Every time I tried to soothe Gran, I made things worse. At some point, the gaps and fractures in me and her widened into something almost physical and palpable between us.

I didn’t know how to fix it, how to make Gran feel better. I didn’t know what to say, what to tell her to ease the suffering.

So I let Gran angry and grieve for both of us.

I didn’t think it worked. We both stuck in a loop, the pain grew more acute each morning and each night, but we had no way to free ourselves.