Tab was more diligent than he'd thought. Or maybe more shy. Emmett let himself wait there for at least an hour before deciding it had been too long.

He rose with difficulty from the flat and creaking bed, crossing to the window to peek out through the thin curtains. He could see the car and trailer from here, awkwardly taking up at least three parking spaces. The trailer door was wide open, though he couldn't see in from this angle. Only the occasional movement of the shadow cast on the pavement told him Tab was still in there.

Emmett felt anxious. No booze, no smokes and apparently no one to fuck him to sleep tonight either. His thoughts were getting frustratingly loud. He wanted mindlessness.

Winter hadn't yet given way to spring and when he stepped outside he felt it, a chill that shocked its way straight through his system. At least it gave him something to focus on.

He didn't go to the trailer. He couldn't trust this headspace to say anything that wasn't bitter or begging. Emmett turned to take a lap around the building. Hopefully it did something about the restlessness.

Emmett hugged his arms around him as a breeze rushed through, clawing up his back and settling deep in his bones. It's what you get for never planning ahead. It was a different voice than his own. The thought made him reach for his pocket, where his phone would have been had he not left it tucked in a desk at home. Too many messages. Too much fake worry. He missed him all the same.

As he reached the corner, Emmett caught the scent of tobacco on his nose, and turning it spotted the smoker a few doors down. He was sitting bare chested in a lawn chair, a small cooler and shallow dish filled with cigarette butts at his side.

A bad idea. Emmett shrugged the thought off as best he could. If old voices still wanted to control him then they shouldn't have left him in the first place.

"Hey, got one you can spare?" Emmett called out as he circled around to the front of the guy. He wasn't attractive, sitting somewhere between 'cigarettes have aged me' and middle aged, with the beginnings of a beer gut and the memory of being fit once. He squinted at Emmett but held a carton out to him. A different brand but Emmett would be happy to smoke it anyway.

"For a few bucks can I also get something from your cooler?" Emmett chanced as he passed the carton back. As the guy pulled out a bottle, Emmett did the same with his lighter and a five dollar bill. They exchanged. "Thank you so much."

With a swig of shit beer and a cigarette between his teeth Emmett already felt more at ease. He felt warmer and maybe the stars looked a little brighter. There was still one thing though. He drew in a long breath, let the smoke float in him for a moment or two before blowing it out again. "Have you ever fucked a man?"

___________

He clearly hadn't.

Lying down on the edge of the bed with the man standing and plowing him from behind; well, it wasn't pleasure that was making him gasp. Whether he'd been that long without a partner, or that eager to try things with a man, Emmett had barely gotten the condom and lube on him before he was diving in.

Luckily the sensation wasn't new for Emmett. With the right movements on his end maybe he could actually get the stranger's dick to hit somewhere decent before he came.

Emmett pressed his face into the blankets as the stranger switched things up, pulling out all the way before slamming back. Well, when he didn't miss. It was kind of a relief when he returned to the same boring, rhythmic pounding. It wasn't good, but at least the guy wasn't the type to drop cheesy "oh, fuck yeah's" with every few thrusts. He would take wordless panting any day.

A jolt of panic went through him when the calloused hand on his hip slid upward. "Don't" He slapped the stranger's hand off, pulling his shirt back down before the guy could catch the sight of too many bones. His eyes stung and he buried his face in the crook of his elbow to hide it.

It was hard to regain any pleasure after that. The stranger wasn't even remotely giving it out despite Emmett's efforts. He slid his hand down to his own dick, pumping himself. Really, if he'd known this was how he had to finish things he would have just stayed in his room and jacked it alone.

Emmett went ahead and took his pleasure first, his hips twisting involuntarily as he spilled into his own fingers. It launched the stranger into his own orgasm and Emmett was glad for the condom as he felt the man plunge, shaking, deep inside of him.

No, it hadn't been good, but at least for now he was satisfied.