January 4, 1939

One click, and my eyes open instantly, I could feel my heart pound. I had a terrible nightmare. Drowsiness get's folks dead, fast, but I was alright for now. Jack and my boss were digging up a hole, but that was weird because the boss would never dug a hole. I dreamt of the aroma of stale blood, as it filled and rotted my nose. I felt the weight of the Earth on me as it pushed me down and engulfed my entire body. I was slowly running out of breath. I could feel dirt shoved down my throat. For the first time, I blinked. I was surrounded by wood. I hit the wood, but nothing happened. I was buried.

I look to my right, and I see the boy from back then. He was not facing me, but the back of his head was in clear view. The blood dripped down onto the wood, trickling toward me. I tried to scream, but then his hand covered my mouth. I could taste the dirt and blood on the palm of his hand. It was disgusting. He said, "Why did you do this to me? What did I o to deserve this." I shook my head, trying to keep my innocence. "It was not me," I cried. "I did not kill you." He screamed.

My eyes open, suddenly, and the guilt fills my insides. The guilt was not in my heart, but my brain. What I had done to the boy's body was not on my own accord. It was my job. The sheets were wet with sweat. An itching sensation crawled up my back, forcing me to jump out of bed. It was hot, too hot. My insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. With only a pair of over-sized jeans, I quickly ran outside.

The guilt was ice in my guts. The heat escapes from my body. The air is cold outside, and I can feel my body heat diminishing. I have tried to throw him out of my head since I talked with Jack. The thoughts continuously repeat in my head. Maybe I can never get rid of it, or maybe I don't want to. It's the only part of a murder I could hold onto.

I wrap my hands around my bare chest. The biting cold chilled my fingers into clumsy numbness, cold seeped into my toes and spread painfully throughout my feet. I could feel my lips chap. 

I had found myself outside, shivering. There was a sheet of snow sitting on top of the grass. My feet curled into the cold grass, freezing my blood. 

"Nickolas! What are you doing out here?" My mom grabbed my shoulders and dragged me back into the house. I hit the floor in the kitchen with such force that my mom jumped.

Eyes watery and nose running, I cried like a baby for a whole entire hour. During that hour, my mom stayed silent. I was thankful.

Instead of bombarding me with questions, she simply helped me get dressed for school. I could tell from the look in her eyes that the shade of my face was similar to a tomato. She buttoned the top of my shirt and dusted off my shoulders. "Be home before dark," she said. With that, my feet moved out the door and onto the narrow road on the way to school.

As I walked, I noticed a group of kids in front of me. They all had similar faces, but you could tell that they were not siblings. Pale skin, dry skin, tan skin, they were all different. Of the five kids in the group, one of them stood out. He had honey skin. There was a bunch of dots on his face that I had never seen on someone before. His hair was peppered with blonde and brown colors. He had a fresh face, something that you would not see on this side of town.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked. They all stared at me dumbfounded. The boy with the honey skin pointed to my school only a couple of feet away. "You don't go to my school. I have never seen you here before." I don't know why I was suddenly irritated, but I was. Whether it was the boy in the past that was killed by my boss or the one standing right in front of me, my emotions were mixed.

"Please leave us alone. We know what we are doing." He took the hands of the two smallest kids and brushed past me. He seemed just as annoyed as I was. Ms. Moore stood outside waiting for them. As they walked into the front yard of the school, she moved them along with a brush of her hand. She did not notice me, or at least did not acknowledge my presence as I walked in behind the new kids. 

"Focker, guess what happened? Theodore down on Hugh Street collapsed a couple of days ago. I can not believe it! He was like the oldest man I ever knew. Too bad the virus got to him. My grandma said that she went to his funeral yesterday and saw your ma. Is that why you did not come to school?" If I were being honest, I wanted to slap Adobe across the face. Another nerve went off in my head.

"Can you leave me alone for today? I do not feel like talking about it."

"I understand that you are upset. That is exactly how I felt when ma and pa were suddenly up and gone," he said while wiping his face with the back of his hand. "I was upset for a very long time, but then you made me feel better.  You said, 'Don't let it get to ya. They are gone, and they can't come back. You go to let them go.'" Adobe rested a hand on my shoulder.

"It took some time, but I was alright in a few days." My lips turned up and I gave Adobe a fake smile. It was enough for him to back off until the next day. The day when Jack came knocking at my door.