Chapter 1: Delusions of Pleasure.
Good Renders Everyone’s Emotional Doom
I was frozen in time; motionless silence; as if I were a statue, as if I couldn’t move for the fear of what may happen if I became fearful at this moment of time. How long could I delay the inevitable absolute balance from happening; as the single tear rolls down my cheek; the flashbacks begin once more. The memories that time as corrupted into delusions; nightmares far from the truth that had created those beautifully flawed creations, those acts of gods, those actions of inevitable chaos, those maddening thoughts. It was the distance too far from perception to be properly remembered from the time of its creation; the memory takes over like a flood of emotion rushing such perceptions to the awareness embraced.
“Such distance still gaining from your memory I seek.”
Such beauty, such delightful embrace, such wonderful sights; all I could imagine, all I could ever want, all my needless desires; all in one place. The view is a delight to witness; such colors that comfort thine eyes, which draws me closer into it; as if a beautiful siren’s acapella drawing in wondering adventurers. I walk through the bountiful, flawless, lush, weedless garden; every tree, bush, and even vine bore fruit. The perfection of this place however is slowly sickening me; like a disease corrupting my very existence with each breath I take; why do I seek my own destruction?
“Mecka, what are you doing out here all by yourself?”
A nude pale skinned blue eyed man with long gorgeous black hair walks up to me.
“Nicin, I was just sitting here; I guess, I just wanted to be alone.”
Nicin begins to chuckle, then extends his big open hand to me; I place my petite hand into his comforting palm; he leads me like a mother would lead a child; further into the emptiness of this perfected world; this life that despises me so, this perception that I yearn to change into something more. Nicin leads me to an open field; long as far as the eyes could possibly see; while the rich soiled earth below grew every flower I could have ever imagined; colors that call out to my soul as it captures me into its magnificence. We start walking into this infinite flower garden; taking our time to take in all its glory.
The sudden breeze sways all the flowers; mixing the colors as if a child painting for the first time; the wind rushes past us causing a chill to travel up my spine, which gives me that second of ecstasy, that feeling which is my constant reminder of the emptiness of this place, this lonely paradise ruled by fools; like being trapped in a cage with an open door leading to nowhere, to no-one new; all the same faces, personalities, and their non-egotistical sub-consciousness, which is all that is known; like a law that must be obeyed; for if thine fall astray from its grace; thou shall subject to its wrathful wrack.
“Ha, ha, ha, such foolish perceptions that we must obey, for we must be happy living as pets; never to bite thy hand of our feeder.”
Nicin calls out to me; he is ahead of me still walking; how long have I been standing here? Nicin calls out to me again as if I were his pet, as if I have to follow him, as if he is scared of being alone, as if he has to be with others to function within his own egotistical addiction. Nicin walks up to me, but as he approaches the wind began to suddenly blow sending chills up my spine, and for that brief second of ecstasy that I despise so; I wonder who this stranger is walking up to me, I wonder why he looks angry, I wonder what I did wrong. I suddenly snap back to reality, or what I like to call reality. Nicin stands before me, and extends his open palm; I do nothing but look upwards to the towering giant with his huge gentle hand welcoming me to his comforting embrace.
I slowly place my hand in his palm; he clinches my hand, he will not let go again. How can I welcome his embrace when his egocentric pride pushes me away? I simply let my arm go limp and allow him to lead me astray from where I first wanted to go, I suddenly realize that we are going to the one place I never wanted to go to again. Nicin stops then suddenly lowers his arm gripping onto my hand; forcing me to the rich, lush, bright green grass, which comforts my fall like a bed of clouds. I lay on the ground looking to the cloudless sky; its warm, light blue color welcomes my weary eyes to the glory shared by others lying on the same earth as I; if only there were others to share such a sight with; like being lonely, while surrounded by others, by foolish creatures, by all knowing idiots.
“Mecka, come!”
I look to Nicin and try to smile, but I couldn’t do it; I wouldn’t do it to appease his ego. He kneels down beside me and grabs my hand to force me to my feet. I close my eyes and go completely limp; he picks me up and places me across his broad shoulder. I decide to simply go to sleep, and allow these actions of inevitable chaos to happen. I dream, a dream; that beautiful dream in which I dreamed, that dream that was as if a fading fantasy; as I wake from that dream, that beautiful dream. Nicin drops me to the ground, but there is no soft green grass to comfort my fall. I hit the ground like a fallen tree to bare land, I lay on the ground looking to the sky for thine weary eyes, but there is no warmth to be found; only a darkened cloudy sky filled with such sorrows that somehow comforts me from the perception at hand. I rise to my feet to see Nicin and Dren standing before me.
(Dren looks just like Nicin; like a clone, an identical twin)
I try to understand why he wants to seek such acknowledgment that will only corrupt a fool such as him.
“Mecka, come with me and let us live forever.”
That statement brought a smile to my saddened face; I walk up to him, and he extends his open palm to me.
“Nicin, leave us!”
Nicin looks at me with an evil look then turns towards Dren and bows down to him; he then walks out of sight. A sudden fog engulfs us, while the darkened clouds begin to dissipate allowing the moonlight to shine down upon us. The moonlight covered the barren earth below our feet; moon-lilies grew out of the ground at an accelerated rate and bloomed all around us; filling the barren earth with a glorious, glowing, white flower garden.
“Mecka, the tree of acknowledgment will blossom soon giving us the perception of the Finity Omega; power, which will be ours!”
We both turn around and look to the precious moon-fruit tree, the tree of acknowledgment, the tree of maddening thoughts. The seeds on the tree branches began to grow into moon-fruit at an accelerated rate. Dren and I both extend our hands upward to the leaf-less, dead looking, fruit barring tree; we both have a fruit in hand, we look at these white, pulsating, cherry sized fruit that draws us into its magnificence; this small fruit was heavy as if it were a large rock.
“Mecka, are you ready to become a god.”
Dren eats his fruit whole, while I eat all but the seed; we both find our-selves looking to the full moon hovering above; drawing us further into its glorious magnificence. Dren suddenly opened his eyes wide and covered his penis then ran behind a bush of berries. I look towards him then back to the warmth of the moon; the darkened clouds begin to slowly engulf the moonlight’s embrace, while the moon-fruit and moon-lilies fade back to nothing.
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