All through first period I can’t help but think about this morning. Rather, I can’t help but think about him. It’s weird to think just 24 hours ago I was worried and terrified of him. I really was scared for nothing. He was probably telling them about how he kept sending me notes and wanted to get to know me. It’s weird how the moment I notice him, I want to get to know him and he wants to get to know me. What a weird bond to have. Especially so early on.

The bell rang and I packed my things slower than normal. Everyone was prepared to leave but I was lost in my thoughts again and now I’m the last one to leave.

“Nathan wait.” Mr. Beckett called.

“Hm?”

“Are you staying after today? We haven’t talked for a while, are you doing alright? Everything okay at home?”

“I’m doing fine, don’t worry. And yes, I am staying after today. I have some really good news to tell you!” I waved and walked to my next class.

After second period I walked to the cafeteria. I scanned the room but I couldn’t see him anywhere. I decided to sit at the same table as yesterday to wait for them there. About ten minutes in and still, neither of the three were here. Did they do all that just to trick me? Or am I thinking too much about this? Please, I’m tired of being alone. I sat there staring off into space. I was almost certain they weren’t coming now.

Suddenly, someone put their hands over my eyes.

“Guess who~!” I was startled and jumped back into the person behind me. It was Sam.

“Why would you do that? You scared the sh*t out of me!” I playfully yelled.

“It’s not my fault you’re so jumpy!” He snared back playfully.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he copied sitting next to me,

“What’s with these two?” A boy asked. I assumed it was Jake since he was holding Melissa’s hand as they sat across from us.

“Uhm, hi. I-I’m Nate.”

“Oh! You’re the kid he was stalking! Hahah! Looks like Sammy-boy finally found someone who-”

Melissa suddenly elbowed him in the gut. 

“What was that for!?”

“Ahem!” She cleared her throat loudly and gave him a stern glance.

“Ooh.” He whispered. Sam put his head in his hands embarrassed.

“I need to talk to you, come with me.” Melissa said annoyed and dragged him away.

“What was all that about?” I laughed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Sam replied keeping his face hidden.

“So, uhm- w-what took you guys so long? Lunch started about 15 minutes ago.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We couldn’t find Jake for a while, turns out he had to make up a test he missed so we decided to wait for him. I’m sorry, I should’ve texted you.”

“It- it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I- I was just curious.”

Melissa and Jake came back and Jake seemed to be more quiet than normal. We all talked about random things for the remainder of lunch and then the bell rang. On my way out of the doors Sam stopped me.

“Hey uhm, do you maybe want to hang out after school and get some coffee?”

“Oh... I-I'm sorry, but I-I have to stay after school today. B-but I… I'd love to another day or over the weekend!”

“Okay! I’ll text you about it later tonight, bye!”

“Bye.”

I’ve never hung out without someone outside of school before. Will it be awkward or will it be the same? I guess the main difference is not having a limited time to talk. Can I even handle being alone with him? Earlier this morning I was blushing for no f*cking reason. What if that happens again and the thinks I’m sick and takes me home? Will it be too much like a date? Can I even do this?

The Last hours of school went by pretty slowly. Sam and I don't have any classes together meaning we can’t talk much during school but at least we have lunch together. School finally ended and it was time to go to Mr. Beckett. He lets me stay after school sometimes to just talk. He used to tutor me when I was younger, but I don’t like to think about that time. I walked down the hall and approached his room. His door was open and he was sitting at his desk.

“Hey.” I greeted him.

“Hey Nate! I’m glad we can talk again! It seems like it’s been a while. Everything going okay at home?”

"Well my dad was dating was some girl but they’re not together anymore. He was pretty upset about it. He said it was all my fault.” I didn’t want to tell him that she had died. I couldn’t. It reminded too much of mom and Poppy. But it really was all my fault. Everything is.

“How was it your fault if you didn’t even know?”

“Don’t- don't worry about it. It- it’s nothing really.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s just... something stupid. Nothing really important.”

“If you say so. So what was that good news that you wanted to tell me?”

“Oh right! I made a friend.” I smiled. I told him all about the notes and the texting. I told him about how fast we clicked and how his friends are now also my friends. I felt like a little kid.

I mentioned how he invited me out for coffee. About how welcomed and happy I’ve felt this entire day just to know that someone out there wants to talk to me.

Mr. Beckett stood there smiling at me.

“What?”

“Sounds like someone’s love struck.” He teased

“W-What? N-no that- that’s not possible. I’m not gay.”

“If I'm not mistaken, you've never had a crush before. And also, why are you blushing?”

“Because you’re messing with me!”

“Okay okay, I’ll stop.” He chuckled “What did you say was his name again?”

“Sam, well, Samuel but he told me to call him Sam.”

“I don’t think I have a Sam in any of my classes.” You should bring him after school with you some time. I’d like to meet the kid who befriended my hobbit.”

Mr. Beckett liked that nickname for me. I have curly hair and I'm pretty short so I guess it fits well.

“Nate, listen. I really hate to turn the subject back to a serious topic, but it's been bothering me. You don’t need to let your dad blame you for everything. I know you said you’re fine but I can tell that you were lying. Not everything is your fault. Accidents happen. And what happened was just an accident, okay? Stop blaming yourself for everything. Please.” He wasn’t talking about dad and his girlfriend. He was talking about mom and Poppy. He walked up to me and wrapped me in his arms.

“It wasn’t your fault, Nate.”

Why can’t I believe you?

“Okay.” I said monotone.

Why is it so hard to believe what you’re saying? Is what you're saying even true? Are you saying all of this just to make me feel better? Why should I believe it? Either way it makes no difference. It always ends the same. With my mother and sister dead. And nothing can change that. 

“Listen, if anything bad ever happens, you can always come to my house. You know where it is. Promise me.”

“Okay.” I sighed and checked my phone, 4:30. “Sh*t!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, but it's later than I normally stay. My dad is going to kill me. I have to go, bye!”

“Bye.” He waved.

I ran down the halls and out the front doors. I sprinted down the sidewalk and down the main road. The way I’m running reminds me of only a few nights ago. The biting cold air and the aching feet. It’s weird. The last time I was running away from my dad but this time I’m running towards him. 

How ironic.