“Where were you?” Bea questioned me, when she saw me coming out of the arena. Her voice was hoarse, probably from singing along to the songs during the concert.
“You were taking a while, so I went inside to look for you.” Technically, none of that was a lie.
“Open the car, Giu! Let’s go home! I wanna tell you all about today. It. Was. Epic. All of it. Whoa! Best concert of my life! Did you know I even met the guy who does stage lighting for them? That was so cool!”
I chuckled, wondering what Beatrice would say if I were to tell her whom I met that night. Not to mention what that particular person had done to me. Would she even believe me?
I opened the car doors, and, once Bea and I were inside, drove out of the parking lot and onto the road, listening to my friend talk nonstop about the concert, the band, and, of course, their lead singer, ZAK, whom Beatrice seemed to be even more infatuated with after seeing him from up close. I don’t think I paid any attention to half of that. My mind was too busy replaying the two episodes I’d had that night with Valerie.
My phone rang.
“Want me to pick it up?” Bea asked me, knowing that I couldn’t use my phone while driving.
“Don’t worry,” I told her, “it’s probably some call center guy trying to sell me a new TV service or something.”
“At one in the morning?” Beatrice remarked. That was a fair point. I shrugged, and gestured for her to pick up the phone. A nine digit number showed up on the screen, telling me that whoever it was wasn’t on my contact list. Those kinds of calls were typically from call center folks. I wonder if they monitor our routine to find out the best times to call us, and if then, if there was any company out there eager enough to sell their stuff that they’d hire someone to call me during the late hours. “Hello,” said Bea. “Oh… yes, it’s her phone… No, she can’t talk right now, she’s driving? Oh, hi! Long time no see, huh? Yeah… No she didn’t tell me… You’re her what?!” Dear god, who could Beatrice be talking to? I hadn’t really introduced her to too many people, and I don’t suppose my mom or someone from my family would call me so late at night. Bea kept talking. “Yeah, uh, cool… No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that… Yes. Yes, alright, I’ll tell her… Good night for you too.” She shut down the call, and turned to me. “That was your ex.”
“Who?” I said, slightly distraught. Did I ever give Michael my number? Thomas wouldn’t have it.
“Priscilla,” Bea said, dryly.
I hit the brake so hard then that I almost caused a traffic accident.
Shit.
“You didn’t tell me you dated girls,” Beatrice remarked, sounding hurt.
“Fuck! No. Yeah. I mean, yes, I do. And no, I didn’t tell you, but… God, Bea, I’m so sorry.”
She looked really hurt. I had messed up.
“I thought I was your best friend.”
“I know, I know… Shit, this is so hard. Look, I was scared. Can you forgive me?”
“Scared of what? Me rejecting you?”
“Well, yeah! You have no idea how many friends I’ve lost in the past once they found out I was bi. The girls would always think that I had feelings for them, and the guys were just insufferable.”
“Do you have feelings for me?” she asked, in a very matter-of-fact way.
“No! Of course not! You’re my best friend!”
I heard a car honk behind me. Of course he would. I had just stopped in the middle of the road for no reason. I turned the ignition again, and took the car off the main road, turning on the hazard lights.
“Well,” said Bea, “then you have no reason to lose me as your friend.”
I took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Calm down.
“I’m sorry,” I told Beatrice, finally. “I really am. Can you forgive me?”
“Well, I wouldn’t be your best friend if I couldn’t forgive you for this, would I? Just… don’t hide things from me anymore, alright? Promise me.”
“Alright, I promise.”
“Let’s go home, now. I’m really hungry and I still haven’t told you about the best part of the concert.”
Beatrice started talking about the band again. It wasn’t until she mentioned Valerie’s name that I realized what a huge mistake I’d just made. I had made a promise with Beatrice that I couldn’t — and already didn’t — keep. I just couldn’t tell her what had happened between Val and me that night… but I couldn’t keep hiding it forever either, could I? And after I explicitly told Valerie that I was going to contact her… I’m not the type to go back on my word. Shit, I didn’t even want to go back. As much as it worried me to admit it, I actually wanted to see Valerie again. But if I told Beatrice about all of that she’d fuss about it, and probably blackmail me into introducing her to ZAK, and I have no idea what kind of trouble this would cause for Valerie and I. So I had no choice but to keep a secret. A secret that could cost me my best friend.
I drove to Bea’s house in silence, listening to her talk about Empty Memories and wondering how the heck I was going to get out of that mess.
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