At the gas station convenience store, I'm lightning.

Thinking too fast to speak. Must be smart as a whip, and I can't believe I ever for a moment doubted this journey. This trip that's gonna change my life, the coast that's gonna change my life, that when we get there, it's gonna change Allen's life, and it's gonna change dad's life probably too.

Spying the cooler, I grab drinks and head to the counter.

And I'm thinking to myself, man, I'm on the cusp of something great, can't even begin to describe how it'll be, and when I get there the whole world will know and feel it, I feel it starting even now - in the 5 long line. I can't help but brim with giddy anticipation and almost overflow.

Something's coming, and it's gonna be big.

"Will that be all, sir?"

And as I'm rung up for my 2 waters and a peach Snapple and a bag of beef jerky, grinning like an idiot, I finally start to feel the weight of it, and I'm horrified.