“Good evening, Valerie.”

I sighed, and averted my gaze. Giulia was being too formal, and I could tell she was feeling hurt. If she hadn’t realized I was avoiding her before, she definitely did now, after what I just said to Zack.

“Umm… good night, Gigi…” I said, still not looking her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” she asked, politely. “I can go.”

I shook my head. “It’s… it’s okay.” No, it wasn’t okay. It was the farthest thing from okay I could think of. Still, hearing Giulia’s voice, and realizing that she’d only come because she was worried about me, that softened me up. It actually even made me want her there, with me, despite my misery. “Please stay,” I asked her. Then I cleared my throat, “Um… Zacks, bro… would you… could you give us two a moment, please? I… need to talk to Giulia.”

“That’s what I get for worrying about you, sis?” he scoffed. “Fine, then. I’ll be on the roof if you need me. Call me when you’re done.”

Zack left the apartment, not bothering to close the door behind him. I heard his steps as he climbed the stairs that led to the rooftop. With that, Giulia and I were left alone in the living room. There was an awkward moment of silence.

“Um… Gigi, look…”

She raised her hand, signaling for me to stop talking.

“Why are you avoiding me, Val?”

Shit. I wasn’t ready to answer that. In fact, I might never be. And Zacky was right, I was a terrible liar indeed. There was no way I could make up something on the spot that was believable.

“I’m… Damn it!” I cursed. I looked into Giulia’s saddened eyes, feeling miserable. “Giulia, look, I’m sorry… It’s… I can’t.”

“You… can’t…?”

I sighed.

“I can’t be with you,” I admitted. “Not anymore.”

I gazed down at the floorboards, avoiding Giulia’s inquiring eyes.

“Was it something I did?” she asked me. I could hear her voice breaking, as if she was about to cry. It was like my heart was being crushed, upon hearing her words.

“No!” I exclaimed. It wasn’t a lie, even. Things would have been completely fine between us, even though Giulia had feelings for her friend, if only I hadn’t fallen for her. “It’s not you,” I told her. “It’s me.”

“Oh,” she said, simply.

I looked up at her eyes again, and saw that she was crying.

“Sorry!” I exclaimed, panicking. “I didn’t mean it like–”

“Save it, Val,” she said, simply. “Goodbye.”

I saw Giulia turn around, walk out of the apartment and close the door behind her. I was freaking out. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to tell her that this wasn’t what I meant. More than anything, I wanted her to stop crying.

But I didn’t move.

I stood still in the middle of my living room, looking at the closed door, and I didn’t budge. I was frightened, and because I was frightened, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t run after Giulia.

A moment later, I heard the sound of an engine coming from somewhere outside, and I knew that Giulia had gotten on her bike and was going away from me.

Alone in the empty room, I fell on my knees and cried like there was no tomorrow.