The following days were difficult for me. I had knowledge but I didn't know what to do with it. Who was I? A droplet in the sea. Unit that won't change the world for the better anyway. I didn't know what to do. As a result, I did nothing. I continued working, chatting with Paula, but it wasn't the way it used to be.

My worldview was in ruin. I knew the guards were not as good as I thought before. But something much worse bothered me. If they are not good, what are they like? Bad by nature or misdirected? Carrying out bad commands or just insensitive? Who really menaged all the strings those puppets and why? I didn't understand what it was all about. There were ominous flashes in my head that I couldn't recognize. Something was wrong.

 However, time was running along its tracks. Autumn has come, and with it more changes. The halls began to empty faster and faster. Many more couples started families. Did the cold outside make everyone want to be close to each other so suddenly? It didn't work that way for me. But Paulina...

First things first. One day Paula just came to me and said she met someone. I was surprised, because a few days earlier she was crying for Jack, who had married with one of the girls from our kitchen. I didn't comment on her behavior at the time, although I wanted to say my immortal: "I told you so".

Information about the newly met boy was a total surprise to me. Her behavior was also strange. I asked how they met, what he knew about him and what he was like. She replied that they had met when she was on a walk this weekend, that her name was Tomasz and that she had fallen in love with him. She seemed to be happy, and of course I wanted her happiness. However, this was not the end of the news. With a mysterious expression, she told me she was going to marry him. I was stunned. My mind was full of a million questions - "What?" "In this age?" "How is that?" "Now?" - she didn't know him at all.

I asked her if it wasn't too early and if she was sure. She frowned and said she thought I would enjoy her happiness. Of course, I assured her that I was happy, but I didn't understand why they were in such a hurry. She informed me that there was nothing to wait for, because at the start authorities will be giving help to them and that she loved him, and that is the most important thing. I agreed with her, but I wanted to convince her to wait, to let them have time to know each other, to not regret this decision later.

She was angry and so... strangely adamant. As if she wasn't herself. She said that she had already decided and I have the choice to either support her or end our friendship. It was cruel of her, but since she had put it this way, I supported her and wished her all the best. I found relief on her face and something else I couldn't put name on. Although her lips were smiling, something strange was in her eyes. Incomprehensible. A flash of pain? I couldn't guess.

Over the next days I helped her move to a new place. I met Tomasz and although he seemed to be a nice boy, he didn't suit to her. And the strangest thing... they hardly touched each other. I had the impression that their few smiles, hugs and affectionate words were forced. However, I complained in my soul for my irrational suspicions. The fact was... just two months earlier I wouldn't look for deception everywhere and I wouldn't think that something in these pseudo-idyllic scenes was strange. Everything of course by Adam...

Today in our hall office took place their extremely modest wedding. Only they, an employee of the authorities, best man and bridesmaid - me and Tom's colleague. Paula looked wonderful in her cream dress, which she bought especially for this occasion. Tomasz was equally elegant and really seemed to be in love with her. So, there was nothing else to do but wish them luck on the new path of life and promise frequent visits, although Paula and I were supposed to see each other at work. I came back to fifteen. I felt extremely lonely in the almost empty hall. Resigned, I took the shower, changed into my parents' nightgown and curled up in the bed. A moment later I fell under a restless sleep.

I ran alone through the woods. On a dark, scary night. The nightgown I was still wearing was torn and stiff from a sticky liquid. I was bleeding. I felt blood running down my thighs. I cut my bare feet with a pine needles and branches of protruding trees. However, I knew I had to run. Run as fast as possible. Someone was chasing me...

I felt a tug on my arm. My head was wet with sweat. Nightgown was stuck to my body. Disoriented, I opened my eyes and saw the main guard of our hall above me. He looked at me closely for a moment and then asked:

- Miss Lilianna Błysk, I suppose?

I had a dry tongue. I had to clear my throat several times and swallow before answering:

- Yes, that's me. What happened?

- You shouted in your sleep. Several residents have reported to me that they can't sleep through you - he gave me a critical look when I awkwardly began to get up. Ashamed, I covered my breasts with my hands, when my nightgown slipped. I completely forgot about the dressing gown - Please follow me, I will get you to the nurse. We'll ask for some sleeping pills.

I didn't want to go anywhere with him. However, I couldn't refuse. Everyone in the halls treated the guards like their immediate family. Like some kind of "Fathers" who will always help children when they go the wrong way. Oh, ironically... For the most of us they were flawless people. But not for me anymore. However, if I said that I didn't want to go with him I would arouse suspicion and I didn't want to do it. So I obediently got up, put on a dressing gown and marched in slippers to the gatehouse - a separate office connected by the hall with fifteen, where were located the nurse's office and guard's cloakrooms.

I have never been there before. The walls and floors shone with impeccable cleanliness. Visually everything was white and looked unusually cold. It was obvious that the guard felt there like a fish in the water. He walked confidently towards the door where the inscription: "Nurse office" was visible from afar.

He entered the room without knocking, inviting me with a gesture to follow him. Finding no other solution, I followed him.