It's been a few days since Felix explained the details of what's been going on.

Have you ever been so disillusioned and disappointed by someone that your whole world view changes? Before I knew the truth; the world had a bright sunny hue. There seemed to be a golden glow in the sky and now it's gone. Not only did it go, it was replaced with a gray gloom.

I've spent these last days miserably ignoring him and the whole situation.

Felix has been texting and calling but he hasn't tried to see me because I asked him to leave me alone.

I feel sick. I haven't been myself lately. I guess I couldn't handle the truth. I've been living a simple routine. Eat. Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.

I'm honestly afraid to face him. I don't know what to do or how to address this. I'm sure ignoring him and the situation isn't the answer but I don't know what to do.

I can't even bring myself to read anything new, I just read my old favorites.

Tomorrow will be a five days since I last saw Felix.

My alarm goes off and it's time to get ready for work. I don't want to go to work.

At the library Harvey has been handling the major day to day stuff. Of course he asked me what's wrong.

"I noticed you're reading 'A hundred years of solitude', is everything okay?"

I fake my best smile. "I'm fine. Just miserable."

Harvey knows me so well all he said was, "Misery loves company" and sits down besides me to read his book.

I sigh. "Thanks."

It's an extra quiet Friday at the library, thank goodness.

We lock up for the weekend and as I walk to my car in the parking lot, waiting for me is Cindy with her little dog.

I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. I can't keep myself from scowling at her. I walk to my car and she walks up to me. "Michael, I know your upset but he wants to see you."

"Cindy, you and your brother can just leave me alone."

" Michael, he's miserable. He just keeps waiting for you to contact him. I can't do what I came here to do, if he won't leave without you. "

Her little dog begins to bark.

"Pork chop, hush."

It's too late through. I know now what that bark means.

Felix is close by.

"I'm going home Cindy."

Then I jump into my car and drive home. I turn the radio on. It start to tear up and I wipe my face. Maybe I'm heartbroken?

I remember all the things Felix explained to me.

"Michael... " I can't think of that right now.

I needed a break. I feel heavy. Everything feels so heavy. I can't understand my feelings. I don't know how to express this weight in my chest.

I arrive at my apartment and go inside. I'm so tired. I'm going to bed.

I wake up to someone pounding at my door. I drag myself out of bed. I feel feverish. I look out the peephole and it's Felix.

" What do you want? "

"Michael, you've been locked up in your apartment for two days are you okay?"

" what day is it? "

"Sunday night."

"I think I caught a fever. I'm going back to bed. Leave me alone."

I look through the peephole and he's gone. I get to bed and pull myself under the covers.

My alarm goes off. It's time to get ready for work. I don't think I can go. I call Harvey, "Hey Harvey, I think I caught a fever over the weekend. Could you run the library alone today? If you need me I'll come in. Sorry."

" Michael, I can handle the library for one day alone. Stay in bed and get better. I'll call you after work to check on you, okay? "

"Thanks Harvey.

I go back to bed but it's not long before there's knocking at my door. I look through the peephole and it's Felix again.

" what now? "

"Michael, I brought you some food and medicine. I'm gonna leave it right here. Do you feel any better?"

I open the door. " Just hand me the bags, stocker. "

He looks unhappy. He hands me the bags. "Thanks", I say. I begin closing the door but he steps in the way to block it.

" I'm sorry Michael. "

"Felix, I don't feel well. I don't want to talk about this. I'm going back to bed."

" Let me take care of you. Your sick, please? "

That's the last thing I remember, cause I think I passed out.