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I grew up without a dad.

My mother was always dating someone but, I never had to call them dad. I know my real dad was in jail. I also know why. He raped my little sister when she was 3. I came back when he was gone and she was dead. I suppose its sad. But I dont think about it. Thinking is easy but dangerous. I overthink things, and overthinking makes things darken around the eges, I hallucinate, and see big figures flicking throughout my vision.

My mom currently a new boyfriend, he wasn't all that bad. I learned to just go with it. Take what i can get from them and then watch my mom cry in her room because they dumped her for someone else.

It want that hard to watch people come and go, but this new one was hard to deal with. He was pushy, always around me for some reason, if i wasn't home neither was he, but when i was, he would randomly appear out of nowhere. Even if my moms not home.

I was in my room when he walked in. He looked surprised to see me, as if he didn't expect me to be their. I had a day off from school so i was home.

"Oh hello, why are you here? Momma isn't home yet." I ssked him, expecting a normal answer.

He was cute, momma claimed to love him more than anything in the world.

But even a dead fish can tell that he doesn't feel the same. He is just using her like all the others. He only likes her body.

He smiled and leaned on the door frame." How are you max?" He asked with a smirk.

"G-good" I stuttered suddenly nervous of what he was going to do. He never cared before, so why does he now?

" Why so nervous? I'm just your dad. Nothing to be scared of." He said his smile changing into something sinister . "Be a good boy and call me daddy from now on, with a face a cute as yours it'll be such a turn on."

..... But......

"No thank you." I said firmly. I will never be comfortable saying that.

His smile disappears I did something wrong again. " Come here!" He said, roughly grabbing my arm and dragging me to up the stairs and towards my room. " Your supposed to be daddy's cute play toy but now you'll just be dead." He said darkly.

I got worried as he opened the door to my room. He went inside and threw me on bed, chuckling darkly while I layed there motionless.

"W-What are you going to do?!" I looked at him, eyes wide.

"Im gonna punish you." He says, turnning me to lay on my stomach, he grabbed my arms and held them against my lower back. "Now your going to be quiet and accept this like a man. No screaming, no yelling and most of all, no fighting." He said. "Good boys listen to daddy, and if not you moms gonna have to take the pain instead."

After pulling down my pants he unzipped his. I was already scared and if that wasn't good enough I knew what he was going to do.

I drowned out all sensations and noises, focusing on my thoughts as they swam around my head.

Momma doesn't deserve pain, she's already been through so much, and she is trying to love again.

I can't take that from her,

I'm not supposed to be here. I thought, slowly being pulled out of consciousness. Hearing soothing whispers in my head as i saw and felt the darkness consume me.

I wake up in my bed feeling absolutely terrible. I knew that I wasnt gonna be able to stand properly for a while. This had happened once before, 2 years ago, my moms friend had done it then. My mom didnt care though, and my school didn't question. I wanted to get up. But I'm not good with pain. I'm frail. And can't handle much. So I'll stay in bed for now, trying not to think. Just being empty like how everyone wants me to be. Just being that pile of trash they can ruin even more. Accepting my fate as a tool and a toy, a good for nothing nobody.

I thought nothing else as I stared up at my ceiling in a daze. Failing at my objective.

I think about school and how summers gonna end soon. How I'll be placed back in a community of haters, of people who seem to like throwing demeaning notes at me, and of people who aren't scared to punch and kick me till i pass out.

I think of everything while i stare at my pale white ceiling. Wondering when this will all stop.

The following content is intended for mature audiences.