So this week i got news that i cant txt me boyfriend for 3 weeks.......great😒. But this is not the first time that we can't talk for a while. We have been in this situation more than one or you know like more than 5 times now. The truth is......im scared. I dont know what will happen,i dont know how this will end,i dont know........and thats the scary part. The unknowing. The waiting. The fact that i can do nothing. The fact that i might lose one of the most important people in my life. The fact that when he tells me not to worry i worry more. The fact that every night i have to got to bed worrying,does he still love me? Or does he like someone else? Or will he like someone else? Every night i lay in bed holding a pillow and dream thats its him. Or the fact that every night i go to bed crying and asking God why. Or the fact that i go to bed crying and wake up to a wet pillow 4-5 out of the 7 days of the week. I always dreamed to marry someone,have kids,live together,grow old with him. But when i think of Adam....i just cant see it. I use to see our lives so clearly....but now......hes fading. Im so scared,and for once in my life.....i truly dont have a clue on what im going to do next. I just don't want to lose him.