The next weeks passed without major attractions. I woke up in the mornings, takes showers, work until 7 pm with a break after lunch and dinner, then talk with Paula and sleep. I didn't tell her about the strange meeting in the yard. I don't know why, but I was afraid she would tell the guards about it. She would definitely take Adam's words as an obvious attack and propaganda. Contrary to appearances, when it comes to such issues she was incredibly sensitive. She would probably go straight to the gatehouse and ask without any explanation whether everyone was taken to the care. The guards would be of course confirm this, but they would make awkward questions from where she got the idea that it could be different. And finally they could come to me. No, I definitely preferred to avoid it.

Meeting with Adam changed my perception. From this day I had sharp senses and watched the guards more closely. It could be said that a stranger planted a grain of uncertainty in me. However, I wasn't tempted to look for earlier homeless people in the hall. It would be stupid to ask people if they hadn't had a roof over their heads before. What would it look like?

However, I had to admit that the recent decisions of the authorities worried me a lot. For some time, the news has been trumpeting that a lot of apartment blocks were built for families. When speaking of families, they meant a handful of surviving marriages and marriages with children, but it was mainly about newly founded families. They proclaimed that if a couple decides to marry - whether civil or church, they would not only provide them with housing and work, but also additional privileges. Namely, if they give birth to a child within a year of their marriage, they will receive a fixed salary and an obvious increase in basic salary.

I don't have to say that more and more boys and girls started catching on this catch and wanted to receive this "gold that shines so nicely". The idea itself was fine. We had to increase the population for the country to grow stronger. I was able to understand that. However, I didn’t like the idea of getting married "because you will get something for it". Getting married is an extremely important decision. You can't do it so lightly.

Unfortunately, there was one more thing that was not officially mentioned. Apparently, if a woman dosn’t get pregnant within two years of marriage, the marriage will lose her apartment and return to the halls. Nobody had it yet, but according to rumors in the rental contract there was such a clause. To be honest, it filled me with a slight disgust because the institution of marriage began to be reduced to reproduction only. It really was in it all something suspicious.

However, sometimes I wondered if I could meet someone I will love and live with. There were many handsome men in the hall, but none of them caught my attention. For me, love and marriage had to be sincere. You had to keep all the elements. From infatuation, through falling in love, sincere trust and true love, to the creation of a relationship based on unconditional devotion to another person. If all of this weren't be in it, why get married at all?

Of course, relationships could be made with people from various halls, but I rarely went out for walks beyond my fifteen, so meeting someone "from outside" was unlikely. Watching the remains of some buildings that haven’t been cleaned yet wasn't also very nice, so if I dared to leave somewhere without Paulina, I always came back dejected.

Today, the weather was good so after all, I decided to take a lonely stroll. I had a day off because more volunteers gathered and we slowly managed to introduce shift work times. This meant a slightly lower salary, but more free time. Hall's meals were given for free to everyone living there, but it was more and more often heard that since we had a salary we could pay for food ourselves - it was another form of self-empowerment. Maybe it's okay? We will know the value of our work and the fact that we need to be able to support ourselves.

My walk I directed towards the nearby park, where was a charming pond where little ducks floated. After the earthquake, the park was a bit ruined, but our society work restored its former glory. I liked to sit on one of the benches opposite the pond and crush stale bread for the birds. There was always some left in kitchen, and if was enough breadcrumbs, I could took a little and used it here. In my suprise, the bench I used to sit on was taken. An old lady was sitting there, she was about 70-80 years old. It was now rare for such a person to meet so unable to restrain myself I asked: 

- Can I join you? 

The woman smiled gently and nodded signing that she didn't mind. I didn't know if she would want to take conversation, so I didn't talk to her, I just sat down next to her and pulled out a roll and started throwing crumbs to the birds. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the old woman was looking at me, however, not wanting to disturb her peace, I continued to throw crumbs towards the pond without a word.

When the roll was over, I sat back on the bench and caught the sunlight with narrowed eyes. There was a gentle breeze but approaching autumn was already in the air, so I used as much as I could of these last summer days. Sitting still, I almost forgot about the woman next to me, but she suddenly said:

- A beautiful day isn't it? - She had a slightly hoarse voice, but its tone was pleasant to my ear.

 - Beautiful. It's true - I replied - My mother loved such days. Not autumn yet, but not summer anymore. Everything still smell so great and these golden colors... They are wonderful.

- Yes - she said - I used to underestimate such moments. This tragedy had to happen for me to live again. You know, my little Birdie... - can I speak to you like that?

- Yes, feel free – I smiled at her - That's actually very nice.

- So, my little Birdie, once I didn't enjoy the beauty of such places and days. I didn't have a home before the quake. I lived in such parks. Here you could always find a corner somewhere. There are bushes here, some benches can serve as shelter from the rain. It is really a miracle that now I look at all this and know that I don't have to hide under them.

- Why do you say it's a miracle? In your case, it might actually be a blessing in misfortune that authorities gave you a place in the halls after the tragedy, but all of us got it - I knew that I intentionally made her talk about it. I expected an answer that would confirm that Adam was lying, that he had a chance, but he didn't use it. I wanted this confirmation, I wanted this lady to tell me that the authorities divided and gave equally. However, in the secret of my soul, I was afraid that it could have been different.

- Eh, honey, nothing is as simple as it seem. You know, homeless were never been treated in the same way as those who had homes but lost them. Why do I say it's a miracle? You see... Due to the fact that during the quake most of us weren't in the buildings, simply nothing may fall on us. This was the first miracle. But there is also a second and a third. The second miracle for me is that the guards wanted to take me to the halls at all…

- Why would they not want to? - I interrupted her even though I knew it was rude - They said they took everyone. Only those who didn't want to go with them was left alone.

- That's not entirely true, my little Birdie. It is not spoken aloud, but some of them didn't even ask if anyone want to go to the halls, quite opposite. They didn't invite us. They passed us indifferently. Only when someone asked if he could go with them, they could agree or not.

- Have you heard they would disagree? - my voice from the takeover broke down slightly - Did they refuse to anyone?

- Ah, not just only one person. They refused, cursed, told one woman that they could take her children, without her. She cried and begged for permission, but they were adamant. She gave them a small baby and let stay older daughter, because the girl insisted to be with her. As far as I know, they both died in the first winter. It's good that at least they took care of the newborn...

The lump grew in my throat. Big. Huge. From moment to moment I was feeling worse. I felt like crying but it wasn't just sobbing. It was worse. Whine and howling. Mixed together. It hurt and burned at the same time... Revolt appeared. Anger increased. What this woman was talking about was terrible, unforgivable. How could something like that even happen? I couldn't understand it. However, I had to keep talking. I could know much more from her.

- And you madam? How did it happen that you got to the halls?

- Birdie that was just part of the second miracle. You know, lately I haven't lived alone on the street. I met a young man who offered me help. He was also homeless, but compared to other young people, he wasn't just thinking about himself. He had such beautiful green eyes... I'm telling you, honey, amazing. Just like grass. He told me I reminded him his aunt. He helped me get clothes and food. You see, it's really hard to survive on the street at this age. Imagine darling, that on the day of the quake the night was so warm that we were sleeping in this park under the open sky. Nothing happened to us, we only run away from one of the falling tree. This boy really had a strong mind - the woman smiled revealing the lack of teeth for the most part, but this smile was unusually charming - when he saw what was going on, he found somewhere a pice of rag and washed me with water from this pond. Then he broke into the evacuated building and brought me fresh-smelling clothes. He dressed me and unnoticed led me to a group of people waiting for guidelines on prepared accommodation. Halls appered in the blink of an eye, so after less than a day I was already placed and I slept in the assigned bed.

- And he? Did they agree to take him too?

- No, he didn't want their help. Anyway, I don't think he needed any. He said he would never trust them. However he knew, that I couldn't survive another winter on the street, like this woman with her daughter. And he was probably right.

- You know something? - I tried to choose the words skillfully. I didn't want to frighten her away - I don't understand why nobody told us about it before. Why do they tell us that they have helped everyone, since, as you say, it was completely different. There must be more people like you.

- Maybe, but they probably prefer not to speak because they could be expelled to the street again - the woman said aloud what others would be afraid of. She didn't belong to timid people. My respect for her increased by the minute.

- Then why did you decide to tell me about it?

- And this, my little Birdie is because of the third miracle. I am 73 years old and I lived the last year and a half like a queen. However doctor who taking care of me in my hall told me that I have inoperable liver cancer and unfortunately I won't live to the next summer...

- Oh my God! - I paused and shook her hand frantically - I'm so sorry. Is there anything I could do for you?

- Sweetheart, you have already done so much for me...

- But I didn't do anything for you! - I protested quickly.

- You freed me from a secret I didn't want to die with. I hope that at the right moment you will be able to share it with someone who will change something with you. And together you will strive to somehow compensate for the injustice that has taken place.

The woman began to get up. I helped her.

- And one more thing honey. Don't say you didn't do anything. You probably don't even know that we live in the same hall. Maybe you don't remember how I once asked you to grate an apple to my porridge because I couldn't bite it nicely. You did it darling without hesitation - she put her wrinkled hand on mine - You are a very warm and sensitive person although every day when I see you you seem mysterious and inaccessible - she looked at me and her eyes hid a smile - I have to admit that I haven't eaten that good porridge for a long time. My mother, who is now in heaven, did similar one - she thought for a moment, probably dreamed of her childhood, then replied - Well... I'm going, my little Birdie, I have old bones and I can't sit for too long on this uncomfortable bench.

- Maybe I should accompany you? - I offered. 

- Don't bother, sweetheart. Sit and enjoy the weather. Thank you for a nice chat.

- Thank you, Madam. You don't even know how much I should thank to you...

Nice lady, whose name I didn't know, walked slowly towards our hall. I stayed in my place on the bench. Although I was strong, I couldn't hide my emotions anymore. 

Long held tears flowed slowly down my cheeks.