to read from. I’m not sure why I am here. I know I am serving my community service time for the theft, but I really wish I had more direction.

So, Makeshift City News time.

Today’s weather is pretty darn good. It’s sunny but there’s just enough clouds to not be too sunny. Love it. Rain may follow, probably a sunshower, though life is uncertain.

Crime rate has been… The good news is that there are still no homicide. Almost no trespassing either. The bad news is that theft, especially cyberpirating, has reached a new record. Of the entire city’s libraries’ catalog, there are literally only two movies left that hadn’t been pirated yet, and if I name them here, they’ll get pirated the next second. And yes, I am here because of that kind of theft. Totally worth it. And so close to 100% completion.

So, about the Observer who got kidnapped by their own Twin: if any of you sees either of them, please report them to the police, and then to this channel. Or, if you want to skip a step, report them here.

You’d think my crime would be equal part bad as having a Twin out there. By the way, if you are listening to this without subtitles, you might not notice the capital on the T for Twin. I really meant to say a Dupe, but I said Twin until now due to a force of habit. Twin sounds better than Dupe, doesn’t it? We always have some kind of terminology debate. Bap or bun, gay or queer, pain au chocolat or chocolatine. Now it’s Twin or Dupe. And like gay or queer, there is risk of one being a slur and nobody agrees on which one. I like Twin. Official documents say Dupe. I’ll say both. We all know what I mean: an illegal duplication of a person, in this case to live a life the original could not.

Come on. It’s the same as pirating a movie except it’s worse because a sentient and sapient living being is involved resulting two of such living beings. But I’m the one doing community service after getting slapped with criminal record. They-

I’m really not sure if this is better or worse. It really depends on what the duplicate had in mind. Has in mind rather, since they are probably still alive. We are not sure how many copies of that person are out there. From the file I just read before starting this session, I believe there might be at least three involved. But that’s just my guess, yours is as good as mine unless you do already know how many are involved.

Now. Regarding the usual rituals involved with the Crossroad Child. By the way, this should be a scandal, I hope we stop this ritual very soon. The current Child will be terminated at 5 PM today, as usual, so bring flowers to form the ring of adoration at the usual place of Black Temple. If you wish to self-immolate next to them, you are welcome to do so, special fuel will be provided to make the experience as painless as possible. And yes, Twins are allowed, and really we should outlaw this because we act like some neolithic barbarians with this ritual. Child sacrifice of the clone of an adult is still the same human child sacrifice ritual in bygone times but with modern technology involved. And it’s not saving the original. You are just killing a newborn sibling of the person. Or not exactly, since he does do the consciousness ride thing with the source body suspended so the original is there for the death, though nobody confirmed or denied about the consciousness in the sacrificial body. The one before the override. I’m getting into something like the zygote debate again so I-

Hey. Wait, let’s go back a bit. Clone. We used to use that word few centuries ago, didn’t we? Maybe we should bring that back. It’s not worse than Dupe.

Just stop killing people for no good reason already, can we? There are so many ways to cheat through this and we still have to kill a person every once a while. Argh. That’s it, I have to stop now or I’ll rant forever.

On the topic of the boyfriend. The Boyfriend. Mr Crossroad’s boyfriend. He’s still hot. Many may claim they have a custom made companion of this and that brand with this and that feature, and then we have him. No brand, no blueprint, no checklist of features and warranties. Just a bit of faith and love and he grew up fine in the way only a Natural could. That dual-core though, Naturals don’t have it. Shining bright like a binary star.

He won’t be self-immolating himself either this time, usual reason. And I love this part about him. Some past companions had insisted to accompany the Crossroad Child in ritual death for sake of emotions. And then what? It cost us extra tax money and we didn’t even get that much morale boost. And yet our Jupiter won’t, so he could witness the sacrifice, keep himself at peak performance for the weather control job, during the ritual too, and also save us some money. And if you think about it, what takes more bravery, to witness a beloved’s death or die alongside them?

I believe it is brave of him.

I also have access to his therapy reports, so I’m cheating here. I’m not a stalker only because I read over a hundred people’s confidential files, at this point it’s just research. Don’t worry, I’ll lose this memory once I’m out of this booth anyway, nothing is going to leak. Except if I say it here, then everybody is going to hear it. So, [data censored], you better not rub me the wrong way while I still have access to this booth. Huh? [data censored]. [data censored]. Wow, this mic really does censor any name not on the public list. The rude guy who camped me in MMORPG using all premium gear. There. I am now communitiservicely obligated to shade people if I am to blackmail them, unless they are public figures.

Ah. Lunch time break. Love ya mom, love ya cultiva tank, love you all listeners and whoever. Leave me messages. Be back in an hour.