Dear #2,
Naturally, there was a point in my life where I didn't know you. I wrote a couple letters then as well, except those letters.. they weren't always good.
Before You:
Okay! I'm gonna rewrite part of a letter from an old journal of mine. I think it is rather cute. It's from my Freshmen year at a my old school. Please read it with care:
"So when I think about it, I don't really have a real best friend. August and Julie would only come to me when something was wrong. While I was thinking about it I heard something telling me to switch schools and find my own friends. What does that even mean? I knew that I didn't have a lot of friends at my old school to begin with, but it was such a small school. I know it's hard for me to make friends because I lack confidence, but I do want and need a best friend, someone to trust and rely on. Family is nice and all, but they shouldn't be my best friends. I'll keep praying about it. Maybe I'll find them soon. I'll try to be patient until then."
Just soak that in for a whole hot minute. Isn't it crazy to think I wrote that letter on hopes of just meeting someone like you? Here's another one to show a little more on how I think:
"So I wish in real life you could just 'unfriend' someone. Maybe because if it was that easy then you weren't really good friends to begin with? I mean if I just stopped talking to... and you just replace me with another person, does that mean we were never actually real/good friends to begin with? Is it really that easy for you? Why doesn't it bother you nearly as much as it's bothering me? Or maybe I'm just not special enough, so finding a replacement is that easy? Maybe I'm thinking about this too much? I hope so. I can't help it though. I do wanna stay friends, but it clearly doesn't matter to you either way."
Man! That was hard to write. Could you see it? Me beginning to lose sight of my worth? The beginning of me beating myself up for not being good enough? I knew that it'd only get worse if i remained 'stuck' in that school. Imagine where I would be if I did. I never would've met you. I know for a fact, I wouldn't love my faith as much as I do right now. It still hurts that I left, but it was the best choice I could've made. I mean it's the big reason I am who I am right now. I know that not everyone gives a care about what I'm doing with my life, and that it's okay for me to make mistakes. It's okay to love and find joy in the little things. I can begin to see the good in everyone. How they were all made for more. Money and appearance isn't what defines you. Just who I am. Being myself will guide me. Doing what I feel and know is right with love and confidence is the answer. I know I'm never alone no matter how lonely I may feel. I've got it all. And best of all, I've got you.
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