“I believe I can cure it all for you, dear. Coax or trick or drive or drag the demons from you.” -Sleeping Beauty -A Perfect Circle

Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty.

Like a broken record, this is all I can think about, all I can hear about.

As I trot into the parking lot I find myself with countless abandoned cars. I find my truck effortlessly, big and shoddy among many small speedy automobiles and bikes.

My left hand shuffles through my zipped jacket pocket for keys. As I reach, they fall deeper.

“Good evening, Madam,” a voice croaks behind me.

I shriek and jump, spinning around.

When I turn I see the hideous face of a poor homeless old man, his skin and bones covered with rags. I think he has a back problem, and I’m a sucker for people in need.

“Oh,” I press a hand against my fluttering chest, “you scared me.”

“You are thirsty, yes?” The ancient man nods.

“Um, does it show?” I smile weakly. So maybe this stranger isn’t what he appears.

“I can give you something.” He hobbles closer, making me press against the door of my car.

If he was an ordinary human, I could outrun him. But I know he’s not. He radiates the energy of the beasts have met before, and I’m terrified of experiencing a similar circumstance with him if I try to escape.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Blood.”

“Blood?” I repeat, frozen.

“I can see it in your eyes. I see it in your fangs.”

I gasp when he flashes his own. They’re yellow and rotting, as if he’s been chewing tar for half of his life, but they’re still capable of puncturing flesh.

His now red eyes stare at me expectantly. I wonder how he expects to give me blood. Does he have a blood bag with him? Doubtful. He doesn’t seem like he knows I’m the half-breed that could change his life, either.

“Well,” I breathe, realizing he’s just a confused, lost vampire, “I’m really not that thirsty.”

“But you are so thin.” He touches my arm. This shoots electric chills throughout my soul and I blanch.

“Okay, thanks, but I’m really fine.” I scoot away, but he appears to the side I was attempting to escape.

“Vampires must drink.” He reaches toward my hand and I actually do consider making a run for it.

“Page?” A harsh voice slithers in my ears. I glance to my right and see Damien standing beside the front of my truck.

“Damien.” I nod casually, as if this was a planned encounter.

“Who’s this new friend of yours?” Damien appears beside me and all fear disappears.

“More of an acquaintance."

“Is that so?” Damien sneers, visibly irritated.

“Another vampire.” The old person nods, impressed. “Would you like to join us?”

“Join you?” Damien raises his eyebrows. “For what?”

Uh oh.

“Get a drink. The lady is very thirsty.”

“Um,” I start nervously.

“A drink?” Damien turns to me with a tight smile. “What kind of drink, Page?”

“Um, I-” I’m totally tongue tied, even though I know I’ve done nothing wrong.

“Blood, of course.”

“Oh, blood.” Damien breathes the word with sarcasm. “Of course. My bad.”

“Damien,” I coo, “relax. The guy isn’t a vampire. He’s just-”

“Here to take you out for some human hunting?”

I wince. “Maybe?”

“Get lost.”

The man is reluctant but Damien’s aura is so menacing the guy doesn’t really have a choice.

Once the vampire has disappeared, my own vampire turns and looks at me.

“Page, are you really this weak?”

My eyes narrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you can’t even keep yourself from being influenced by an old weak vampire!” Damien shouts.

“Well sorry!” I snap back. “It’s not like I have much experience with vampires, or so many, until you came along. So who’s fault is that?”

“Yours!" Damien attempts to vent his frustration on the car closest to him. When he realizes it’s mine, he turns to the left and punches that one instead.

“Hey!” I gasp in disbelief, stomping towards the latest BW beetle. My eyes are glued on the dent in the center of its black hood. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Page,” he glares at me with swimming red eyes, “why do you do this to me? Do you enjoy making me this worried?”

I cross my arms and shrug. I mean, I don’t intend to.

“I’m sorry,” I say with a pinch of anger. Although he didn’t hit my car, I’m mad at him too.

“What are you even doing out here?”

“I was getting some water from my truck. I’m having ice cream with Payton and Izze.” 

“Okay.” He reaches for my hand. “Let me walk you back.”

“You’re that worried?” I look at him in awe.

“Yes, and I want to talk.”

“About?”

Damien hesitates. “I found another way to end the cure.”

Hope blossoms in me and I sigh in relief. “Great! What is it?”

Damien is reluctant, which is worrisome, but I have to know.

“Well? Tell me.”

“Doctor Herb needs your blood while the vampire and human cells are clashing together. What if there was only one cell? What if you became a full vampire?”

I blink, waiting for the bottom line.

“Come on, stop joking,” I chuckle uneasily.

“I’m not, Page. Think about it. He can’t finish the cure if you’re a whole vampire. There will be no human cells to work with.”

“I though about it and I still think your joking.” I refuse to believe that Damien, the man who loves me, the man I’m falling in love with, would consider turning me into a full-fledged night creature.

“This is the only other way-”

“Who was the one that freaked out back there because a vampire wanted a night out with me?” I pointed backward. “I believe it’s the person in front of me.”

“That’s because you’re still a human who clearly can’t defend yourself.” Damien sighs. “And you’re right, I did freak out. I’m sorry about that.”

“I can’t believe this!” I hiss. “I was really starting to trust you.”

“I’m sorry,” Damien apologizes, sounding honest, but what do I know. “I’ll find another way to stop the cure.”

“Good. Fine. Whatever.” I spin around so he doesn’t see my eyes transform into waterfalls. It takes all I can do to keep my voice from faltering when I add, “Just don’t include me anymore.”

When I glance over my shoulder, he’s gone.

…

The rain demands my attention outside my window wand it’s all I can do not to run outside and hope it drains out the pain. Is this what it feels like to be heartbroken?

Damien told me I should become immortal. He wanted me to turn into a bloodsucking beast. But I assumed he was that last person that would want me to change.

I don’t want to change.

“I don’t want to change!” I cry out, hoping someone will hear.

But not Damien. Definitely not him. And not Payton or Izze, who made such a fuss when they saw me bawling my way into the ice cream parlor.

I was so teary eyed I couldn’t even see where I was walking and had ran into some tables before my friends reached me and guided me back to the truck where Payton took the wheel and drove back to my house. We settled down and they tried to console me with television and snacks but my eyes were so sore and my heart so torn it was impossible to concentrate on anything.

The next thing I knew I was awake on the couch and Izze and Payton had gone home, leaving me farewell text messages and to call them as soon as I woke.

I didn’t.

Instead I watched the crying clouds outside. This wet, gray, mourning sky practically shoved in my face the truth of how hypocritical I was being.

Damien was only telling me of what he had come up with. It wasn’t as if he had turned me without a choice.

I had always prided myself on being a vampire but when push comes to shove, the thought of becoming one of them is beyond petrifying.

If I was really in love with Damien, wouldn’t I instantly jump on the idea of joining him in the immortal world?

Transforming is serious business. The commitment is greater than marriage-which is treated so whimsically nowadays that it might not as well exist. But marriage can be broken, just a word, a torn piece of paper, and it’s done with.

I could part ways with Damien, but I’d always be a vampire. There would be no returning to my ordinary life. It wasn’t much, but it was everything.

Could I do that for a boy I hardly know?

I looked at the issue from another angle.

Could I do this to save my life?

I buried my face into my arms, wanting to forget it all.

If I could have one thing to change right now, I’d ask for it to be the weather. For the grayness to hide and delete the sadness from my soul.

The clouds swelled, gaining the energy to weep even more, and the sky darkened further. Dark enough I’m certain the non-day walking vamps can prowl the streets without restraint. Can come and kill me.

I hear a rapid pounding on my front door and I hesitate. Lee has left for a romantic getaway with George, leaving Pay and Izze the last contenders for visiting in such weather. But they'd have called first.

I snatch a pan from the kitchen cupboard and cautiously approached the front door.

“Who is it?” I yell over the knocking.

“Damien!” 

I consider leaving him out there soaked.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just let me in!” Damien shouts, desperate. So desperate that I actually open the door, seeing him standing, beaten and terrified. He looks like he just participated in an underground Fight Club.

I’ve never seen him look so distressed.

“What happened?” The pan slips through my hand. “Are-Are you okay?”

“You’re okay,” he breathes.

“Yeah, of course. But are you okay?”

Damien pushes me backward as he breezes into the house, shutting and locking the door.

“I was worried they had come for you. Damn weather.”

I couldn’t agree any more.

I snatch his left hand, looking as if it was dipped in a bucket of blood. I can’t tell if it’s his.

“What did you do?” I ask.

He shrugs and mutters, “Nothing, really. Just had a fight with my father.”

“A fight with your father?” I repeat in disbelief. “Not a crazy vampire? Your actual father?”

“Yes, well, he’s the one that started this and I thought he could call it off.”

I tug him towards the couch.

“He wouldn’t, if you can’t tell,” Damien adds, poorly attempting to enlighten the mood.

“Whenever Lee and I fought,” I race to the kitchen and snatch what I need, “we used it with words and held a grudge at most a week. Usually because one of us borrowed something that wasn’t theirs or ate the last Poptart.”

I doused his bloody hand in a cooking pot filled with water.

Damien forces one of his famous smiles. “That’s something normal siblings do.”

“I never fought with my father and my mother is never around enough to fight with. But I know they wouldn’t do…this,” I blabbed. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I? Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Damien sighs and leans back, dragging half of his hand out of the pot.

I take the damp rag in my hand and begin to slowly clean the stubborn blood off his hand. From what I can tell, he isn’t injured. He may have been and healed. Regardless, I’m just relieved he’s okay.

“I apologize too,” Damien confesses. “I never meant to make you so upset.”

I blink, struggling to figure out what he had done. It’s hard when I’m so wrapped up in the present to remember the past.

“On the whole vampire turning thing?” I presume finally.

Damien nods and stares at the ceiling.

My eyes scan over his body. His beautiful structured jaw. The alluring eyes under long black eyelashes. The tall strong body hidden under a stained black jacket and soaked black jeans. He could be my Goth Romeo.

I stand and gently stroke his glossy dark hair.

“I forgive you,” I whisper. “I forgive you.”

“Mmmmm,” he sighs. My fingers trace the scratches on his jaw, hoping they fade soon and don’t ruin his perfection. Then I travel down his neck, shoulders, arms, and rest them on his hand. It’s clean now, but the scent of copper remains.

I want him like this, before me within arms reach at all times. To touch whenever, to talk to, to kiss.

There’s my answer.

Lightly, very lightly, I pick it and say, “In fact, I want to.”

“Want to what?” he asks, relaxed.

“Become a vampire.”

I press my lips against his palm and lick his skin. A hint of blood remains, bitter and distasteful, but I hide my dislike for it. I know if I become a vampire, I’ll want it.

Damien pulls his hand from me and I let him, inwardly relieved.

“Now you’re the one joking around.”

“I am not,” I say firmly. “I really want to become a vampire.”

“Suffer the transformation?” Damien questions darkly. “Out of all the things I hardly remember of my human life, the torture of turning haunts me. Do you really want to go through that?”

“I’ll do it if it’s to save them.”

“Page,” he sighs wearily, “I’ll find another way.”

“We’ve come up with three ways and two of them won’t work. Can you think of anything else?”

“Destroy the cure.”

“You mean me.”

“No. I mean what your uncle is working on.”

I shake my head. “I don’t even know where it is.”

“Then just don’t show up at the appointment.”

“Will the bad vampires let that happen?” I arch a brow, challenging.

“Please stop shooting down everything I suggest, Page,” he pleads. "Unless you really are serious about becoming a vampire-”

“I am.” I mean, if I become a vampire I’ll be more alive than if I was straight up murdered.

Damien pats the side of the couch next to him and I hop onto it, curling like a cat against his body.

“Let’s just see how things end up, alright?” he asks.

I nod and let my fingers walk on his chest. I can agree to that.

“When you came here,” I began, “you were worried someone had come for me. Who were you talking about?”

“It’s dark out. I thought while I was distracted with my father, his followers would come for you.”

“That would make sense.” I lay my head where his heart should be. “But I’m fine. See? Not a scratch. Compared to you.”

“I’m a vampire. I’ll heal.”

“How soon?”

“Soon.” He leans down and kisses my forehead.

I grimace. “You missed.”

“Excuse me?”

“You. Missed.” I sit up and reach for his mouth.

He accepts me readily, hungrily, as if this has been what he’s wanted since he came and honestly, I think it’s what I wanted since I saw him too.

Every time I see him, he looks different. Acts different. But I love him.

I love him.

I love him.

I coax his mouth open and slide my tongue into unknown territory. I’m excited and don’t even care that I taste blood.

Damien pushes me back and glares. “What are you doing?”

“Healing you,” I answer. “The same way you healed my hand.”

“I can heal myself,” he responds defiantly. “Especially when it comes to my tongue.”

I read his eyes, the crimson slowly polluting the green. He can pretend he hated it, didn’t want it, but he can’t hide the truth. It’s literally right there in his eyes.

I decide to let it slide. For now.

“How many people have you kissed?” 

“What?” He shifts, uncomfortably. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious about you. I want to know.”

“I don’t keep track of things like this, Page.”

I glower. “So, a lot, then.”

Damien appears irritated as well. “I’ve lived a long time.”

“Were you in love before?”

“What? No!” Damien sighs. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

I glow at this news. “You’ll never love anyone else if you turn me into a vampire.”

Damien’s face sours. “We’re dropping this conversation now. Have you eaten?”

“You can’t run forever!” I yell playfully after him as he gets up and escapes my claws.