Daniel woke up with a his brain pounding through his skull. He wasn’t used to drinking, but he still remembered his night. The smell, the music, Nicholas. How he saw himself through that broken version of him.

Étienne would come back to the dorm in a few hours, so he still forced himself to rise and take a shower. Daniel's pride wouldn’t allow him to have his roommate seeing him as he reeked alcohol and was having the most awful dry red eyes. He took some pain meds with a cold glass of water, hoping it'd pass before Étienne came in.

The hot water ran on his back. He knew what he wanted, and admitting it only made his headache worse. He was haunted with the thought that Étienne would leave too. Like his mother, like everyone that ever mattered to him, there was no reason why he’d be any different. He quickly shifted the water to ice cold, drowning his thoughts down the drain.

The front door finally opened. The fairy lights filled with their memories shined brightly even with the morning sun peeping in the room. Étienne dropped his bags to the ground as soon as he saw Daniel come out of the bathroom. The younger boy didn't think before he ran to hug his roommate, the door left to hang open. Daniel could swear he saw little flowers bloom around them.

"Tu m’as manqué." (I missed you)

Daniel didn’t understand the words but he understood their meaning as he felt it too. He did miss him more than he wanted to admit. He thought it was weird how fast Étienne had taken so much space in his life. The semester had begun only a month and a half ago, but it felt like he never had been alone. Like he never had been miserable, like life always had colors in it. No matter how cliché it sounds, love really brings colors to life. All that butterfly flowery stuff Daniel never thought he would even feel.

Daniel rested his head on top of Étienne's, squeezing his shoulders, wishing never to let go just as much as he wanted to push him away. Out of his life, through the door, back in the plane, back in France. One day, he'll leave and it hurt to know. This Summer he'll take the plane and would go back to his family like his being there never mattered, never existed.

"One day I'll miss you forever.

You'll leave this life behind; you'll leave me behind."

Daniel gently put some distance between the smaller boy and himself, hiding his face with his hair, hiding his tears, his pain.

But Étienne easily pushed past Daniel's week attempt at distance. He wished to speak but couldn't without admitting how much Daniel mattered to him. The older one didn't wish to hear and the younger one respected it. The few words that finally managed to come out, quietly, almost impossible to get with the french accent, were the only one with the power of reassuring Daniel. It could've angered him but it didn't. It could've made him sad but it didn't either. It gave him warmth, it gave him hope.

"Dany, look at me! I am not your mom."

And even if he still had his doubts, Daniel took Étienne back into his arms, opening up a little.

"I know."