I stood there bewildered. What’s honeysuckle ? Why would she call me honeysuckle? Wait. Alaska is as obsessed with flowers as I’m obsessed with space. Maybe it has a meaning?
“I read somewhere that all flowers have meanings.”
“Uhm I’m trying to have a private moment here? I mean you were helpful so thanks but if you could leave that would be great…”
“But you’ve had so much time to yourself with that whole trip with your grandfather and etc?”
“How did you know about that?”
“I’m you idiot.”
“True… Now leave.”
I practically ran home to use the wifi. There’s not a chance in hell that I’m gonna use my data when the wifi is only a few minutes away. When I got home, I typed in, “What’s the meaning of a honeysuckle flower?" so fast that my computer’s keyboard almost lost a few keys.
“Honeysuckles signify happiness.”
I’m her happiness… My heart sank under the weight of the reality of the fact that she loved me in her own unique and cryptic way. I just wish she was straightforward about it. But love is about accepting each other for who we are flaws and abstruse ways. Wait…
I typed in : “Daylily Lyrics”
And with my luck and intuition combined gave me the exact results my soul had beckoned for. Honeysuckle is mentioned in the song. Essentially she was saying that I had helped her on her journey to getting better and becoming happy.
And then it struck me. Dew formed on the honeysuckle. I saw it all captured in the light as it refracted on the single tear I had wiped away. The air not only carried light but meaning as it reflected to my eyes.
In it I saw what it meant to mean something to someone finally... To feel as if I were a star in her galaxy. It felt as if that emptiness was filled. No matter how dangerous seeking validation is. I found it. Joy with a touch of melancholy. I realised simultaneously that the flaw of my negative validation. When she stops needing me, it won’t be the end of a star but not its galaxy.
The night ended there with a strange medley of elation, loss and my run of the mill depression. This was a weird way to end one of the last days of our term 3 holidays. School seemed to fly by and before we knew it, it was only 3 weeks before the exams. One Saturday morning, I awoke to find out I was in a group chat for Ophelia’s birthday. A plethora of people were invited but that didn’t matter Alaska and Vanessa were also invited so I was going to be fine. Somehow even though it was a week before the exams almost everyone could come. I guess that was just a testament to how much everyone loved Ophelia Quinn. She was a woman of the people I guess. Whether it was because she was beautiful, athletic, morally just, intelligent or had the soul of a saint she was loved by all for some reason or another. For me? It was her kindness and how she had given me a cradle of safety from the reality of my thoughts.
The day of the party arrived swiftly. I had to start getting ready a few hours before hand. I had the tendency to get distracted and let my mind wander. I decided to go with the fan favourite of an off-white distressed jeans, with a pale yellow elongated t shirt with a slightly baggy a pastel pink sweatshirt that creates a slimming effect. I paired this with black nmd city socks to balance the outfit with a black dad hat tying my hair up in a neat low hanging bun. This entire outfit creating a very suitable relaxed outfit that somehow it indicated that I knew what I was doing. But it didn’t matter how casual it was. We were just going to braai and chill with our friends and celebrate Ophelia in general.
I went to go pick up Alaska. She wore a faded black vintage band hoodie (don’t worry she actually listens to the band.) A pair of boyfriend jeans, cuffed at the ankles with fishnet stockings showing through the jeans’ distressing paired with a slightly worn in Air Force ones. She somehow was different yet similar enough to compliment me. Honeysuckle x Daylilies.
We saw Vanessa outside Ophelia’s place luckily so all three of us could step into the unknown world of Ophelia’s friend pool. Vanessa showed up to tonight wearing a mustard yellow turtleneck layered with a dungaree dress with shin length frilly socks paired with black old skools. She wasn’t particularly adventurous but she knew what she was doing.
Anyways we approached the gate and it opened. We were greeted by an empty house and the sound of nothing. We looked outside but there was no braai. No one. So we searched around until we found her room. Ophelia laid there in the fetal position clenching a pillow for warmth, for something, in a beautiful dress sprawled out on her bed casting her shell revealing the meek and gentle girl that she was. She was finally vulnerable. She cried the silent tears of someone too far gone for sound.
“Ophelia?”
“Oh. It’s you guys.” she said sniffling and stifling tears in a robotic and monotone voice devoid of her usual cheer.
“Yah. We’re here for your party. You don’t look like you’re dressed for it?”
“No. This is the dress I wore when I last saw him a few months ago at a wedding. I swore ours would be next…”
Vanessa gesture to me with her finger spinning in a circle on the side of her head.
“Stop that!” I whispered angrily at her with tiny subtle chuckle. “So what’s up? Where’s everyone?”
“Oh haven’t you heard the party was cancelled?”
“Oh, how come we didn’t hear?” chimed in Vanessa.
She sat up. “Because we’re going to fix this. Fix us.”
“Dude. You sound crazy... What’s wrong? Start from the beginning.”
“Ok. So he and I have been childhood friends because our parents were old friends. I know it’s cliche but I fell for him, my childhood friend. We were the stuff of manga and light novels. Cute kids destined to have a future together. We used to see each other often until we were about 10? Then they moved to another province but they always came down for my birthday. It’s a tradition. It’s been 6 years now and they still came. But he didn’t. He was with his new girlfriend. Jocelyn Flores. We shared a birthday and he chose her over me. I swear he liked me though. I just wish I could know. To find closure. If only I could go back…” She looked up from the floor and her gaze was immediately thrown at me. “Oliver, please…”
I was greeted by a backhand to the head.
“Who said you could tell people about your time travelling? What if it broke your connection to the essence of time or something?”
“Uhm… I honestly didn’t think that far ahead?”
“Your lucky there’s no rule against it...”
“Yes ma’am.” I said cowering in fear of Alaska. “Anyways do you think we could try and fix her situation?”
“Sure why not? What’s the worst that could happen. We could only disrupt the very fabric of the space time continuum.”
“So we’re agreed, it’s not that bad?”
And quickly Vanessa and Ophelia knew this was their ticket to their next escapade. Suddenly it was 2015. So it was basically 2016 just a little less shit.
“So how are we gonna get to this wedding?”
Vanessa pulled out her phone. “Simple. We uber there.”
“Uber came to our city in 2016…” bashfully added Alaska.
“We’ll hire a taxi I guess?” I suggested.
“I can drive.” chimed Alaska
“How?” asked Vanessa
“Well I’m going for my learners soon. So my mom has been teaching me.”
“Oh. We’ll just have to take one of the cars at Ophelia’s place.”
“This is super illegal but if anything goes wrong, we’ll just go back to before we do it and go back to the original timeline.”
“So why aren’t you robbing banks yet?” sarcastically asked Vanessa.
“Because I’m a good person? Duh.”
“Damn it! Why haven’t I thought of that yet?”
“Because you’re an idiot?”
“Shut up. I get bullied by others enough don’t let me bully myself."
“But you’re such an easy target?”
And they disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Soon all four of us were on the road with Alaska at the wheel. She was really good as if she’s done this a million times… The wedding was about an hour out of the city limits. We left Ophelia’s at 4PM so we’d reach there at about 6PM giving her the perfect opportunity to have her moment under the evening/ night sky. I sat in the front with Alaska fearing for my life and vanessa was stuck in the back by herself. I mean Ophelia was there but she was out of it she gazed out the window ignoring now for the future. Her mind was probably racing towards a moment years in the making wondering if it was all a mistake as if her beliefs were a half-truth. We could only wonder what the brightest sun could think when eclipsed.
I was in charge of music (well to be fair I put myself in charge but whatever) and connected my phone with bluetooth to the. As if by fate on shuffle my phone decided the best song for the situation was “Orlando” by XXXTENTACION. It was a beautiful and sombre rap ballad of a damaged and broken teenager who lost belief in everything including himself after his girlfriend cheated on him leading to his arrest.
It was horrible but accurate reading but damn it was a nice dramatic song to drive through. No matter what I thought, it did cause an awkward silence but you’d like to think it gave her some solace in not feeling alone.
After that I put on a lofi playlist that kinda created a more neutral atmosphere as lofi is more implicit in its meaning sometimes. But it fitted watching the sunset in a car with my best friends and my dream of a girlfriend while listening to my favourite type of music. Only to be weighed down by the thought that we can’t all enjoy this moment together. It ruins the moment and that’s why we’re here because I’d do anything for the people in this car. I’d sacrifice the space time continuum for all of them. I mean sure I’d do anything for Alaska but Ophelia and Vanessa’s happiness still mean the world to me. I may not voice it or let them know it 24/7. I might even make it seem as if I feel the opposite but I’d like to think the moments like this where I do show it count more.
Soon we reached the farm. They had their wedding in a barn lit by fairy lights with a very rustic hipster feel but no one could deny how aesthetically pleasing it was. He was nearby. Hopefully at the same tree where they had spent most of the wedding on the last timeline.
She was gone for a couple of hours. Vanessa sat stretched out on the back seat and Alaska lent over onto my shoulder resting after a long drive. I’m still amazed with her driving capabilities. Viewing the unfaulted stars of the ‘countryside’. But the fault was soon to be clear. Soon Ophelia returned. She came with same look she left with.
I decided to clear the air. “How’d it go?”
She began to spin the tale of how she ducked and swerved her way through the outskirts of the wedding. Only to walk down a lone path dragging her dress with her. Not caring because as long as he was there he could end her torment. All this would be worth it. Because love is worth the end of the space-time continuum. She told me how I always spoke about the stars and fate and how romantic it sounded. But we are not the stars. We are our own hearts and minds intertwined with our past and present. We are experiences that we ourselves created through butterflies and bubbles. And that we have to create those experiences at the expense of the universe for the sake of our own happiness.
Soon by a nearby hill there stood a tree the hung an old forgotten swing that held him up. He sat waiting for a girl that never seem to come but his face lit up when he saw Ophelia. It was her. She was that girl unbeknownst to her. But of course he didn’t show this, he was a guy. He had to play it cool.
“Hey. where’ve you been?”
“Looking for you?”
“Oh..” he replied looking away from her in embarrassment.
“I have something very important to tell you…”
“What?”
“So I like you. I’ve liked you since we were 10 years old. And if we’re being honest I’ve loved you since then too. Since that day we met at a ‘pool party’ that our parents had. I’ve spent 5 years in silence. But a wise friend told me something about the stars and fate and it reminded me how I should do the same. I’ve wanted to do this for so long because the distance is daring but roadways are but stones and gravel.”
“Uhm…”
“I mean I can deal with the distance. You’re worth it.”
“Oh.”
“What do you mean ‘Oh’ ?”
“It’s just so sudden…”
And then Ophelia’s heart sank. These weren’t words of mutualistic love.
“...I mean, I’ve felt the same but this feels so unreal.”
“Wait. What?”
“ I feel the same. I’ve always liked you.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Why would a girl like you like a guy like me?”
“Because you’re adorable? And your one of the softest, most wholesome and sweet guys I know. And that’s the guy I fell for.”
“I think I’m gonna cry…”
“Please don’t because then I’m gonna cry and I don’t want you to see that. I’m an ugly crier.”
“Me too.”
We both laughed it off and spoke for a couple hours till his mom called and said they’d be going home.
“And that ends my tale of love 6 years in the making.”
“Ok, good. I’m kind of exhausted after hours of being here.” I said.
“Oh right. Sorry. I totally forgot about the effects on you and the rest of us.”
And so I flashed us back to 2016.
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