I feel like a ghost

most of the time,

no one ever seems to hear me

when I try to catch their attention,

they never seem to notice me

when I move

towards them or walk past them,

and it never dawns on them

that I’m gone,

that I’ve fled from the scene

until there’s a need for me

or when they actually start caring

and wondering where I am,

never wondering what I

might truly be doing,

yelling and crying out my

pain, anger, fears, and madness,

that has been stored up in me

for six years,

or beating myself with a bat,

for bruises are easier to hide

than cuts on my body,

even after all that

I’m still able to clean my tears up

and place a rough smile,

cause when they need me or

finally notice my existence,

they’re expecting a smile on my face,

to show that I’m still okay and alive,

even though I’m not

and I’m truly dying,

and yelling inside,

a transparent person,

a dead man

who is still here,

a solid ghost,

that is what I am