I opened my door and checked to see if dad was around. Thankfully he was still downstairs. I walked quietly to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. What I saw was nothing. My gaze followed the scratches bleeding on my arms. I can’t let anyone see them. They’ll send me to mental hospital.

I wet a rag and cleaned all of the blood off of my arm. The scratches seemed to stop bleeding. I was kind of energy that they stopped so soon. I felt like it wasn’t enough. Oh well. It was already getting late. I opened the bathroom door and walked back to my room.

I sighed and grabbed my phone after hearing a notification. Sam had texted me following a bunch of other messages he sent earlier.

Sam: You’ve been gone for a while and you left so abruptly… I hope everything is okay

Sam: I’m getting lonely

Sam: please message me :(

Sam: Okay, if there’s a problem and it’s something personal I understand and you don’t have to talk about it but please let me know you’re okay

Nate: I’m fine… I just had to do something

Nate: I’m not on my phone 24/7 I have other things to do

Sam: I’m sorry… I was just worried

Nate: It’s okay, you don't have to worry about me! I’m fine :)

Sam: I’ll try not to be so clingy?

Nate: No, it’s okay. I’m just not used to having friends so this is all new and weird to me that’s all

Sam: If it means anything, I’m the same way.. I mean, I have like two really good friends but that’s all

Sam: They’re dating so it can be a bit awkward sometimes XD

Nate: ooh

Nate: Can I ask you a question?

Sam: You just did lol im friggin hilarious high five to me yas

Nate: … I’m being serious

Sam: oh, I’m sorry

Nate: It’s okay.. I wanted to ask why you chose me? I even tried to ignore all of your notes. So why ask me to your friend?

Sam: wellllllllllllll You’re adorable for starters XD you seem really interesting I guess. Idk i have this feeling that we’re very different but at the same time very similar?? Like fate??

Nate: … that’s so cliche

Sam: I know.. But if I’m being honest, I wanted to be your friend for a while now but I never had a good time to walk up and talk to you and I never even knew your name XD… plus you always looked like something was on your mind and I never wanted to interrupt

Nate: so what about when you saw me outside the night before?

Sam: I saw you when you were already asleep and I recognized you.. It’s winter and cold and windy out at night and I didn’t want you to get sick but you also looked really peaceful so I gave you my blanket so you could keep warm

Nate: oh

Nate: thank you

Sam: Hey come on now, don’t be like that, no need to be so formal! I did what anyone should do.. Nothing special about it

Nate: So where do you want to meet tomorrow?

Sam: It could be in the morning at your locker.. Since I know where it is…….

Nate: you stalker lol

Nate: but that sounds good

Sam: I can’t wait :)

Sam: I have homework that I’ve been procrastinating and I should probably do it now but eh

Nate: You should do your work. Get that edumacation bro

Sam: But I want to keep talking :(

Nate: We can talk tomorrow, I promise

Sam: Okay, bye bye

Nate: bye

I shut off my phone and laid back on my bed. Had I finally made a friend? I took hold of Benny and hugged him for support. Would he still want to be my friend if he knew everything? Do I even deserve a friend like him? I really want to know him though. But should I? Will I end up hurting him too? I’ll decide after I meet him tomorrow.

It’s getting dark and I start to grow tired. It’s still only seven, though, so there’s no way can I go to sleep now. Maybe I should take a shower to pass time. I went back to the bathroom and looked in the mirror again. My floppy ginger hair, and my pale skin covered in freckles. My dull gray-blue eyes. I don’t understand what he means by cute.

I looked away from the mirror and stripped down and got in the shower. The warm water was comforting but the same time dreadful. The scratches on my arm stung as the water touched them. The pain felt nice and it almost felt addicting in a way.

I let my mind wander. I let my own thoughts run wild instead of constantly thinking about dad said earlier. I found myself thinking about him. About Sam. Thinking about what he’d look like, how he’ll act in real life, how we will get along. The rest of the time spent in the shower was all thinking about Sam.

After my shower, I headed to my room. I checked the time on my phone and it was past 9. I had no idea I’d been in the shower for that long. It really didn’t seem like two full hours. I layed down on my bed and Benny curled up next to me. My phone vibrated. I’d received a message from Sam. He really does like to text a lot.

Sam: Heyo! Sorry I didn’t text sooner, homework took longer than expected... Idk what time you normally go to bed so if your asleep and this wakes you up sorry for waking you up? But if your not asleep then I hope you have a good night because I’m probably going to bed soon!

Nate: firstly, who in all honesty goes to bed at 9? secondly, *you’re, thirdly, if you’re up for it I don’t mind talking some more

Sam: :p who are you the grammar police?

Nate: oh nO my cover is bloWn what eveR shaLL I do nOW?!?

Sam: … I’ve never see you type like that before… does this mean YOU’RE growing on mE SHDKFJSDFSDFKJ?????

Nate: lol, I’m not some hermit! don’t just assume that because I’m anti-social idk how to type funny

Sam: awww did i offend you?

Nate: oh hush and i see you got the right you’re that time too

Nate: good job, you deserve an award

Sam: oh? ;)

Nate: ..... Perv

Sam: I’M SORRY! iT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN I’M NOT A PERV I PROMISE

Nate: looks like I’ve offended you now XD and don’t worry, I know it was only a joke lol

Sam: my fewings r hurt

Nate: you poor wittle boy

Sam: Do you mind if I ask you a question? If it’s too personal you don’t have to answer.

Nate: Sure

Sam: Why were you outside the other night? Did something happen?

Nate: I just like that spot and fell asleep there I guess…

Sam: But you didn’t have a jacket, or shoes on.. Why weren’t you wearing those things? You could’ve gotten sick

Nate: I was in a hurry to get there. I just really wanted to go and I forgot about them

Sam: Oh

Sam: Anyways, It’s getting a bit late, I should head to bed

Sam: oh that rhymed lol goodnight!

Nate: night

What a cheesy kid. Texting me a goodnight message. He’s sweet I’ll give him that though. I just hope he doesn’t get bored of me. He makes me feel like how mom made me feel. He makes me feel happy and cared for. Maybe I’m just thinking about it too much though. But, maybe he’ll finally help me to have a normal life with normal friends again.

Maybe this is my chance for a new beginning.