As I stepped outside of my bedroom, my eyes could not help but look around the house, in hopes that there was something or someone to be encountered. However, it seems that there has not been any presence in trace.

On a regular basis, mother is not someone who would often come back home in a daily manner; Therefore, this is how things usually are. Yet still, I found it disconcerting that she has neither call nor try to contact me through any form of actions.

But enough thinking about that.

What I must do now, is to focus on what I should do at the school today.

As I gathered my thoughts to what I expect as the right track, so did I gathered my steps and move towards the bathroom which was located just beside the front view of the kitchen.

For some particular reason, the sight of the empty house did not bother me as much as it did yesterday. Even though the emptiness lingers, my steps were composed, sounding light every time it contacts the floor. And to its reason, I could only indulge myself in assumptions, running never-ending simulations within my head.

Perhaps, Angel's presence this morning have eased me from my worries;

Perhaps, I am actually still in a state of panic that I cannot even comprehend my own feelings;

Perhaps, I am just that focused on this "quest" Angel had given me;

Or perhaps... I just don't care about mother that much to begin with.

That is one of the possible reasons.

It only took me one night's sleep in order for me to accept the fact that she would not be coming home. If the answer is not, "I don't think too much about her anymore.", Then where does this composure of mine come from?

As my mind pondered aimlessly, I began to think that my path has come astray. Actually, has it even been on the correct one since the beginning?

At the very least, in reality, my feet brought me to the correct destination, right in front of the bathroom's door. And as my right hand reached out to open it, there was only one thing that I could conclude.

I am thinking too much.

I always do, and I just cannot help it. Although it may sound like it is a blessing to have your brain sprint full speed at any given time, I mostly think of it as irritating to not be able to stop its function.

With my habitual reflexes, I placed my neatly folded uniform near the sink that anyone could spot as they entered the bathroom. And parallel to it, there lies a towel hanger which only held 2 blue towels. Yet without examining them much, I could instantly notice which one was mine because the color of the other towel had significantly faded over time.

How long has it been since her last time buying a new one?

Then again...

When was the last time she ever bought anything for herself?

I guess these were the questions that justify my overthinking.

In front of the door to the shower room, I undressed and held the clothes that I had just worn and placed them inside a laundry basket that was located right beside the towel hangar. Within it, I could only detect clothing that was mine, piled disorderly on top of each other. From the amount, I could assume that it was almost one week’s worth of laundry.

Just before I decided to take a shower, I went back to the bathroom’s door and decided to lock them. But as I did, I got reminded of the futility of the action as there was no one else but me within the house, save Angel. And to be honest, if the man wills it, he could probably teleport in here no matter how much security I have placed between us. But even so, I decided to lock the bathroom anyway just because it felt correct.

As now I found myself inside the shower room, I immediately walked under the showerhead and stood still for a moment, my eyes peeking towards the bathtub. Perhaps subconsciously, I thought of using the appliance today. However, as it was a hassle to prepare it, I decided to reach out for the shower faucet instead, immediately turning the shower on.

“Ah!”

Without noticing, I have forgotten to set the temperature of the water and did not ready myself of the sudden cold. And in reflex, I jumped back from the spray, feeling a little embarrassed by my idiotic blunder. As I regained my cool, I held out my fingers gradually, touching the flowing water gently in order to adapt my sense of touch to it.

Frankly, I do not have any problems regarding cold showers and just jumped back due to being surprised. And actually, I usually would prefer to have a cold shower in the morning just so it would help me truly wake up. Not to mention, I think I once read somewhere that cold showers are quite beneficial.

However, I think I would prefer something warm right now.

As my skin has gotten used to the cold, I easily moved under the shower, reaching out my hand once again to set the temperature of the water. With a flick, the water began to gradually transition, becoming warmer and warmer as they drop on top of my shoulders, resembling the heat of one’s embrace that was wrapping ever tighter around my neck. And within that comfort, I unconsciously held my eyes closed.

For the longest moment, I have always been labeled as a genius. Yet although I have understood the definition of the word in vocabulary, I have never truly grasped it meaning, nor its remarkability. And to this day, I still question, 

"What does it mean to be a genius?"

Exceptional intellectual or creative power or other natural ability. To be able to understand things with fewer efforts; To be able to understand things that are to be considered as complex. 

Yeah, right. I cannot even understand the simplest of things. I could not even see the things that were right in front of me. The things that anyone else would judge as obvious, were the exact things I could not grasp. What is so genius about that?

That is the reason why I have to continuously think. 

Composed, huh? I just don't know what I'm feeling of, that's all.