POV: Scarlet
After Rey left I didn’t really know what to do with myself. So I began to clean up my apartment, which led me back to Maddison’s Christmas gift. I stared at it and then I opened it again. It was cute. I really liked it, but it hurt me to look at it for too long. The C.D. player had a c.d in it with a strange playlist. None of the songs really went together, the first track is Madonna’s Crazy for you. Then it was the song we danced to on the roof in the rain.
I closed my eyes as I listened to it, I could almost see it again. Her smile, hear her laughter, that look in those emerald eyes. Fucking hell. I get up and grab me something to drink, no way I can be sober for this.
When I start to feel tipsy I go back to the box and try again.
This time when I close my eyes I can hear the rain. I can feel her body pressed against mine. I take another large drink. Oh Maddy, why did you have to cheat on me? Why did you have to ruin this? I feel my tears slip down my cheeks and take a shaky breath.
I jolt when I swear I feel someone wipe my tears. I open my eyes and crouching down in front of me where I sit on the floor with the box is Maddison. She has a sad smile on her lisps. Her touch soothes me, I go to grab her and she vanishes into thin air.
A sob escapes my lips.
Fucking hell.
I throw the cd player against the wall before taking another large drink and getting up. I grab my car keys and I slip on my shoes. I am getting the hell out of here. Fuck this place. I drive down to my favorite bar and order my usual.
The alcohol helps numb me to it all. With enough in my system, I can forget about the whole thing. Forget the pain, forget why it hurts in the first place. Just forget it all. That’s what I want. I’d rather forget it all than face it.
“Hey.” Some guy sits next to me.
“Hey! Cutie pants.” I laugh.
“So, you look a little rough, maybe I should take you home.”
“My place or yours.” I laugh.
He laughs nervously as the bartender eyes him.
He’s okay I guess. One of those tries too hard to be something he’s not guys. He looks to be about ten years older than me. His jeans are too tight on him. He is trying to look thinner than he is. His stomach hangs just slightly over his belt.
“Whatever you want baby,” He says to me.
God if I was sober no way would I even give this guy a second of my time.
“I want you, to buy me some more drinksss,” I say.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
“Sure, but you haven’t.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.
“Come on, there are drinks at my place.” He helps me up.
“Okay! Soundsss fun.” I giggle.
I stumble over myself and he has to catch me before I fall.
The bartender whistles at someone to get their attention. My eyes watch as big strong and sexy walks over to us.
“Hey man, leave her alone. She’s good.” E.J. Says.
“E.J.! What are you doing over here? Have you been here the whole time?” I ask.
“Fuck off, I saw her first.” The guy says.
“I said, she’s good.” He gets in that guys face and takes my hand away from him.
“She wants to come with me, right baby?”
“Her name is Scarlet, and she’s not going anywhere with you.” He sneered.
“But E.J.” I pout.
“What’s it to you buddy?”
“She’s my girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend.” I correct him.
The guy sighs before quickly walking off, no way was he a match for E.J. the man of muscle. Emm, he looked so fine.
“Come on, let’s get you home.” He sighs.
“No! I’m never going back.” I pulled away.
“Yo E.J. You good man?” The bartender asks.
“Yeah, I haven’t had that much.”
The bartender nods.
“Come on.” E.J. forces me out.
“No! Stop!” I smack him in his pecks.
He just sighs and grabs me by my shoulders and forces me out into the cold night.
“Stop! Stop it!” I whine.
“You’ll thank me later.” He sighs.
“No! asshole! I want to drink!” I slurred.
“You’ve had enough.”
“No!”
He pushed me over to his car and forced me in.
“Jeez Scar, what are you doing?” He sighed as he got in the driver's seat.
“I am drinking! Whatss it looks like I’m doin” I slurred.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked.
“Because fuck you that’s why.” I crossed my arms and stared out the window.
“Are you upset we broke up? If you want to get back together—”
“No! I love someone else! She’s… she’s a bitch. I hate her.” I began to cry.
“What happened?”
“She cheated on me.” I cried.
He sighed.
“What a little fucker, fucking Maddison.” I cried.
“Maddison? Who’s that, is that the girl?”
“Yes. Just a little tease. I love her.” I cried.
“Hey, it’s okay, it will heal.” He assured me as we drove to my apartment.
“How!? When I have to fucking see her every day in my stupid class. That fucking little tease.” I spat.
I saw him tense up.
If I was sober I probably would have realized I just fucked up, but I wasn’t I was drunk. This is why I try not to drink alone. Who knows what will happen to me or what I’ll do, it’s a game of chance every time, but that doesn’t stop me from playing it.
“I just want to hold her again. To kiss her. I miss her so much. No one makes me feel like she doesss.” I sank into my seat.
“Maddison Johnson…?” he said.
“Yes, that fucking sexy specimen. Little fucking tease. What an asshole. I a cute little… asshole…” I fell asleep in my seat.
I woke up the next morning with a hangover. I was in my bed and still wearing what I had on the night before.
“Ugh! Fuck.” I rolled over and covered my head with a pillow.
“Morning.” Someone said.
I recognized the voice as Sherry.
“Fuck,” I said into the pillow.
“Fuck indeed. I hope you slept well, come on, get up.” She patted my leg.
I sighed and forced myself to sit up.
She had a soft expression on. I eyed her before my eyes traveled to a bag packed for me on the floor. Fear shot through me and I quickly turned to look for my phone, but it was gone.
“Sherry no.” I stood up.
“Scarlet, it’s time. It’s just a few weeks.”
“No! I’m not going back to rehab, no!” I snap at her.
“Scarlet do you even remember what you did last night?” she stood and crossed her arms.
“Fuck! God damn it.” I sat back down and fought back my tears.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“Sherry, please, don’t make me go back there.” I sobbed.
“You think I want that for you? Scarlet you are my best friend, I love you but seeing you like this. I can’t. you know how I feel about this.” Her eyes watered.
“I’m sorry! Okay. I’ll stop, I’ll fix it, don’t send me back there.” I cried.
She took a deep breath and sat next to me.
“Scarlet, E.J. called me last night. He said he had to drive you home from a bar. He said you told him about Maddison.”
My eyes go wide.
“I had to act surprised. I had to pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about, that is the situation you put me in. he knows now, and you know how long it took me to convince him not to go and tell on you? To persuade him that you were just having some drunk fantasy episode? I had to lie for you! fuck, I just incriminated myself, if it gets out that you and Maddy were a thing, I go down too now! This is over. Do you understand? You are getting your ass back to rehab or so help me god.”
I cover my face with my hands to avoid looking at her.
“Your mom is waiting in the car downstairs. I told her I would talk to you first.” She says softer.
I burst into tears and cling to Sherry.
“Don’t make me go back there, I can stop on my own, please.” I cried.
She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back.
“Scarlet, you’ve let it get out of hand. You know it’s too late for that.”
“I can change, I can! I broke up with Rey, you know I uh, I did the right thing. I stayed away from Maddison. I can do it, I can. Please just give me another chance. I can fix it. I can. I promise I can.”
She took a shaky breath.
“I want to believe you.”
“I can, please, I promise. I can. No more. I mean it.”
“You said that last time, and the time before that. You always say that Scarlet.” Her tears slid down her cheeks.
“I can… please…”
She shakes her head no.
Fucking hell. I just close my eyes and lay back down, putting the pillow over my head. She lays next to me and rubs my arm.
“It will be okay, it will be over before you know it.”
“Please don’t make me go through that again. Please, I don’t know if I can take it a second time.” I whimper into the pillow.
“I know you can. You’re strong. You can pull through.”
I moved the pillow and curled into Sherry. She pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back.
“I’m scared.”
“Me too.” She admits.
“What if I can fix it…” I say.
“Scarlet.”
“No, listen. I only start drinking when I think of something traumatic that has happened to me. Maddison cheating on me is what triggered this. If I can fix this, if I can get Maddison back, I won’t have to drink no more.”
“The kid is only 16. Not to mention she cheated on you.”
“I love her Sherry. I love her more than I love myself. It’s killing me not being with her. I just want to hold her again, to embrace her in my arms. That’s all I want.” More tears slip down my face and onto my bed.
“Scarlet.”
“Just let me talk to her. Let me figure this out on my own. Please. Just give me one last chance. That’s all I am asking.”
“This was your last chance, Scarlet.”
“Please…” I close my eyes tightly.
“What makes you think this time will be different for all your other last chances?”
“I have you, I have my mom. You two can keep tabs on me, you know and I’ll let my mom control my spending. You can come by and do a sober test. I’ll get counseling if that’s what it takes. Please just let me try to fix this on my own before we resort to that. And if I slip again, if I don’t meet your standards, then… then you do what you have to do okay?”
“Oh, Scarlet. I just wish you could understand how seeing you like this makes me feel.” She whimpered and held me tighter.
“I’m sorry. I am.”
“I know you are. I know.”
“Please Sherry, just one last chance.”
“If I had a dollar for every time you said those words to me, I’d be rich.”
“Please…”
She sighs.
“Fine, but I mean it this time, for real. No more chances. Do you hear me? I mean it Scarlet.”
I burst into tears and cling to her. She rubs my back.
“I can do this, I know I can.” I cried.
“Okay, we will see.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You can’t keep running from your problems through Alcohol. You can’t ever escape them, no matter what. When will you learn that?”
“I’m trying. I’ll fix this. I swear it.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
And so my mom came up to talk to me and with her and Sherry we worked out a getting sober plan for me. Then we went for breakfast. I felt like shit, and admittedly I wanted a drink, but Sherry’s right. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t keep running.
I have to face Maddison.
I have to tell her how what she did made me feel. How much I love her and how I wish I could understand why she cheated on me. I have to deal with this, or it will destroy me.
So after they left and I still had a lot left of this Sunday, I pulled out my phone and stared at Maddison’s name. I pressed call.
It rang, and rang, and rang. Until finally, she answered.
The line was silent for a while.
“Scarlet?” her voice rung out.
Just hearing it made my insides knot together.
“Hey, Maddison,” I said.
The line was silent again.
“Scarlet, I want to see you again.” Her voice shook.
“I… I want that too. Do you think… that maybe you can come see me today?”
“You mean it?” her voice brightened up.
“Yes, please, I need to see you again.”
“What about Rey?”
“She’s gone, we broke up.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, I need to see you again. I need to talk to you. I need to look into your eyes, Maddison. Please. Please come to me.” I felt myself tear up again.
“I’m on my way.” She said.
Then I hung up.
I took a shaky breath and sat down on the couch. I sat there for a few minutes before I got up to wash my face. Then I changed and made myself presentable. Then I sat down on the couch again. I waited a few more minutes before a light knock came from the door.
I quickly got up and answered it.
There she was, as beautiful and as perfect as ever. Seeing her made me feel so tingly inside. Why does she have this effect on me?
I stepped aside and let her in.
She smiled at me.
I shut the door and I couldn’t stop myself from caressing her face. She leaned into the touch.
“Hey Maddy,” I smiled back.
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