"You wanna tell me now?" Nole asked softly and I sighed. "Look I don't wanna talk about it." I mumbled and a tear fell form my eye. I brushed it away and bit my lip. "Damien?" He said in my ear. "Look I'm not a good person Nole. I fucked people up. I ruined their lives because they wronged me." I finally said after a long pause. He was quiet for a bit.

I stared at a spot on the wall and closed my eyes, willing back tears. "Damien... what do you mean?" He said lowly, his voice steely. "I got someone addicted to crack cocaine. They died because I willingly gave them to much." I felt him still and retract his arms. I hugged my knees to my chest. "I also got someone addicted to Heroine. Someone jumped off a bridge from my taunting. I made someone come out and their parents killed him."

I closed my eyes finally admitting all my mistakes. Nole was quiet and I heard his swear. "What the fuck is wrong with you Damien. Why the hell did you do that?" He said, his voice getting louder. "I don't know." I said softly, my eyes still closed. He punched me and I took it. He beat me to a pulp like I knew he would. I closed my eyes and willed it all to go away. Of course it didn't and the next day I had a black eye and a busted lip.

I quietly walked outside and avoided everyone. It was 6am in the morning. I sighed, exhaling smoke. I watched as it swirled in the air. My stomach growled for food but I ignored it. "Fuck." I say and kick a pebble. Funny how people hate me after they hear all the things I did. I hate myself to. I never meant for any of that stuff to happen. It just did.

I wiped away my tears and heard Jack coming over to me. "Damien?" He asks and I turn to him. "What." I snap and his eyes widen. "Damien..." "Go away" Jack. I say and press the stub to my finger to put it out. He sighs and leaves, shaking his head. I turn back and head to the library. It's quiet. I grab a book and head to the back corner. 

I sit down at a table and try to concentrate on reading. Kids come in and out through the day. I wake up to the librarian politely telling me it was curfew. I smile painfully at  her and head toward the dorms. I sigh and take a sharp turn to get outside. I jump the fence and walk down the street. I shiver since it was cold and I only had on jeans and a t-shirt. 

"Hey Damien. You fucked up yet another person's life." Marie says and I ignore her. "I bet you did." She called and I blinked back tears. I quickly went to the only place I could think of. I sat on the bench and rubbed my good eye. I'd have to go back for classes tomorrow. I sigh and curl up. I wake up to a bird cawing.

"Fuck." I mumble and run back to the school. It was noon. I swore and hopped over the fence. I ran to the dorm and showered quickly. I changed and ran to the classroom. Mr.McRay raised his eyebrow. "Thought you wouldn't have shown at all." I glared at him and sat in my seat. I felt Nole's eyes on me as I slouched my way back there.

Didn't help that everyone seemed to be glaring at me. I bit my lip and winced. I tasted blood and almost threw up.  The day went by slowly as I got continues glares and punches thrown my way. News spreads fast. Charlotte won't even look at me. She didn't know what I did either. The next few weeks were painful as I got more and more beatings. I resorted back to playing with peoples minds before I knew it.

I smirked at the boy who was staring at me. He blushed and I sauntered up to him. "Fancy a drink." I say and he smiled. "Sure." I grin and give him some whiskey. We chat and I smile sweetly saying goodbye. I turn around and smack into Nole. "Uh.." I mumble and run out. He yells and follows me. I gasp for a breath and round a corner. I hear him close behind me. I launch myself into the busy traffic but get pulled back.

"WHAT THE HELL." Nole yells in my ear as I struggle to get away from him. I finally get free and take off running the way we came. Marie smirks on a streetlamp and trips me. I hold back a cry of pain and stand up. I continue sprinting. The cold air stings the back of my throat as I see a large truck. I launch myself in front of it. It honks and Nole grabs my arm, pulling me out of the way just in time.

"DAMIEN." He screams in my ear. I'm shaking uncontrollably and he notices. I use his surprise to yank my hand away and run back to the school. I launch myself over the fence but my foot hits it. I bite my tongue and hang onto a branch. I flip over it and jump out of the tree. My body weaves around students as tears begin to fall.

"Free." I mumble and make it to the roof. "Free." I mutter again and stand on the edge. "Just do it Damien. It's not that hard. You don't deserve to live while all those other people died." I mutter to myself and put my foot out. "Free." I breathe out and start to let myself fall. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DAMIEN DON'T YOU GET I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU." Nole yells and grabs my foot. He hauls me up.

I start to sob and curl up on the ground. He sighs and picks me up. I try to move away from him but he's to strong. I cry louder. "JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY." I scream and he stares at me. "DAMIEN YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. I'M THE PROBLEM DAMIEN. I NEVER MEANT FOR ANYONE TO DIE." I sobbed and held my head.

He stared at me crying and held me tighter. The curfew bell rang and he carried me back to our dorm. "No- Nole just let me die." I whimper and he shakes his head smiling sadly. "Damien, I can't let you do that." I wrinkle my nose in confusion as he set's me down softly. "You punched the daylights out of me though." I point out my voice still shaky.

"Damien, I was mad at you and the world. I never meant for it to go that far. I never told anyone. That girl who tripped you went and spread the word around. Damien.. I learned about what you said and the police reports. You were never there the night the guy who had cocaine died. The girl with heroin, she was already addicted. The person who jumped off a bridge said it was never you. He didn't feel any hate or sadness towards you. In his note it said he loved you."

"Wh- what." I whisper and he nods his eyes soft. "They- my parents." His eyes widen. "Damien, what did your parents tell you?" He asked. "They told me they did it because I was a selfish brat who killed them." I said starting to shake. Tears rolled down my cheek as I started to sob. "Damien, how long have you thought this was your fault?" "FIVE YEARS." I scream and clutch my head.

He grabbed my arms when they reached for the lighter and he held me close to his chest as I sobbed throughout the night. "I hated myself for so long. How did this happen." I wondered to myself and pressed my head into Nole's chest. He hummed, trying to calm me down. After awhile I fell asleep to his heartbeat.

I gasped awake, covered in a cold sweat. Nole blinked beside me. "Hey Damien?" He mumbled. "Y- yes." I ask quietly. "You aren't addicted to cigarettes are you." I blink and nod slowly. "You use them as a way to make yourself feel guilty about everything." He whispers, sitting up. "Yes." I say softly. "That- that kid who came out. I told him not but- but he did it anyway." I whispered and hugged my knees to my chest.

"Damien, I love you." I turn to Nole with shock on my face. "What." I whisper. My heart flutters. "Damien, I'm not joking." He's serious.