Kiri— Aerstelle City

Sometimes Kiri worries about things for no reason. Sometimes it’s not even a “thing” she’s worried about, but just a profound, pervasive sick feeling that sits in her belly and reaches up to grab her throat from the inside.

She worries that her city will fall from the sky, that the turbines, propellers, and steam that keeps it all in the air will fail and that magic won’t be enough to save it. She imagines watching the city break apart and fall, seeing people fall to the ground with little thuds. She images being squished into the earth by her own house if she’s too slow to fly away. She imagines being able to fly and escape the destruction, but it not being worth it as everyone she cares about- including her brother, friends, students, and coworkers- dies.

Then she remembers that their city has survived the worst storms, electrical failures, even wars, without falling even a foot. The city will be fine.

And later, once her brain is tired of feeling peace, she starts worrying about losing her job, income, classes, and...well she’s not realistically worried about going homeless, but, but, but, there’s just so much to worry about besides that. She worries about taxes rising, then feels bad because she knows taxes are crucial for keeping their beautiful flying city off the ground, so to speak. She’s worried that her brother or her boyfriend will lose their jobs. She’s worried about getting bad feedback at her own job. She’s worried about having to get a job she doesn’t want in order to pay the bills.

Then she remembers that she makes enough money, that she can afford to lose a bit. She won’t be homeless and that new opportunities are constantly popping up. She’ll be fine.

But if that isn’t enough, then there’s her relationship to worry about. Maybe her boyfriend will decide he doesn’t like her anymore, or maybe he doesn’t like her as much as she likes him, or maybe he’s just putting up with her for the time being, but not planning to continue things. She worries that she’s making herself unlikeable by being so sad and worried and anguished and paranoid all of the time, which of course makes her more sad, worried, anguished, and paranoid. She sees him frown slightly, or look away from her, or say something a certain way, and she’s certain that her worst fears are being confirmed.

Then she’ll talk to him about it and tell him all these little stories she’s been telling herself and he’ll assure her that he very much loves being with her and is planning on continuing to be with her.

She feels instantly better.

But it’s better, with a catch. She just knows that she’ll find some other thing to worry obsessively about before long.