I left my chance at finding love, I left my chance at finding happiness and of ever trusting people again. I was sure nobody would want to marry me after what happened and I was not sure about me wanting to get married anyway;  the only girl I trusted did not even trust me.

After that day my blue life became colourless. Nothing have changed but everything did. Suddenly, I could not live the same routine life; I was broken and felt broken, I used to dream but now if am lucky I would have some dreamless nights, I always wanted to be better but now I lost the simplest desires; I wanted nothing. I worked hard all my life but it held no value for in her eyes and in the world’s eyes I will always be a RED.

 Whatever I do will never be enough because I was once a RED. I felt stained or scared written on my forehead REFUSED. I felt shamed, cursed; Hey you’re red, Oh Poor Red, You’re worst of the worst, a place filled with piled dead. 

When I was a kid they used to chant “RED, Oh RED you better turn out DEAD”. They might have been right. Maybe death would have been merciful. Maybe I should’ve died when my mother did.

Still now I am a blue, I work like a blue, dress like one, too. I live like a blue, why they still see me red. Even my blue life did not last. The curse of being ungrateful.