Any large incidents rarely ever occur here. This neighborhood is almost to the point of being desolate, even motored-vehicles are a rare scene.

Yet what was supposed to be, is not what always is.

Because right now, I should be lying down on a rough floor, and my back should not be feeling comfortable. But on the contrary, I felt nothing. My body felt as if it was floating on air. Yet beyond the devoid, I still felt a trace of warmth, wrapping me in resemblance to the comfort of my bed.

With my consciousness fleeting, I found myself sprawling in a shallow pool of blood.

“What happened? Why am I here?”

And no matter how much my mind was asking questions, my lips were unwilling to comply with its command. No one could hear me, let alone answered. Instead, what came to answer me was my field of vision which was colored by the slight tint of red.

Then with what little strength that I had left, I lifted my arms and brought it to my view. And as it was trembling just above me, a droplet fell right on top of my left cheek.

“Is this my…”

My mind threw yet another question. Yet before it was able to finish asking, it knew of the answer immediately. With my palms covered with what was similar to red paint, even my current condition would not stop me from understanding. However, for unknown reasons, this scenery which most would depict as horrifying, have not done so to me. Even if I did understand, all I felt was normality.

But in time, the world cast my delusion away, reminding me of what was true.

In replacement, it filled my body with pain, replacing the warmth that I previously felt with the sharp coldness of asphalt. And shivering, each of my arms grabbed hold of the other, desperate to wrap myself with any source of heat. With a self-made blanket, I tried to hide, in hope that I could flee. Yet no matter how many layers I formed around myself, I could not escape.

The bed that I was lying on was no longer warm. The dark color of red now only felt frightening.

“It’s cold.”

As I felt it seeping through my skin, so was warmth slowly leaving my body. And in an attempt to flee from the inevitable, my mind wandered off, flashing picture after picture. I guess that the rumors were true. Your life does flash right before your eyes when you are about to die.

“Mother… Why are you crying?”

I... Is that mother?

“I’m fine, my dear. Even I cry sometimes.”

“But that’s not good. That means you’re sad.”

“That’s true, Gwen. But I’ll be fine.”

Mother…

Truth be told, I did not even remember having that memory. Could I call such an uncertain recollection as mine? Was it just a figment of my imagination? Perhaps an altered memory that my subconscious wishes to believe?

As what I thought to be my memories flashing before me, I continued to question the validity of these images I was seeing. However, without the time nor the energy to fully analyze, I was presented with yet another experience.

“Woahh! Gwen got 100 again!”

Is this… primary school?

“You’re so smart! Teach me sometimes!”

I think so. I think I remember this girl along with this conversation.

...

“That’s not how you do it. You have t-“

Math lesson, huh?

“It’s so hard! I don’t get it!”

We just barely started...

“It’s fine, you just need practice.”

“Easy for you to say! You always get good grades.”

…

“Aaah! I failed the test again!”

That is because you just did not study enough.

“It’s fine, I-“

It’s fine, I-

“Shut up, Gwen! You don’t get it!”

Why... did she yell at me? All I tried to do was to comfort her. Was that the wrong thing to do?

…

“W-who…”

Yes, I remembered it as if it was yesterday. It was the sight of my locker in total shambles. Its lock was forcefully snapped; the content within was rugged beyond belief. Not to mention, it also stank, drenched by a liquidy substance that I wish not to know more of.

I did not understand before.

“That’s what you get for being cocky!”

This was the first time I did.

Great. Just great. In times like this, out of everything my mind can come up with, it decided to show me the reason for my being.

Heh, maybe if that girl was just a little bit nicer, I would not be here dying right now. Hell, maybe I will become one of the popular kids and become the people who despise the current me.

That is just too big of an if.

People say that if you want to change the things around you, you’ll have to change yourself first. However, that’s just a stretched conclusion, similar to what my classmates often do by hiding behind their words. They all spout some supposedly wise sentences in hopes of tasting at least a little of what they deem as an ideal world. In actuality, they are simply under the denial of the truth that there are some things unchangeable. But just so they can think that they are making a change, they sacrifice reality for it.

The true conclusion would be that changing yourself does not equate to a changed world, but a changing world will inevitably change who we are. Who we are can never change, but who we will be is out of our control.

There is no such thing as an identity.

Hence, there is no need to try and imagine what could become. The world has already done it for you. Even if that girl was nicer to me, there is no guarantee that I will not be experiencing something of a similar degree in the future. 

In every scenario; under any pressure of a situation; with any kinds of experience, I will still be Gwen. Unfortunately, Gwen whose life is decided not by me, but by the world.

Therefore, I too will die as Gwen.

“Oi! Call an ambulance!"

“QUICK!”

What's the matter? Why are they screaming?

Shut up already.

Let me sleep.

…

“Yo, how long are you going to sleep for?"

I felt a hand shaking my shoulder, forcing me to wake from my slumber. In reaction, I opened my eyes, welcomed with an unfamiliar sight.

I found myself lying down in an endless white room. The infinite space felt odd as there were no walls, ceiling, nor floor. How could I even be lying down when there are no floors in the first place?

“Yo.”

Suddenly, I noticed that I had some companion, crouching right beside me. He was clad in a color that showered the rest of the room. His entire body was clothed in white. And due to his appearance, this man beside me can only feel divine. Perhaps...

“Where am I? Who are you?”

The man in white peered straight into my eyes, latching his view without ever releasing my attention. And as my eyes latched back at his, my sight felt as if they were blinded, burnt by the bright white light which was not balanced by any contrast.

“509.”

Yet far from my expectations, the man who was seemingly dressed in wisdom, answered in random, unacknowledging my question.

“Uh... What?”

“You are my 509th case.”

Soon after he had answered, he stood up and walked away from me, leaving me to my own assumptions as his answer has not been any for me. But without moving too far, he turned around and revealed his face once more, sighing as he did.

“Phew, do you know? Every time this happens, they would always have the same reaction.”

He then continued with what I thought as a complaint. However, I was unable to truly judge due to his expression which was naught. And without letting me do so, he added his rant.

“Who are you? Where am I? Where is this place? Oh! Some even shouted, What did you do to me?!"

Wow... Even with no facial expression, he still manages to annoy me.

“Uh... Alright, how about I change the question?”

Yet in order to find some sort of explanation, I played along with his unclear demand, overlooking my annoyance for the moment. Now intrigued, he walked closer towards me.

“Isn’t that a bit more exciting?”

He then reached out his right hand and hung it on the air, waiting for my response. Once I thought of his gesture as unthreatening, I accepted and stood up with his help. Once I had my balance, I began to throw a new question.

“Are you what we call as “God”?”

Blatantly, I wasted no words and conveyed my first assumption. In response, the man looked upwards and slightly pinched his chin with his hand. After pondering shortly, he answered back.

“Unfortunately, I am no God. Heh, but I can understand why you would assume that I am one.”

In an instant, he turned my annoyance to disgust. And with confidence, he moved his hand once again, now brushing his sideburns as he chuckled proudly, multiplying his repulsiveness tenfold. With his hand still touching his hair, he continued.

“I... am an angel.”