The day after everything imploded and she worked in the kitchen, and clear that she was clearly on kitchen duty from now on at the very least. She understood it, because she was afraid about it herself right now no more or less than anyone else. And even the pitying glances shot at her mother as she heard from them, and the way they lamented it.
As well as the remarks at how she climbed too high. Even when this was going on, they were still more than happy to bring her down. Some were happy, some did it for the sake of face. But now she was gone, it was either pity or smugness. And she didn’t feel as though she needed it.
Her father had sent her extra cash, as well as books to keep her occupied and increased her lessons in an effort to help things when they were necessary. To keep her thinking and somewhat hopeful. But more importantly, perhaps was giving her the chance to do as she wished.
He could not, or perhaps didn’t have a reason to drop by now. And he felt bad about the whole situation as it was, thus he wanted to help her or give her a chance to truly lived a she wanted at the very least right now. When it had been all but taken away from her at all times and even choices because she could have.
And today, she had just finished. She learned a lot with what her father taught her, and it kept her mind off everything instead choosing to learn to read deeper. And also the classics. That itself was difficult to achieve as they knew it, no more or less than they could have. Closing the notebook and the books provided to her, printed editions even. Which she also gladly shared with the children and took to teaching them in an effort to reaffirm what she knew then and there at the very least.
She enjoyed the lessons and what it meant for her. Even as she didn’t find it nearly as interesting and Yuntong clearly had a point when he said that it was not truly entertaining. It was good for its time, but when it has changed the application needed to as well. Even as he learned that there always was updates to it, and new ideas spread around which grown to be taken by them.
“I heard about the falling apart of the marriage negotiations.” Feiyu sat down on the table itself when they could have the chance to do it before anyone else at this point. And how this could change everything.
“I know, since I was taken away, then told about how everything was a lie. In a way, it was thankful for me since I never wanted it at any point either way.” She knew it, she was unwilling.
“It hurts either way, since most people would simply pity you, condemn you or laugh at your failure.” And that is something that she never thought would affect her as much as she thought it would have at this point right now.
“They do, and I can’t even convince myself to go out of my house right now. And work in the kitchen and I grew an appreciation for the cook, who understand what I’m going through and it was rather easy for me to work with her right now.” She had an appreciation of it right no more than when she needed it then and there right now.
“I talked with her, and she didn’t judge me. That itself suggests that she knew a lot more than what met the eye at the very least anyway. Or at least what was possible for them to do it while they could have thought about it then and when they could have wanted or tried to do so while they were here either if at all.” And a lot more than that. “She said that she never had the natural inclination to be a mother, and then never tried to. Eventually she was divorced and also left out of a home as well.”
This was the truth about it right now at the end of the day. That she never knew much about this until it had truly happen for her at any point right now. “I guess I never spoke to her or knew her that well.”
“She admits that she got better when she had you as a guide, even as that did damage your relationship with her, but she learned a lot and regretted quite a bit of the things. And saw how happy you were when you had the chance to do as they wished then and there as well.” At long last when they could have considered this for themselves at the very least.
And she understood that she had. A lot of them looked kindly to her, while she never let it go. Until the point she had a common ground with her and showed her some kindness. “I wonder, what about you?”
“Let me tell you a few things about myself. What do you think about my pipa playing?”
“It was some of the best I have ever heard if there is a chance for me to ever say about it.” She knew that. As well as someone she often discussed them about, when she was learning a little about classics and what they meant as well as reading travelogues when she needed it at the very least. She was literate, and that was unusual.
Even for her, when she learned better than what she understood deeply for it to be about. “Then, you should know a little about me. I was once about to be married and I jilted the man, I can’t say whether I was happy or not or otherwise. It was not one I could deny.”
“Don’t all marriages have them?”
“In a way for me, I was raised to believe who I was to marry. In a way, it can be for the better. At the very least they had the chance for them to know and be able to understand who they should marry or the chance for them to do things right now.” A truth about her, in a way she could view this in a far more positive light than before at the very least right now. This was a truth that she didn’t expect.
“I was also about to be married to the one family in the world where divorce was just all but impossible.” Which was only one, the Emperor. She knew that very much and well, since almost no other family did. A concubine would never come back, as once married, regardless of whether it was consummated or not it meant that they were part of his harem. To sully it meant to disrespect them, hence few women ever did. Although it was not a certainty that the women needed to be virgins.
“You were about to be married to the Emperor.” She said it, being rather aware of the realization if there was little else at all. This was something that she knew since more often than not, they looked for girls every three years. Cut down because there just wasn’t that much of a need. A harem for them could be around hundreds just from a single year, not to mention a huge amount of women hired for them.
It was not a wonder, but even then they often just take one girl from each province and then the women of them. “It is rarely just for the Emperor but also his family members, especially since the imperial family is incredibly small with many of them needing as many heirs as they can afford to have at any point. This is the truth when they needed it at the end of the day. I was for his brother, since he was running out of options and his health has not been great but also was childless.”
She knew that it was true to a certain extent, and how it functioned. Although further out, most governors, officials and any commoners simply had a single wife. The officials were allowed and also encouraged to take more than one wife, but it was not a need. And for some of them, they just simply don’t. Her father did once tell her that it was not an expectation, only reserved for men who served at the imperial court.
And the rest of the time, they just didn’t have the finances for them to even think about this if at all. And hence, few of them even considered this if at all, and that most had one and then left it at that. When they needed or had the chance to really do things when they needed it.
“But my father told me that it usually was only for the imperial court.”
“You’re right about it, and my father was looked down upon but held up as an example for not marrying. My mother and father had many children together without even considering the idea of where they could have or needed it right now. Most of them were for prestige and my father liked to say that without it, he had the chance to just focus on his career and climbing up even more than having concubines.”
“I thought marriage politics would be common.”
“They are common, but they also matter rather little. Sure they are hostages, but my father recognized that if he did so, he would have his hands tied especially if he was married to them. He greatly preferred to marry his daughters off to them, and then have his sons make prestigious matches but were from neutral families. This was his understanding of how ambition was.”
Even as most of it was rather foreign to her. “But I was raised to enter the imperial court. Because of my noticeable talents in music and also my ability to perform. I had it, and they nurtured it. And now in a way, I have strayed from my path.”
Since she was now here, talking to her as opposed to being married to the most powerful man then. “My offer was to his brother who was still his present heir since he had no children. He was a prince there, a cultured and prince who loved the arts. And I was aimed for him, since the opportunity was just there.”
Even as she raised her eyebrow. Thinking that there was a fair bit of luck down there, since she also knew that they changed years. Since she was born in the reign of the previous Emperor and now it was a new Emperor right now. “But it wasn’t what I wanted and then eventually choosing to come here. Traveling was something that served me well, although I stayed out of the regions near Kaifeng.”
And she understood why, since she was from the capital since her father served there as the imperial court. “What if I also want to travel? Can you give me advice in that?”
“I can. Just a little later and I can show you what I need you to do.”
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