The weight of a wrench rusting in his hand steadied Hsu Jaeshin's nerves. He was not a fighter. He did not know martial arts. But anyone could swing a club. A sort of atavistic fallback strategy ingrained in his ancestors. And possibly his descendants if he survived this.

Elim Green had put down his box and was loading up the pockets of his voluminous coat with cans of its noxious contents. He seemed to be counting to himself, steeling his resolution before action.

A human scream echoed through the tunnels again; a child who had followed Hsu into the tunnels. The ratmen had him.

As if a switch had flipped, Elim Green was charging down the tunnel.

Hsu slipped and slid after him, nearly losing the wrench in the process.

“Do you ruin everything you touch or it it selective?” Elim panted.

“Can you turn off the sarcasm?” he shouted back.

“Have you seen the world? How are you so straightlaced?! I bet you believe that hard work pays off.”

Despite recent evidence Hsu did believe this. He was on the walkway opposite Elim so he came ‘round the corner first! He teetered unsteadily and swung his rusty wrench like a counterweight which nearly took Elim's head off as he jumped across.

Elim pulled the wrench from his hand. “If you don't know how to use a weapon then don't bring it!”

“What am I supposed to fight with?”

“A gun! You were supposed to bring a gun, not a mobile phone!” he shouted. Then he swung the wrench into a wide arc which clang’d into a skinny pipe, causing it to break at the bracket. Another swing freed it and Hsu suddenly had a section of metal tube thrust into his hand. There were wires trailing from both ends.

But one end was jagged. A spear! Anyone could use a spear. A sort of atavistic fallback strategy ingrained in his ancestors. And possibly his descendants if he —

There were two Toothsomes up ahead; hunched over ratmen with elongated skulls and beady eyes. The one on the right had a crippled arm he kept close to his body in a colourful sling.  His other arm held tight around a 9 year old boy who jerked and flinched like a fish on a line.

The boy saw them and called “Elim! I found a Toothsome!”

“Damnit Gilcrest, why are you down here?”

The boy pointed at Hsu, who was wearing a begrimed dress shirt and waistcoat. “He is a suspicious person!” He tried to pull away from the monster. “Tell ‘im to call these boogers off!”

“They don’t work for me!”

The boy swore profusely and tried to pull away and grab his boot, only to be yanked back upright by the alien holding his arm. It hissed at him him while the other, more able-bodied creature hissed at the new arrivals.

Elim approached the trio like a dancer in a death waltz. They circled, each jockeying for advantage and position. Elim held his broken wrench like a brawler. He had an easy familiarity with scars. He feinted a lunge at the weaker one, who he jerked away with the increasingly-frantic Gil in his claw.

“Let him go!” Elim shouted and pointed his wrench at the Toothsome.

“They don’t speak English.” Hsu reminded him.

“What else would I be saying?!” he snapped back.

The leader lunged forward and grabbed at the wrench. Rather than flinch Elim pulled him in and punched him in the face.  His fist collided with the Toothsome’s bony skull but did no harm.  The creature leered a hissing laugh through its extended teeth.

Elim pulled his arm back and backhanded it right into the teeth – so hard that he split his knuckles and the alien yelped backwards in pain, clutching its mouth.

It didn’t matter what species – being hit in the teeth hard enough to pull at the roots was painful and triggered an automatic desire to escape. A Toothsomes’ most intimidating feature could be a weakness if you had the nerve.

Elim tried to turn his attention to the creature holding Gil but the leader lunged back in with raking claws. Elim fended him off with the wrench and tried for a blow on the face but the Toothsome caught the wrench in its jaws and bit down, carving a bite out the metal.

While the two of them were occupied Hsu advanced on the one holding the human boy, spear in hand. He jabbed unsteadily at its head with the broken metal pipe (nearly getting the kid instead) and caused it to back off.

“Let him go. Just let him go and I will stop stabbing you!”

The Toothsome made a grab for the spear with its withered arm. Hsu pulled the pipe free easily but the creature held onto the trailing wire and pulled him forwards! Hsu pulled back and the Toothsome released the boy so it could yank at the cables. They snaked out of the pipe and pulled free while Gil ran forward, leaving the Toothsome holding nothing but a length of electrical cables.

Hsu flushed with victory as the boy hid behind him. “Just run away! You’ve already lost!”

The Toothsome wrapped the wire around his hands and then jumped towards Elim! It wrapped the cable over his head and began to strangle him! Elim flopped about while still trying to fend off the leader with his increasingly-chunky wrench.

Elim glared at Hsu and choked out “Why. Are. You. So. Bad. At. This?”

The choking one leaned forward to take a bite from the back of Elim’s neck so Hsu swung the pipe like a sharpened club that scraped against the thing’s head, causing it to flinch but not really hurting it.

Gilcrest shouted. “Elim! ‘is left hand is weak!”

The wrench came around and banged weakly against the crippled hand, forcing it to release Elim with a hiss of pain. He followed it up with a spinning backhand that struck blind and grazed the Toothsome’s temple. It staggered away and the other alien supported it and they fell back. They scrambled back down the tunnel and around the corner... and were gone.

Elim pulled the cable free of his neck with a cough. “I think I understand why you got fired from your job.”

“Shut up, I was trying to help.”

Gilcrest snorted and pushed back his hair. “‘e did alright. I got away.”

“Don’t praise him!” Elim snapped. Gesturing for them to follow he led them back down the tunnel to the entrance.

Hsu reminded him “There are still at least two Toothsomes between us and the way out.”

“And two more over there. And a bunch more behind us. I am trying to make the situation better!”

Gilcrest pulled at thumb to Hsu. “Who’s this Goreo?”

(Hsu was not up on ethnic slang but he was pretty sure he had just been insulted.)

“He’s a spy.”

“Good-on! You can shoot the Toothy-suckas.” The boy stood a little taller.

“He doesn’t have a gun. He only brought a cell phone.”

“Whot, like Stephen Spielberg?”

“I am not a field agent!” he insisted.

“I hope not.  Your drest’ like a male escort wif a scat fetish.”

Their adventure in the sewer had not been kind to Hsu’s suit. Or his dress shoes.

Gil said “The one with the gimpy arm, ‘e killed Sarah!”

“You sure?”

Gil held up the bag he had been carrying. It was a little girl’s backpack with unicorns on it. “He was using this like a sling. I stole it back.”

Elim’s grip tightened on the wrench. “I will discuss that with him later. We keep moving.”

The hissing and scrambling in the tunnels told the tale of the Toothsomes reorganization. They needed to reach the two aliens guarding the exit before they received reinforcements.

Gil was looking at Hsu’s suit more contemplatively. “Is he Pharma?”

“I don’t work for the Pharmacology Industry!”

Elim grunted. “Medical researches lure Toothsomes up from the sewers in the Wastelands using meat to take samples. That’s why they’ve gotten so bold – they are being fed.”

Hsu gritted his teeth. When the cat’s away.... This was exactly the sort of thing his Intelligence Taskforce was supposed to prevent. Without then private industry was getting bold.

Elim stopped them to listen to the tunnels. Gilcrest took this moment to unzip the backpack and dump the dead girl’s precious toys and mementos onto the sewer floor. He set about filling the bag with chunks of loose brick which he kicked and pried from the walls of the tunnel. Hsu helped him, breaking off chunks with no regard to the scuffs on his ruined shoes.

“You spy on aliens?”

“Yeah. But my unit got shut down. Brexit.”

Gil barked a laugh and swallowed a concealed sob. “Kin you talk to ‘em?”

“Tenebrionids don’t process language like we do. They can sense emotions and the vocalizations are more like... emphasis for context?”

Elim took the sack from Gil. He checked its weight and that the zips were fully fastened. He asked Hsu “Does Mister Expert know any weaknesses?”

Hsu snapped his fingers. “They can’t swim!”

“Wow, super useful! Did you also notice that the shit river down here is only six inches deep?”

Gil grinned at Elim. With an elaborate flourish he reached into the side of his boot... and pulled out a small pocketknife. The blade, once extended, measured 5 centimetres. Two inches. “I’ve been savin’ this!” he said proudly.

“Cool sword bro, can I see?” Elim checked the little knife and judged that it was indeed razor sharp. He handed it back to the boy who brandished it with audacious bravado.

Brave kid, like his nephew. Hsu knelt down to talk to the kid. He pointed at the inside of the kid’s leg. “There is an artery, a big vein, right here. You cut like this and the Toothsome will go down. There will be a lot of blood. Try not to be afraid.”

Gilcrest began to tremble, looking at the knife clutched in his little hands.

Elim walked over with a sigh. “Can I talk to you idiot?”

They walked a few steps down the corridor then Elim smacked him on the back of the head.

“Ow!”

Elim poked him roughly in the chest. “You may be the most unimpressive person I have ever seen, but that was beyond idiotic! Congratulations, I literally did not know that it was possible to be that stupid.”

“I was trying to give him the tools–”

“He has a little knife. While he has a knife the bad monsters can’t harm him. But once he has to use the knife then it becomes a source of danger. A classic Esfo-Naifin ridge. You burst his security bubble.”

Hsu’s jaw tightened. “When the Bueludeh War comes everyone is a soldier!”

“I don’t care what that is. You are an idiot.”

The chittering noises were suddenly close by and Gilcrest zipped back to join them.

Elim handed Hsu the girl’s bag. He took the metal pipe and handed that to Gil.

A bag full of rocks! Anyone could use a bad full of rocks. A sort of atavistic fallback strategy ingrained in his ancestors. And possibly —

Elim grabbed his shoulder. A steady, iron grip that communicated control and confidence. Hsu found himself locked into the young man’s eyes.

“How committed are you?”

Hsu exhaled. “We rush the Toothsomes between us and the exit. One keeps them busy while the other gets Gilly out.”

Elim squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I was already planning on leaving you behind.”

Actually Hsu had been picturing getting the kid out himself while the scrappy blond kid made a heroic stand....

With a snarl, two Toothsomes rounded the corner. They were clothed in dirty brown sweatsuits. Both were clearly female and one had an acid scar across her neck. Two more quickly followed – a bull male and one with a crippled hand. The ones they fought before.

Outnumbered four to three.

Acid-neck crouched in the sewer tunnel, sloughing in the shallow dross which ran down the culvert. The others let her go first. Hsu wondered if she was an enforcer, or a hunt-leader of some kind? Tenebrionids hunted underground so their social structures were not well understood.

(Hsu’s hand tightened on the strap of the dead girl’s bag.)

The two females attacked, running up along either side of the tunnel and onto the walkways to flank them. One went for Elim and was bashed backwards by his wrench. The other went for Gil and then – seeing the boy’s spear – instead turned her attention to Hsu!

He swung the bag in a wide circle while moving back and achieved a ringing blow across acid-neck’s head – stunning her with a dozen bricks. “Stab her!” he ordered Gil.

The boy’s hands whitened on the sharpened pipe. He pushed into her, scratching along her arm.

“Harder!” he brought the bag around.

Gilcrest put his entire body behidn the thrust, barely 4 stone. The attack gouged and drew blood but did not penetrate.

Hsu bashed acid-neck again and swung the bag around in a tighter arc, intending to hit her again while off-balance but the Toothsome grabbed the bag’s loose strap and held it firm. He tried to pull it free but instead she pulled him in and raked her claws across his chest; slicing through his shirt and waistcoat to make deep gashes into his flash. Hsu fell backwards in shock, seeing his blood on her hands. Then on his hands.

Gilcrest used his spear like a club, slashing rather than thrusting and forced acid-neck to back off. He swore in a high-pitched shriek.

Elim smashed his partner for a fifth time. He had broken every finger on her left hand and her fight was sapping. The males were moving in. The big one went after Elim and he was suddenly on the defensive, backed against the sewer wall while the injured one still swiped at his legs, forcing him to dance and robbing his swinging wrench of its power.

Gilcrest screamed as the other male grabbed the spear and dragged the boy into the muck. Elim was swearing at Hsu but all he could so was kick out as the alien took Gil.

The boy’s fear peaked and then suddenly his little knife was in his hand and he dropped to his knees and shoved it into the inside meat of the Toothsome’s leg!

The thing shrieked and flung him off with a savage backhand which took a chunk out of his ear. The pocketknife tumbled into the sewage while the boy clutched his bleeding head.

Elim roared in anger and frustration and brought the wrench down on the bull male’s skull twice, hard enough to ring his bell even through the thick plates of bone. But the impact jerked up and down his arm and into his muscles, leaving him no strength for a third.

The male rushed him, its jaws wide. Elim scrambled, holding up the wrench as a limp defence as he was overrun. He blocked its claws once then turned to run but it grabbed him by the fur of his oversize coat and dragged him back to shake the broken wrench from his hand. It roared its hot sticky breath on the back of his neck and scraped its teeth among his thick hair, searching for the meat and the crunchy vertebrae.

Elim screamed and tried to get away. His hands groped for anything – a loose pipe, a stone – but the Toothsome held him fast! Finally Elim reached into his jacket’s pocket and brought out – a pink can of fizzypop. He bashed backwards weakly, slamming the TAB cola into the thing’s face while trying to bludgeon its eye.

The Toothsome slashed back with his claws, rupturing the side of the can and causing it to spray everywhere.

The alien howled and let go as Elim desperately held the TAB outwards, soaking the alien with its brown juice. He sprayed the retreating female too and made her back off more quickly. He has two more cans in his pockets! He shook them and cracked them open, spraying down the other two Tenebrionids and causing them to run away.

They had won.

But the Toothsomes were gathering in the tunnels ahead. A dozen or more of the ratlike aliens! And the humans were injured, terrified... and out of ammunition.

The war-howl began.

Special Copyrights notice:

Torchwood: Pack Animals © Peter Anghelides 2008. Toothsome and other elements from that story appear with the permission of the copyright holder.

The story Rat Men of Paris first appeared in More Fun Comics Magazine volume 1#8 in 1952.  It is in the public domain.