A couple months ago, I worked on some homework at one of the library’s computers. While working, there was a guy a few computers down, who I didn’t pay much attention to until he sneezed. My first instinct was to say, “bless you,” since that’s what my parents taught me. My parents also taught me to never talk to strangers, and even though that’s completely for safety reasons and telling a stranger “bless you” is unlikely to become a safety hazard, that common lesson has evolved into a culture where strangers rarely interact with each other, get to know one another, learn from each other, and make worry warts like me wonder if it’s okay to tell that guy who I don’t really know a phrase that doesn’t really mean anything but at one point was intended to prevent demons from entering the human body. (If you weren’t aware of that fact before, look it up). I ended up keeping quiet and later regretted my decision.

If you think about it, even though sneezes no longer relate to demons, it does relate to a potential illness since sneezing sometimes equals the flu. So, the phrase, “bless you,” still voices concern for the sneezer. Even more so if the person continues to sneeze since the phrase that usually follows a series of consecutive sneezes is “Are you okay?”. At least that’s the pattern I often follow. With this in mind, it seems to be best to tell a stranger “bless you” because it shows your concern for their well being. The question then follows, will the stranger accept my concern? Because why would I give my concern if the other person doesn’t appreciate it?

A few days ago, I was on the bus when a fellow passenger sneezed and someone not as shy as me told her “bless you.” The woman responded with a “thank you” and a smile, and I thought that maybe it is okay to tell someone I don’t know “bless you.” A couple days after, while working on some homework in the library (this is very common), I became the stranger who sneezed. A person nearby gave me a “bless you” and on instinct, I responded with a “thank you” and a smile. I did appreciate that person going out of his way and saying “bless you.” It was kind of him, and I like kindness. Since I appreciated stranger telling me “bless you,” others should also appreciate me telling them “bless you,” right?

A few days after, I was in the library again when girl sitting nearby sneezed. With this new perspective on strangers sneezing, I confidently looked her in the eyes and said “bless you.” And I shit you not, she scowled! Forehead crumpled, smile sinking to the bottom of her chin scowl. She looked at me with a face that asked, “Who the fuck are you?”, and I replied with a face that asked, “Who hurt you?!” This interaction confirmed that not everyone will appreciate my bless you remarks, which leads to the next question that’s already been asked - why would I give my concern if the other person doesn’t appreciate it?

As I mentioned in the story that started this self-reflecting journey, I regret not telling the first guy “bless you.” I don’t know why I regret it, but I do. Enough to write a reflective piece on it. I think it’s because I was slightly concerned for his health and wanted to show my concern through the traditional Western interaction despite it not meaning anything. The argument to that statement could be that my wanting to say it reflects my internal desire to be recognized as a caring person, which actually reflects my selfishness. In response to that, two out of three times the person who sneezed does appreciate someone going out of their way to say “bless you.” At least one of those times, it was recognized as a kind gesture, and I like kind gestures. They feel nice. So I think the next time someone sneezes, even though there’s a chance that person will not appreciate it, I will tell that person, “bless you.”

Unless I’m in Asia because the phrase means nothing there.